MSE Pregnancy Club 17

CAFCGirl

No he really doesnt want to be in there, and I can understand that.
Hes great and I love him, but he and I both know each others strengths and weaknesses, and he even said he'd probably end up being one of those guys on OBEM that we all moan about it, and he doesnt want that for me.....

We dont have anywhere that my mum could stay, and she works in the nhs, and becomes a bit medical for me, and would moan about things that she recognises in the job.....

Oh well.... maybe my plan of just sneezing and him popping out will happen and it wont be an issue

pigpen

shelley_crow wrote: »

Hey ladies,

I had my first scan and book in visit with the midwife today. All went well (except the baby wouldn't stay still long enough for her to get a decent measurement). One thing the midwife said was that breastfeeding is now "expected" of mothers. I didn't think to question at the time but thinking about it, when I had my son 5 years ago, I received NO support at all. They put a lot of pressure on me into trying but provided no support so it didn't work out for long. I asked for help several times in hospital but there was never anyone who could help apart from shoving DS on and walking away. Has support for inexperienced breastfeeders come on since then? I would like to bf for longer this time, I would ask the midwife but I won't see her for another 4 weeks. x

Most of the surestarts have breastfeeding supporters that are experienced and should have undergone some training.. I did mine there then I did the NCT training as well.. definitely worth checking out!

CAFCGirl wrote: »

im having a bit of a dilemma....

DH doesnt want to be at the birth, which is fine by me as I dont think Im going to find him a great coach etc, and hes just not very good with medical hoo-ha...
He's gonna be with me for a while but when it comes to actually birthing, he wants to be out of the room.....
But now Im a bit nervous about whose gonna be with me..... parents live 300 miles away, and only just moved here so dont know anyone. Sister lives here but is really squeamish and we're not really that close.....
I guess its because i dont really feel at all bonded with my midwife..... to be honest i feel like shes a bit judgemental......

So Ive developed a paranoia that not having anyone there who is just "for me" is going to make birthing harder, or do you think havig DH till push time will see me through..... maybe by the time I get to pushing,I wont care.....

Do you have a close friend you would come?

DH might change his mind once it gets to the crunch.. he doesn't have to look!

A fair few of the surestarts are training doulas too now.. might be worth looking into that, if you come across one called Tracey.. sack her!! lol.. Seriously though when it comes to pushing men are as useful as a chocolate teapot.. I wanted to pummel mine.. he wasn't even there for the last 3 I took my mother instead.

If you think your mum would be useful ask her! She might be delighted to be asked and something is always possible to work out.. My labours were so long I'd have had time to fly someone in from Australia!!!

And.. nakedness in labour.. I'd rather have died than taken off anything other than my trousers and knickers!!! Yet i'll breastfeed anywhere.. no way I was making myself so vulnerable in a place I wasn't safe.

KT1985

I have to say, I received more help with bottle feeding (formula and expressing) than I did breastfeeding, but that might be because a) the birth had been so traumatic for us both that they wanted to make it simple for me if that was my choice and b) because Alex was rubbish at it (the words of the mw and breastfeeding counsellor). A lovely MCA sat with me to do the first bottle feed and then talked me through amounts etc.

I am glad I don't have a video of the birth- my own hormone-softened memory of it will be fine thank you v much!

Alex is a whole week old and I don't know how I ever lived without him. Just gorgeous

Boots have a TTCN starter kit with 2 big bottles, 2 small bottles, an explora cup, 2 medium flo teats, 2 fast flo teat and 2 soothers for £14.99 if that helps anyone- I think i might buy another as it was such good value.

Sarah_Joanne

CAFCGirl wrote: »

im having a bit of a dilemma....

DH doesnt want to be at the birth, which is fine by me as I dont think Im going to find him a great coach etc, and hes just not very good with medical hoo-ha...
He's gonna be with me for a while but when it comes to actually birthing, he wants to be out of the room.....
But now Im a bit nervous about whose gonna be with me..... parents live 300 miles away, and only just moved here so dont know anyone. Sister lives here but is really squeamish and we're not really that close.....
I guess its because i dont really feel at all bonded with my midwife..... to be honest i feel like shes a bit judgemental......

So Ive developed a paranoia that not having anyone there who is just "for me" is going to make birthing harder, or do you think havig DH till push time will see me through..... maybe by the time I get to pushing,I wont care.....

As PP said do you have a friend close by who you could ask? And do you think that maybe when it comes to it that the pushing bit will just flow on naturally and DH might not want to leave you on your own? Or have you had a student MW at any of your appointments? Maybe mention to your #mW at next app that you don't have a birthing partner and does she know of a student who would want to be there for you.

