MSE Parents Club Part 8

astonsmummy

Hi guys
How is everyone, I see feelie is back, I did try to text you a few times, but to no avail, so i'm sorry if I have offended you in some way

After much much thinking/soul searching etc I have decided not to move
I know it seemed like such a good idea but I just cant go through with it, i'll explain more later, just on the phone to the NHS line cos Ryry's temp is 38.2 dont know if thats bad but he's really not well bless him.

searching_me

sami you get you passport sorted? ... did you show us eds passport photo or did i imagine it? x

BeenieCat

MOTM, thank you, i'm hoping i feel stronger once baby is here, but i will always hate/resent him for this. I know i still have strong feelings for him so when i stop hating him so much i will know those feelings are gone. Like i heard someone once say that you have to care about someone to feel an emotion as strong as hate. Just feels like that will never happen and i know he's not shedding any tears over our breakup, i wish he was suffering.

Not sure about the CSA, i was young when i had DS and my then bf was clearly not ready and promptly done a runner, i was adamant i'd never take his money so i'd never have 'anything to thank him for' and almost 7 yrs later i've never had a penny and i don't regret it for a minute. But at the same time i feel this one should pay, i've got mixed feelings about it atm.

Sugar i had thought about doula's and looked up some info on them a while back, but i don't have that kind of money, i'm in the north east.

BM, yeah that's where i am lol, snacks woulda been good

Sami, all the mw's i've seen have offered a HB but i turned it down at the time cos i feel safer in hospital, even though i'm low risk and had a quick labour with DS. DS had low temp so had to go in SCBU overnight, and i'd never have known if i was on my own.
But now i'm really wanting one, more so i'm here for DS and the pets (whch is another issue, no one to see to my animals and wouldn't trust neighbours with a key). I do have an old friend i hardly see who said her husband could walk my dog etc if needed, but i don't know if it was a genuine offer
I'm 39+5, would they let me switch to a HB now? I don't know what i'd need to buy and i'm paranoid no one would turn up :eek:

searching_me

am as long as you and the kids are happy thats the main thing x

feelinggood_2

Sami_Bee wrote: »

awww Beenie :grouphug: have you spoken to your MW, surestart or the NCT? there might be someone who could help. Do you really want/need to go to hospital for the birth? maybe a HB would be simpler? you'd get 2 MWs to yourself, Chris slept through my labour, he only woke up when OH went in because he'd fell out of bed and he could hear voices and your DS is older so could he be trusted to stat put in his room or where ever if you make up a lunch box for him so he only needs to come out to pee

I read in a trashy magazine that some hospitals offer a 'Birth Buddy' system - they have women who voluntarily will be a birth partner for women who don't have anyone suitable. It is a great idea - might be worth phoning round Beenie?

csh_2

You can switch now Beenie. As I understand it, even if you went into labour with no planned home birth and refused to leave your house they would need to send a MW.
If you want a HB get onthe phone now girl and set the wheels in motion!

searching_me

beenie im not ignoring you sweets i just have no advice ((hugs)) x

BeenieCat

I'm seeing my mw in a hour (if my sister can pick DS up from school, she's not replied to my text even though she'd only just replied to a previous one??) so i will ask her then. I did tell her last time i was worried about coming home alone with baby, and birthing alone and she said a HV would come out to me a few weeks ago but no one ever showed. She was saying that people can come out and give me a bit of support in the first few days/weeks after getitng home, although nothing was said about birthing alone.

SugarSpun

Beenie, my pet doulas are in Bristol and Cambridge, so not much use to you, I'm afraid. I don't think I know anyone but you in the north east, but I wish I could help.

Why not call the MW team and ask if you can switch to a HB and what you'd need to do?

AM, whatever's best for you and your boys is best all round :grouphug:

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

I'm seeing my mw in a hour (if my sister can pick DS up from school, she's not replied to my text even though she'd only just replied to a previous one??) so i will ask her then. I did tell her last time i was worried about coming home alone with baby, and birthing alone and she said a HV would come out to me a few weeks ago but no one ever showed. She was saying that people can come out and give me a bit of support in the first few days/weeks after getitng home, although nothing was said about birthing alone.

Sometimes the MW's just sit there not really listening. You really have to spell it out for them. Go in and say 'I want this' rather than talking round the issue. I think a lot of the time when people say they have no-one to be a birth partner someone ends up being there. If you are sure you have no-one then push the issue, either by asking for a HB or asking for support at the hospital.
Tell her the HV hasn't been incontact and ask for her number x