MSE Parents Club Part 8

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

I'm seeing my mw in a hour (if my sister can pick DS up from school, she's not replied to my text even though she'd only just replied to a previous one??) so i will ask her then. I did tell her last time i was worried about coming home alone with baby, and birthing alone and she said a HV would come out to me a few weeks ago but no one ever showed. She was saying that people can come out and give me a bit of support in the first few days/weeks after getitng home, although nothing was said about birthing alone.

Sometimes the MW's just sit there not really listening. You really have to spell it out for them. Go in and say 'I want this' rather than talking round the issue. I think a lot of the time when people say they have no-one to be a birth partner someone ends up being there. If you are sure you have no-one then push the issue, either by asking for a HB or asking for support at the hospital.
Tell her the HV hasn't been incontact and ask for her number x

ManOnTheMoon

BeenieCat wrote: »

MOTM, thank you, i'm hoping i feel stronger once baby is here, but i will always hate/resent him for this. I know i still have strong feelings for him so when i stop hating him so much i will know those feelings are gone. Like i heard someone once say that you have to care about someone to feel an emotion as strong as hate. Just feels like that will never happen and i know he's not shedding any tears over our breakup, i wish he was suffering.

Not sure about the CSA, i was young when i had DS and my then bf was clearly not ready and promptly done a runner, i was adamant i'd never take his money so i'd never have 'anything to thank him for' and almost 7 yrs later i've never had a penny and i don't regret it for a minute. But at the same time i feel this one should pay, i've got mixed feelings about it atm.

Well, he's let you and baby down. Only natural to have resentment towards him. I understand relationship breakups happen, but a child is both a joyful thing and a responsibility.

I totally understand about the CSA. Neither mother of my clan has ever been chased as I don't want to give them a foothold. Not that either seemingly want one, but my girls and I do just fine without them, my girls don't cry themselves to sleep anymore and if anything ever comes up about them, my girls say not nice things. The way I look at it, is absent parents don't deserve their children and when they decide to try and come back, it's often too late and they will have to deal with that.

The other positive is that you get satisfaction that you've done your best in trying circumstances. I know, despite what other opinions about single parents are, i've always done my best and I think i've done alright.

Whatever you decide, you'll get the support on here. I think we are a pretty non judgemental bunch to a point and i've never had anyone frown upon me being a single father (at least not on this thread )

BeenieCat

I think i probably did play down my worries when i last spoke to her. I had my mother as backup at that point though and i had more time to get sorted, and felt it would sort itself out so didn't want to come across as a drama queen if it had worked out fine. Will definitely tell her how worried i am. My friend just rang me to ask how i am (i hadn't seen her for months until i blew my lid at her for disappearing when i needed her most, now she's being great) and i ended up crying on the phone to her, this is supposed to be one of the most important/happiest times of life and it feels like i'm being a hinderence on the few people who i am trying to get help from. I don't plan on doing it again so wanted this to work out instead of being so upset!!

Also i just realised i'm the most pregnant i've ever been I had DS at 39+5, in the early hours!

Buttonmoons

Anyone know how to make a root veg soup taste better? I like it fine as it is but OH complains it's bland.

It's normally -

Onion
Carrot
Leek
Turnip
Potatoes

and I chuck in a few stock cubes and salt and pepper.

Is there anything I could do to add more flavour?

I need to start trying new soups though. Lentil soup, what kinda lentils do you use for that? I have red split ones?

got-it-spend-it

I've been lurking this morning on my iPod as I'm too lazy to post on it!

Beenie- I hope your MW can give you some reassurance today. Is she coming to your house? I think Harley decided not to have a birth partner, so maybe she can offer some advice on it if she's around .

Big hugs to everyone with poorly children- there seems to be a lot of nasty icky stuff around at the moment.

In case anyone else was going to try, Tesco will not exchange branded nappies without a receipt (although they said they will exchange Tesco own brand ones). Will try Asda tomorrow if we get the chance.

Off to put the tree up now. We have some friends of OH coming round for a takeaway tonight. First takeaway since we had bubs so I'm muchly looking forward to it! Hopefully the company won't stay too late as I do like to get to bed reasonably early these days:o.

searching_me

bm mixed herbs and wostershire sauce .. nomnomnom x

Sami_Bee

searching_me wrote: »

sami you get you passport sorted? ... did you show us eds passport photo or did i imagine it? x

yes sorted just waiting for it to arrive (should be here by wednesday

BeenieCat wrote: »

MOTM, thank you, i'm hoping i feel stronger once baby is here, but i will always hate/resent him for this. I know i still have strong feelings for him so when i stop hating him so much i will know those feelings are gone. Like i heard someone once say that you have to care about someone to feel an emotion as strong as hate. Just feels like that will never happen and i know he's not shedding any tears over our breakup, i wish he was suffering.

Not sure about the CSA, i was young when i had DS and my then bf was clearly not ready and promptly done a runner, i was adamant i'd never take his money so i'd never have 'anything to thank him for' and almost 7 yrs later i've never had a penny and i don't regret it for a minute. But at the same time i feel this one should pay, i've got mixed feelings about it atm.

Sugar i had thought about doula's and looked up some info on them a while back, but i don't have that kind of money, i'm in the north east.

BM, yeah that's where i am lol, snacks woulda been good

Sami, all the mw's i've seen have offered a HB but i turned it down at the time cos i feel safer in hospital, even though i'm low risk and had a quick labour with DS. DS had low temp so had to go in SCBU overnight, and i'd never have known if i was on my own.
But now i'm really wanting one, more so i'm here for DS and the pets (whch is another issue, no one to see to my animals and wouldn't trust neighbours with a key). I do have an old friend i hardly see who said her husband could walk my dog etc if needed, but i don't know if it was a genuine offer
I'm 39+5, would they let me switch to a HB now? I don't know what i'd need to buy and i'm paranoid no one would turn up :eek:

It's not too late for a HB, there are plenty of unplanned ones.
All you ideally need is the room to be warm (either central heating or a heater in the room - so baby is warm) a plug (just in case they need to use any resp equiptment) and wherever you want to birth so bed/sofa etc I gave birth on our spare single bed that was ready for the tip so it didn't matter if it got ruined (it didn't) I just got a really cheap double duvet from poudstrecher to put over it so I just binned that after, a pack or 2 of maternity mats/ pampers disposable change mats and lots of clean towels. The only thing you'd need to get a wriggle on with is ordering pethadine or meptid as it has to be prescribed by a consultant and dispensed from the hospital pharmacy.
Lots of helpful info on http://www.homebirth.org.uk/

I know it's a bit scary at first but I really recommend it esp as your first was quick (as was mine) I'll definitely do it at home if/when I have another

Sami_Bee

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

...
In case anyone else was going to try, Tesco will not exchange branded nappies without a receipt (although they said they will exchange Tesco own brand ones). Will try Asda tomorrow if we get the chance.
...

Mine will/do

Button that's the right kinda lentil for soup, I have a recipe somewhere I think....

here it is http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=18473279&postcount=28

searching_me

definately not going out x

searching_me

did my disappointment make people go bye bye x