Disgusted/Hurt please help

poet123

Tempting,...... but resist!!

whydoesithappen

The thought itself amused me, but will resist!

Keeping_Motivated

There are 2 things to consider here, if you do it he could then realise you have discussed it with friends and feel foolish which he could then take out on you OR he could really believe you were flirting with the friend and think its worse than flirting with a stranger so he could take the moral high ground.

I agree with others who have said you have shown such dignity (many would have flown off the handle or emotionally lost control) and for now it seems to have touched the necessary nerve with your DH so hopefully this will just be a blip and will have shaken things up for the better.

Minimum_Wage_2

be happy and treat everyday as it comes

Glitzkiss

whydoesithappen wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for all your responses, update on situation is we had a lovely meal and a chance to chat, I never brought it up he did, he said that he felt awful I had to hear what I did, it meant nothing but did admit he was flirting not expecting it to go anywhere just friendly banter. . .

Told him how it made me feel and how it may of made the other girl feel and we discussed the fact that it would be over in a heartbeat if he ever cheated. He knows I am not the type of woman to follow him around like a lost puppy so he knows I mean it!

He knows where he stands

whydoesithappen wrote: »

Well he was attentive, caring, remorseful and all in all we had a good night.

good!

whydoesithappen wrote: »

that having been said I have been thinking and just to push the final part of this home to him my very good female friend has suggested the next time she and her husband are over for dinner that I should flirt outrageously with her husband and see how my husband likes it! This may be silly and I am not one for tit for tat games but when suggested by my friend it seemed like a good idea, her husband is on board too!

What do you all think?

Absolutely no! Don't lower yourself and don't play games. This is a relationship which deserves respect. Your OH has failed in this once but it doesn't mean that you can't recover things. He needs you to lead by example.

xxvickixx

I'm so glad this all seems to be OK. Good on you for handling the sitiation with dignity. I heard my cheating ex many at time over the phone chatting up other women so I know how much it hurts but from what it sounds it's all sorted and just a case of a man being silly! It's so nice to hear a happy ending x

Mely

Op you have handled the situation amazingly! Seriously, you couldnt have done things any better than you have done. So dont ruin it now with playing any games, although i know it would be very tempting!
I am so very happy for you that things have turned out so well!
All the best for the future,
Mel X

jazzyman01

Hi - think that you have handled it brilliantly. Would just say that my sister went through a similar thing, overheard her OH calling someone to make a date when she was trying to surprise him coming home early. Huge argument but as they had been married for 17 years agreed to give it another go. Never really discussed it after that. Problem is for the next 4 years she kept checking on him - what she had not realised is that it would be more difficult to get back the trust they had.
She separated and is now divorced.
It may be helpful to see if you can get counselling?

whydoesithappen

Thank you all, we are doing same as usual, good. I am just keeping more aware to be honest, I am not checking his phone etc as I did that and found nothing so not going to turn into an obsessive as I know that harms my quality of life and well being too. Just keeping eyes and ears open and hopefully now that he has had a little jolt he will keep my feelings and those of others in mind.

What is it with some men honestly, having read some other post it is truely heartbreaking that good decent women are being put through turmoil because some men (not all I know that!) can't control their loins!

MadMac_2

Whydoesithappen - says it all really, doesn't it! We don't ask for it, but sometimes these things just jump up and bite us. Glad to read you're doing better now.

I'll wade in about the friend flirting thing too, if you don't mind. I can understand what people are saying about don't sink to his level - but what if your friend's husband was just *slightly* more attentive to you than your own husband? It doesn't have to be outright flirting, but just shows him that you are still interesting, attractive and desirable. We can all be taken too much for granted at times!