Disgusted/Hurt please help

Lunar_Eclipse

fudgecat wrote: »

Should he cheese you off further, don`t forget the possibility of S&M - making sure he is the M of course!

Don't you mean the slave?

How did the dinner go?

Bronnie

I posted earlier in the thread on this, a post borne of experience and heartfelt . I deleted after I noticed OP had read it,as it was not fitting in with the theme of the other posts at the time and it felt quite personal to me, although I hoped it would be helpful.

I do hope you enjoyed your special evening. It's a great first step!

It's interesting that it's often the woman in these situations that is the one to make the special effort to rebuild.

My slant on rebuilding and putting back sparkle if you like, is slightly different.

It focusses not on the woman trying to please her man, but on the woman independently building her own confidence and interests, at the same time this can make her more intriguing and interesting to him and stop him from feeling so complacent. It can be easy to treat something or someone we take for granted carelessly. Pleasing yourself first, not in a selfish way, but in a postive constructive way that strengthens your position in the marriage. Should the worst happen down the line, the woman is mentally in a stronger position to deal with matters.

I don't know if I've explained myself very well, I hope you know what I mean!

larmy16

Bronnie I think you nailed it with that post. I completely agree with what you say.:T

Minimum_Wage_2

Can i just add, Its not always the woman that is trying to save it nor is it always the woman that makes the first steps...

Mely

Any updates op? I hope things are ok!
Mel X

whydoesithappen

Hi all,

Thanks for all your responses, update on situation is we had a lovely meal and a chance to chat, I never brought it up he did, he said that he felt awful I had to hear what I did, it meant nothing but did admit he was flirting not expecting it to go anywhere just friendly banter. . .

Told him how it made me feel and how it may of made the other girl feel and we discussed the fact that it would be over in a heartbeat if he ever cheated. He knows I am not the type of woman to follow him around like a lost puppy so he knows I mean it!

Well he was attentive, caring, remorseful and all in all we had a good night. that having been said I have been thinking and just to push the final part of this home to him my very good female friend has suggested the next time she and her husband are over for dinner that I should flirt outrageously with her husband and see how my husband likes it! This may be silly and I am not one for tit for tat games but when suggested by my friend it seemed like a good idea, her husband is on board too!

What do you all think?

Thanks again everyone for your warm wishes, it's nice to know people who you don't know care enough to read and respond.

Money_maker

Methinks tis a dangerous game to play but you know your husband best.

Would like to add to those who have applauded the way you have handled this up til now. Not everyone would be so calm and measured.

All the best.

CG77

Hi OP,

I have to agree that 1) You've really kept your cool and your integrity throughout-I'm not sure I could handle it as well as you have! and 2) I wouldn't ruin all that now by playing games-he could quite righly get annoyed and you'd lose your position in this as 'the calm, mature, sensible voice of reason'.

Just my thoughts! All the best!

CG. x

whydoesithappen

Thank you, I guessed as much but would of liked to see his face though! but I agree perhaps a silly thing to do!

jenhug

whydoesithappen wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for all your responses, update on situation is we had a lovely meal and a chance to chat, I never brought it up he did, he said that he felt awful I had to hear what I did, it meant nothing but did admit he was flirting not expecting it to go anywhere just friendly banter. . .

Told him how it made me feel and how it may of made the other girl feel and we discussed the fact that it would be over in a heartbeat if he ever cheated. He knows I am not the type of woman to follow him around like a lost puppy so he knows I mean it!

Well he was attentive, caring, remorseful and all in all we had a good night. that having been said I have been thinking and just to push the final part of this home to him my very good female friend has suggested the next time she and her husband are over for dinner that I should flirt outrageously with her husband and see how my husband likes it! This may be silly and I am not one for tit for tat games but when suggested by my friend it seemed like a good idea, her husband is on board too!

What do you all think?

Thanks again everyone for your warm wishes, it's nice to know people who you don't know care enough to read and respond.

NO NO NO!!! Bad idea! Don't do it! Bad idea in so many ways! At the moment he probably has so much respect for the fact you didn't fly off the handle and do something stupid, feels remorseful that he put you in that situation. If you play games it will ruin all that! Bad idea!