Is it worth trying to get child support from this man?

shell_542

That's a whole different debate for a different part of this forum ... but yes OP, you decided not to go theough with the abortion. He had no choice. You had a choice whether to bring a child into the world whereas he didn't. This is a tricky topic.

Only you can decide whether its worth persuing child support from him if the option to do so is there, which it appears it is. A few people on here are applying through REMO so if you decided to, they could possibly help with any questions you have.

PlayingHardball

Hiya Aphroditierlkjerl (what a name!)

I'm going through REMO right now, and will post again to you later today (after work)

ALL PARENTS MUST PAY FOR THE OUTCOME OF CREATING A CHILD - NO MATTER WHAT COUNTRY THEY RUN OFF TO, or what the circumstances was around the actual facts of how that child was created! (talking about normal and consenting adults here) I do hope that not one person will come onto this thread and tell you not to persue REMO. This man, no matter how much he earns, should pay something towards his creation.

shell_542

PlayingHardball wrote: »

Hiya Aphroditierlkjerl (what a name!)

ALL PARENTS MUST PAY FOR THE OUTCOME OF CREATING A CHILD - NO MATTER WHAT COUNTRY THEY RUN OFF TO, or what the circumstances was around the actual facts of how that child was created! (talking about normal and consenting adults here) I do hope that not one person will come onto this thread and tell you not to persue REMO. This man, no matter how much he earns, should pay something towards his creation.

So why can a woman have an abortion for non medical reasons? She created a child... but.can choose not to raise it and support it for the rest of it's life.

Yes in an ideal world all parents would want to support their children both emotionally and financially and they would be conceived in a loving relationship but we don't live in an ideal world.

Powers are put in place to try to ensure men do at least financially contribute to children they produce ... but it doesn't stop the fact that the topic of this subject can be discussed and debated and people's feelings and views may differ.

Aphroditesgirdle

shell_542 wrote: »

So why can a woman have an abortion for non medical reasons? She created a child... but.can choose not to raise it and support it for the rest of it's life.

Yes in an ideal world all parents would want to support their children both emotionally and financially and they would be conceived in a loving relationship but we don't live in an ideal world.

Powers are put in place to try to ensure men do at least financially contribute to children they produce ... but it doesn't stop the fact that the topic of this subject can be discussed and debated and people's feelings and views may differ.

It is an emotive issue, I agree and yes opinions will differ. However, why do some people think that abortion is a 'default' option? For some people it is not an option. A male friend of mine told me that when embarking on a new relationship he asks the woman what she would do in the event of accidental pregnancy for this reason. However, in my case the man was clearly not concerned anyway as he used to remove the condom halfway through and not tell me - as I said I had an IUD anyway but at first he didn't know this... I do know that perhaps I shouldn't have got involved with him in the first place but it's too late for that now.

Thanks for replies - I guess I will look into the REMO option.

shell_542

Perhaps some woman should do as your male friend does ... and ask a new partner what they would want to happen in the event of an accidental pregnancy.

Abortion is an option, whether you (universal you, not you OP) choose to take it is up to you. But I just find the suggestion that IF you create a child you MUST support it financially a tad hypocritical as that statement only applies to men. Women do have a choice and some women do opt for an abortion. But if a man dare says "I really don't think it is right for us to have a baby" they are told "well you shouldn't have had sex then, you know the risks." Seems a bit like double standards to me.

Goes the same for if a man really wants his child but the woman decides she doesn't. She isn't forced to then go through with the pregnancy and subsequent finanial/emotional support for the rest of her life.

As for him removing the condom mid intercourse without you knowing ... I find that so odd. Sorry. I can't imagine not noticing lol

Aphroditesgirdle

'As for him removing the condom mid intercourse without you knowing ... I find that so odd. Sorry. I can't imagine not noticing lol'

ok, shell you obviously think I'm a liar so I am not going to keep defending my position to you - why should I? I know what happened and you should not judge everyone else by your life and experiences.

Abortion is not an option for a woman who thinks it is WRONG and would not be able to live with that decision.

tek-monkey

What about people for whom abortion is against their religion? Or those that just plain can't kill something of their own blood? Abortion is not the natural answer, it is a solution for people who screw up. Its also not to be taken lightly, I know a few women who've had one and while most are fine a few were really messed up by it.

Condoms are very effective, not 100% but nothing is. Glove up and reduce the risks, its a very simple choice. If you are not willing to wear one, accept the consequences of your actions. Even if its an accident, its your accident. Could have stayed home and had a **** and there wouldn't be a problem. If anything us blokes have it easy, the woman has to make the choice then we get someone to blame if we don't like how they chose.

Blonde_Bint

Hello Aphroditesgirdle:D


You persue the remo nothing to lose and could be something to be gained for your little girl. However, a word of caution I think Sicily is run ... (dont know how to put this in words) I think they have their own rules, I dont think Sicily is the same as Italy. I think were he Italian it would be more straightforward.

Please let us know how you get on I would be interested to know that even though Sicilian when it came to cs the laws were in place and working. Nothing in italy/sicily is straightforward you picked one hell of a nationality there girl:p my trepidition could be unfounded though.

shell_542

That's your opinion Tek Monkey. I don't agree. I think some men do not have it easy and I think the "choices" are in favour of the woman.

For your woman messed by an abortion, I've heard of some using it as contraception whereas a man has to live with the consequences ... or those men who lose a child they so wanted because the woman chooses she doesn't want to have the responsibility of a child.

OP I'm not calling you a liar. I apologise if my comment upset you I just found it bizarre! Please don't let words on a screen upset you. I've already said as the opportunity to claim child support from your child's father is there then do it if you want to! Look into REMO.

onetomany

go girl i would, i think all fathers should pay, they have and should have rights to access of the child what annoys me is the the ones who dont whant to know for years then want to come and play happy familys makes me cross