Hope you can find someone anyway.

xmaslolly76

Morning ladies so its just me then that wants it filming it would just be for me to watch no one else cant imagine showing everyone me giving birth:-)

Cafc has your midwife got a trainee midwife they are usually lovely and havent been hardened yet by all the medicall stuff and they are usually more than willing to attend a birth if asked as they need the experience. I had a trainee with me for the birth of my second baby and she was amazing. I was a little angry at the time as the ward was short of staff and she ended up delivering me which they arent supposed do alone (boo was 5 weeks early) but that wasnt her fault and as i say she was really lovely and supported me through the whole thing she never left my side once. :-)

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

CAFC - I had DS almost 6 years ago, I had my mum & DH in line to come in with me when my waters broke they both said @ I'd be really happy if you could phone me in a few hours and tell me everything went ok @ my mum has MS so I decided I'd let her away with it as it would prob be too hard on her, my DH and I decided I'd try to make it as far as I could on my own ( as I had him warned it could be 18 hrs or more )then give him a call towards the end, we called him an hour before bubs was born TBH I found it easier when I just had the midwife, she sat in the corner doing up notes and let me move about etc and I coped really well ( only gas & air ) when my husband came he was in for 5 mins and I said he could go outside as I was distracted about how he was coping, I couldn't focus on myself. This time round we've decided hes not going to be there as I know my own body and know I can focus a lot better with just medical staff. We live 15 mins from the hospital so i know if anything goes wrong he can be there quickly. I had a straight forward birth with DS 5 1/2 hours from 1st contraction so I supose it's easy to say but if I needed a CS I would probably want him there.

1more?

i have been so excited about my scan today now im really scared, ive been awake 1/2 the night panicing somethings wrong
my appointment isnt until 1.30
catch you later

kindofagilr

freebiequennie wrote: »

Just a quick note seem to be finding bargain nappies at the moment popped into asda and a pack of 48 newborn asda own nappies sz 1 are £1!!!!!!

Ohhhh they'd deffo be worth a look in for a £1 you cant go wrong can you!

Som - yeah Ive seen it as well, its a good DVD isnt it, Ive found watching loads of births as well really informative

Xmas - Deffo NOT I know I will look like !!!!, and if I am weak and a wuss I dont want to be reminded of it photos as soon as he is born is good for me lol

Aless - I am deffo taking spare clohtes, we only live 5 mins from hosp but OH wouldnt have a clue what to get me anyway lol

Nooooooo Straightners?? do they have haridryers then? I mean I am not high matienence but I dont want frizzy hair lol

Shelley - congrats and welcome thats what my mam found 30 years ago, she wanted to breastfeed me and michael but coudlnt and didnt get any support, I htink thinks have got a LOT better, although I dont know yet lol

EA - I am the same as you, I can get in pool (if I get it) pretty soon so I would imagine I have dignity still, once beany is here and I want skin to skin I will probs just rip it off lol and not care!

1more? I am dying to know if your OH will get to the scan or not lol

The link neneromanova posted didnt work for me lol, it says girl, beany is a boy (he better be after all the scans and all the clothes we have for him lol

Awww CAFC I am sorry OH doesnt want to be there, I dont know what to say, its not like you can get your mam to come up cos beany could come at any tme?

1more? you will be fine (((hugs))) xxx

Well I am up, dont know what to do with myself lol, I have more sheets and blankets to wash for beany, so need to put them in.

My mam and brother are coming around just before 1 then we are off to the hospital, my mam has to have a camera (they found something a while ago and she has to have one every 5 years)

I may wash the bathroom out, and finish up the kitchen, I never got it mopped cos OH didnt move the computer !!!!! he had under the table.

Anyone else watch Glee???

I love it lol its class, so weird but great lol

xmaslolly76

Good luck 1more hope everything goes well :-) x

gymfiend

Morning,

Hope everyone's had a lovely weekend?

1more, good luck, think it's totally normal to be nervous Let us know how it goes, x

Som I think the breastfeeding dvd was shown at our parentcraft? If not I have a copy of it, might stick it on later Lots of labour vibes too -:D

Xmas I think some births are really beautiful, if mine went to plan and was a nice waterbirth I don't think I'd mind as I find it quite intriguing to watch, don't think OH could stomach filming it though!!!

Aless thanks for thought on spare clothes, how's baby Finn doing?

Can't remember who asked, but I plan to take make up with me more just in case I'm stuck for a couple of days, I imagine with visitors I'd like to look half alive! & a can of dry shampoo in case I can't be bothered with my hair.

I've packed a bikini top too, dunno whether I'll use it or not but can't do any harm to take it. Must admit, I'm not one for getting my bits out at the best of times, so don't imagine I'll want to straight away though I guess I won't know til the time comes!

Kindof hope your mum's ok?

CAFC do you mind your DH not being there? I've told OH I don't mind if he's there or not, as I think I could cope/focus better alone? Mum had all of us without my dad in the room, and said she'd do it that way again. OH really wants to be there though so I guess who am I to stop him! Hopefully you'll be able to get a trainee midwife in with you - a few people have said they were a god send during their labours.

Think that's me caught up?

Really random Q, if baby could be born to any song, what would it be? Me & OH were discussing last night, I can't decide...I like loads of music but none seems quite appropriate for a birth I think I'd like Regina Spektor on if I had a choice...NB: I'm aware it's not realistic that I'll care or that this will happen, I just like to think about it

Right I'd better get a move on, loads of eBay parcels to pack and midwife to get to!