Is it worth trying to get child support from this man?

tek-monkey

shell_542 wrote: »

That's your opinion Tek Monkey. I don't agree. I think some men do not have it easy and I think the "choices" are in favour of the woman.

For your woman messed by an abortion, I've heard of some using it as contraception whereas a man has to live with the consequences ... or those men who lose a child they so wanted because the woman chooses she doesn't want to have the responsibility of a child.

But you can't force a woman to carry a baby, it is her body and her life. The mans choice should be to wear protection, only an idiot sleeps around without then gets suprised that someone ends up pregnant. Our schools must be seriously failing if people don't realise sex is how babies are made.

shell_542

The same should be said for woman. Abortion shouldn't be an option other than for medical reasons then.

Sex = possible baby

For a woman sex = possible pregnancy. If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex or double up with protection. Goes for men AND women.

zzzLazyDaisy

The term 'stable door' comes to mind.

OP has already had the baby and is asking if she is entitled to financial support from the father, and if so what steps she should take, given that he lives in Sicily.

What OP, or her partner, could or should have done to avoid creating a baby in the first place is surely academic now. If people wish to debate the rights and wrongs of child maintenance, that surely is a subject for a different thread?

Aphroditesgirdle

Well I suppose I did invite opinion on whether or not it would be 'fair' to pursue him. I think both men and women get a bad press about this in different ways.

I do wish people would understand though, that while for some women having an abortion is a simple solution to the problem, it is not, and should not be presumed to be that for all women. It has health implications too as there is research to show that women who have early abortions are at increased risk of breast cancer. Pregnancy has both physiological an psychological effects for me from the outset and it's not like you can press a button and the baby never existed. Everyone is different and this child is mine too, biologically. And this was a man who supposedly loved me and has not even bothered to put forward his views on the matter. I suppose I was annoyed too at a comment his friend made ; 'your government will have to pay for her'. I feel as though he ought to make some contribution.

Anyway, I hope I am not letting my emotions cloud the issue here but just wondered whether in my position other people would begin this process.

shell_542

I think you'll find some people would and some people wouldn't. You need to decide what is best for you and your baby? Xxx

LizzieS_2

Aphroditesgirdle wrote: »

A male friend of mine told me that when embarking on a new relationship he asks the woman what she would do in the event of accidental pregnancy for this reason.

It is a good question to ask, but although a woman can be 100% sure she would not have a child if accidently falls pregnant, her emotions can be very different (and decision) if she does end up pregnant.

tek-monkey

My GF is adamant she wouldn't keep a child should she become pregnant, but I agree you can easily change your mind when the time comes. I used to be sure I'd want to get rid of it, but when an ex did get pregnant I wanted her to keep it. She didn't, that was her choice, but I'd have been happy if she had.

chriszzz

Hi Aphroditesgirdle,

I think now that the baby is here, then he has a responsibility to his child.

I do however think there should be serious advertisements for young men to waer protection at all times and not to rely on the woman to say she is protected because if they have a one night stand or in a relationship and not ready to father a child then they need to protect themselves because they have no fathers rights whatsoever in this country, apart from that the government, in the form of the csa will be after them to get their money.

DX2

chriszzz wrote: »

Hi Aphroditesgirdle,

I think now that the baby is here, then he has a responsibility to his child.

I do however think there should be serious advertisements for young men to waer protection at all times and not to rely on the woman to say she is protected because if they have a one night stand or in a relationship and not ready to father a child then they need to protect themselves because they have no fathers rights whatsoever in this country, apart from that the government, in the form of the csa will be after them to get their money.

What something along the lines of the HIV/AIDS advertisments back in the day?

tek-monkey

TBH I'd be more worried about an incurable disease than a pregnancy, but I've got a HIV+ mate so that kinda gives you a reminder.