MSE Pregnancy Club 17

1more?

thanks redstar
i do avoid her calls when shes like this, i know her threats are empty ones but its still not nice, my grandmother is 80 and blames the illness i understand its her daughter but im her daughter and i believe its not all her illness she can be spitefull and hurtfull when something doesnt go her way,
her dr once told us that when she behaves in this way to think of her as a 10 year old child that cant have what she wants but even that i find hard as my dd didnt behave like her when she was 10
we are going out for tea soon so i will try and forget about her she always has a way of turning every event into being about her :mad::mad::mad::mad:

choccybikkie_2

(((hugs))) 1 more, I agree with redstar, you just don't need that atm.
I have no experience in mental illnesses but I sadly don't have any contact with my mum since feb last year when her and my dad had a silly row and my upset dad rang me to tell me what had happened and I just listened and let him vent and as soon as my mum found out dad had called me she went mad at ME????? So somehow even though I am 250 miles away I got the brunt of it. I still talk to my dad (when he wants something):( and everything between them is hunky dorey:cool: I sent xmas pressies for everyone, ( I still have a lil sis and 2 lil bros at home) and sent stuff for all their birthdays BUT my kids have not had so much as a phonecall on their birthdays probably mainly because they only ever remembered the dates of their bdays etc when I mentioned what we would be doing for their upcoming bday and as I have only spoken to dad a few times and not to my mum at all in 13 months they've been forgotten/ ignored.... I haven't even had a congrats from my mum about bubs :(:(

TBH I don't really feeel any great loss as they were never the most 'involved'parents since I left home I just think it is soo sad. My older sister hasn't spoken with my mum for about 3 years now as my mum can be a nasty piece of work and just cut ppl out if there is any kind of disagreement?!?

I think what i am just trying to say 1more is that sometimes ppl can just cause more stress in our lives than we need. Not saying you should cut her out of your life or anything but try not to let her upset you too much and focus on the ppl that make you happy

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

Hi again, well still no response from midwife, lol, typical! I'm kind of glad though as i know she'll say go into hosp. They take one flick through my notes, see i've had probs and keep me in

Pigpen i know what you mean, some of my midwives (at the hosp that is) have been great, actually the midwives are fine in themselves its the doctors and consultants i have a really hard time with as they are always too busy or dismissive - i get really frustrated with them! I am similar to you in some ways, i'd rather keep them all at arms length as often i think they do more harm than good - or it seems to be the case this time around. I refused to let the HV in after DD was born, told her to go away as the first time i saw her she kept telling me to formular feed when DD was just a couple of days old and trying to bully me into it. I must admit i was told the same about the steroids as they gave em to me with DD at 30wks, aparently they are effective before about 30wks but after about 32wks they kind of do nothing really and imbetween well it's kind of dependant on bubs lungs already and how developed they are.

But i know Choccy (i think it was choccy, forgive me if not) was just being reassuring - i'd prob offer the same advice if it were the other way around, usually it is best to go in even for just a check. I just don't want another unessecary hospital stay as that'll prob stress me out so much and send me into prem labour anyway, or bring on another TIA.

Thanks for the heads up on the Disney stuff, wouldn't mind getting OH to take DD so she can buy her baby brother to be something to give him when he's born. And if it can be spent on ANYTHING, i might get something vice versa too for her, from baby boy!

Budgetblonde - well my idea is if i have the steriliser and a few bottles, and a pump daddy can feed baby too (also if for whatever reason b/feeding fails i have the backup) - we did this with DD and it never caused a prob, she still b/fed fine till 6-8 mths. After about DD was 2 wks old Daddy used to do 1 or 2 feeds a day and gave me a break which was nice.

The TommeeTippee closer to nature bottles are good for this as they are more shaped like a boob, lol! We tested this on my nephew over xmas - he couldn't get to grips and didn't know what to do with the Avent or Mothercare (sterilise style) bottles no matter how much we tried, he just chewed them like a teether or pushed them out with his toungue, but we went and bought one of the TT bottles and he drank the lot no prob which was a relief to sis in law.

