Is it worth trying to get child support from this man?

Aphroditesgirdle

I have a 6 month old baby who was the result of a relationship I had with a guy from Sicily. Her father left the UK when I was about 10 weeks pregnant because he was due to return to Sicily, where I understand he lives with his parents. He was very upset about news of the pregnancy, and though he contacted me after he left saying he wanted to see me, when he found out I was going to keep the child he refused to speak to me about it.

Now, I am thinking there is something a bit unfair about him just disappearing while I am left to bring up the child with no financial support from him at all. On the other hand, he lives in Sicily and I am not sure if there is any recourse I can take to try to get any support from him, if it would be worth it and if it would be fair to him. I don't think he comes from a well off family but his friend told me recently that he was shortly to take over his father's job which he suggested would be a stable job.

So what I want to know is, is there anything I can do about this and would you bother in my shoes or just leave it alone? I have his home address so he could probably be traced. Whether it would do any good is another matter. Plus, I don't really want him to hate me or feel I've ruined his life.

DUTR

Apply for CS and see how it goes, I don't know if Sicily has a REMO agreement, but you can look at the CSA site or other sources to find out.

looby-loo_2

If you can afford to bring up the child alone then I would leave it. If you will need to rely on state handouts then he should pay his share.

vaporate

Aphroditesgirdle wrote: »

I have a 6 month old baby who was the result of a relationship I had with a guy from Sicily. Her father left the UK when I was about 10 weeks pregnant because he was due to return to Sicily, where I understand he lives with his parents. He was very upset about news of the pregnancy, and though he contacted me after he left saying he wanted to see me, when he found out I was going to keep the child he refused to speak to me about it.

Now, I am thinking there is something a bit unfair about him just disappearing while I am left to bring up the child with no financial support from him at all. On the other hand, he lives in Sicily and I am not sure if there is any recourse I can take to try to get any support from him, if it would be worth it and if it would be fair to him. I don't think he comes from a well off family but his friend told me recently that he was shortly to take over his father's job which he suggested would be a stable job.

So what I want to know is, is there anything I can do about this and would you bother in my shoes or just leave it alone? I have his home address so he could probably be traced. Whether it would do any good is another matter. Plus, I don't really want him to hate me or feel I've ruined his life.

I am just going to come out with it and be totally blunt. Shoot me down in flames if you like.

Mabe, just maybe, the guy did NOT want the baby. I know it cuts both ways and he should of used protection (so should you) but what did you expect a guy from Sicily o r abroad for that matter.

As for contacting him for money. Don't hold your breathe.

Jesus people.

Aphroditesgirdle

Thanks for replies - I know Italy has a REMO agreement and I assume Sicily would come under that? Looby-loo - I am not completely self-sufficient which was why I was thinking really he ought to contribute something.

DUTR

vaporate wrote: »

I am just going to come out with it and be totally blunt. Shoot me down in flames if you like.

Mabe, just maybe, the guy did NOT want the baby. I know it cuts both ways and he should of used protection (so should you) but what did you expect a guy from Sicily o r abroad for that matter.

As for contacting him for money. Don't hold your breathe.

Jesus people.

I won't shoot you down or flame you, guys can be 'bad' wherever they are from (so can the girls be too)

Aphroditesgirdle

vaporate wrote: »

I am just going to come out with it and be totally blunt. Shoot me down in flames if you like.

Mabe, just maybe, the guy did NOT want the baby. I know it cuts both ways and he should of used protection (so should you) but what did you expect a guy from Sicily o r abroad for that matter.

As for contacting him for money. Don't hold your breathe.

Jesus people.

Well actually I did use contraception - I had a IUD but I still got pregnant. I have no doubt he did not want the baby - I didn't either to start with, but I did not feel I could have an abortion. Are you suggesting that guys from 'abroad' are always going to be less reliable? Surely a sweeping statement?

Aphroditesgirdle

Anyway the issue is not really about who wants the baby is it? The fact is she's his child........a lot of people try to claim child support from a parent who doesn't want to know. If he doesn't want to see her that is his choice but a separate issue from financial responsibility.

LizzieS_2

playinghardball is currently going through REMO and may be able to help.

It is extremely difficult to decide whether to have an unexpected baby - those not female and not having been there will find it hard to understand

DUTR

LizzieS wrote: »

It is extremely difficult to decide whether to have an unexpected baby - those not female and not having been there will find it hard to understand

I'm not so sure unexpected as opposed to unplanned, but it is/can be a shock and life changing to both parties.

LizzieS_2

DUTR wrote: »

I'm not so sure unexpected as opposed to unplanned, but it is/can be a shock and life changing to both parties.

Inevitably where parents have broken up, one is more likely to say unplanned when it is unexpected - that is through lack of knowledge of reality and the arguments offered are usualy viable (just watch a few episode of JK - well that was the most I could watch).