1more - i know it's not nice but my only answer was to cut my dad off, he has mental health issues, is very controlling and an alcoholic. He used to threaten to kill himself and switch off his phone and go missing for a couple of days or once 3 wks (he'd also slit his wrists a few times and overdosed and ended up in hosp - but never went the full way so i was certain it was attention as he'd only do when i.e i started working and couldn't see him, got preg, or was ill so couldn't give him attention everyday and things like that). The fact i was preg and getting so worked up about it each time i decided the only way to keep going sanely for my family-to-be was to cut him off. It pains me alot and i often wish i could call him and just see how he is but i know if i do i open a whole new can of worms...kind of a catch 22 situ - funny thing is my brother found the same thing many years ago and cut him off then. The whole family has tried again and again to help but as they say you can take a horse to water but you cant make them drink - people will only get better if they really want to. My thoughts are with you hun! x

redmel1621

Gillby1 wrote: »

Eeek! :eek:I'm quite glad i'm niaive about it - i'm still at the stage where i'm hoping to get through with deep breathing, a birthing pool and maybe some gas and air.

Gilly x

Sorry, I think I may have been a bit insensitive in what I said. I didn't mean to alarm anyone:( I am most likely feeling this way because I only went through it last year and don't have particularly small babies (not gigantic but on the big side). But if it were that terrible/traumatic I wouldn't be here for the 4th time would I. I also wouldn't entertain the idea of more;)

Some people view birth as an experience...I view it as a means to an end and just prefer to get it over and done with:p

xmaslolly76

1more i dont know what to say other than (((hugs))) it must be awfull. I have cut my mother out of my life years ago she was just poisen to anyone who came into contact with her and i didnt want it recking my little family like it has done hers. Maybe you could cut her off for a while until your more able to cope although it pains me to advise anyone to do what i have done sometimes it is the only way i hope everything gets sorted for you soon its not easy at the best of times let alone when your preggers :-) x

Gillby it can be done with just Gas & Air and breathing my DS is living testament to it although with the other two i had a little more intervention. :-) x

Budget personally i have found that its best not to mix feed until your breast feeding is established but i have known people who have done both from the start and had no problems at all. It is best to get a few bottles in just incase and if you plan on expressing you will need a steraliser anyway for the pump bits :-) x

Pigpen most of the midwives i have met have been next to useless IMO. the one who is meant to be at my surgery is lovely and has had 4 kids herself which i think helps that she knows what she is doing but she hasnt been there for my first two appointments im really hopeing she is on call when i go into labour as she is very pro homebirth and waterbirth her last one she had in a jaccuzzi which sounded fab but i cant afford a hot tub just to give birth in lol :-) x

redmel1621

Gillby - As xmaslolly says, it definitely can be done with breathing and G&A...I did with ds2(hosp) and ds3(home) I am having this baby at home with just G&A too.

Evansangel

I mix boob and TT closer to nature bottles for Lily. She accepts both fine

Any news from Gym yet? Im to lazy to read back and i have a tiny baby attached to me lol x

bexta

I don't think you were being alarming. Although I haven't given birth (and would rather not if, if there was any other way bubs could come out ) it's something that's different for every single birth. Some women get lucky, and practically just sneeze and baby makes an entrance, others, sadly don't go quite to plan.

I've had no experience of MW other than the one I see at the Dr, so I cannot comment on other people's experiences. I generally avoid Drs like the plague, there have been more than a few medical 'mistakes' in my family for me to trust them fully. I'm hoping to have bubs in the new midwife led unit at our hospital, which is opening soon, rather than the actual 'hospital' bit.

pigpen

Gillby.. I had DS2 with absolutely nothing at all (3.5 days).. Piece of cake it was! DS3 (36 hours) I had G&A and it was so lovely being able to hop off the messy bed and go get a bath.. though I was so exhausted I apparently sat in my own messiness for 45 minutes after the birth left alone in the room.. the quiet after the storm that was.. then it was bath and the nearest bed for my very well earned sleep!!

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

Re giving birth

I feel it's a design flaw, a zip across the tummy would have been much better :rotfl:

Managed with G + A for DS1 ( 5 1/2 hr labour ) hoping for similar this time