On verge of ending it all

Sea78

Hi,

I wouldn't tell them you are going bankrupt, just that you are seeking professional advice.

Wishing you all the best for tonight and WELL DONE!

Sea xxx

missk_ensington

If you've decided bankruptcy is the best way, I'd tell Amex. My (ex) partners going bankrupt and I got so p****d off with tyhem calling I got mad and said 'He's going bankrupt' and they left him alone after that! Amex/MBNA are notorious for being like yappy 'orrible little Jack Russels holding onto a rag. To be honest if amex are consulting a solicitor I'd be prepared to bet money on it, its because THEY are forcing a bankruptcy order thing (whatever its called) onto you. They're also notorious for doing that. Its best to jumo than be pushed I say.

Bankruptcy will all be over in probably 1-2 years, if you tried paying this off you'd still be trying when you die! As well as it sucking your monthly finances dry for 3 years through an IVA. The outcome of both is stil the same- you'll struggle getting credit and be seen as a high risk,. but thats gonna be the same whether you pay it off or not, so I'd rather not if it were me!

vyvyan_2

Your first target is to post on here every day with a quick update. It will do wonders for your motivation too and keep you focused when you feel low.

You might be able to stall your creditors by stating you are getting advice on bankruptcy and will be in touch as soon as a plan is in place (I'm not 100% sure if you can do this, hopefully someone could clarify).

I'm sure you will start feeling better once you can start making things happen. Channel some of that frustration too, which is often the cause of depression, into some action.

It's up to you how much detail you want to tell your parents but avoid going down the recriminations route and the what ifs, as that won't do you any good at the moment.

Take care and look after yourself - I'll look out for your post later. xx

southernscouser

hourami wrote:

WOW, that's all I can say at the moment. Had a lie down last night and slept for nearly 12 hours, the most in a very very long time.

I have read through all the posts and am so touched that there are so many caring people in the world. None of you know me but have been supportive. It means a lot.

I am going to call Payplan and see what they say but it seems to be that bankruptcy is the only way out of my mess.

I am not feeling suicidal at the moment but still feel very low. I will sit down with my parents and discuss everything with them tonight.

I just have one quick question, shall I tell my creditors that I am going bankrupt or not, I am thinking of AMEX especially as they have already sent my case to a solicitor who had given me 7 days to send back a income/expend form, and my time is up.

Again, I am really touched that so many of you cared to reply to my thread.

I will update later tonight about how everything went.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hello mate. Glad you got some sleep! Yesterday was the start of a better brand new life!

I wouldn't tell them you are thinking of bankruptcy just yet. By all means tell them you are talking to Payplan and you will give them a reference number as soon as you have it. Also demand that they only correspond with you through the post and if they persist with the phone calls you will report them for harrassment. Mention the financial ombudsman and even the office of fair trading and they will leave you alone!

As for Amex! F*** 'em! What can they do? Sweet FA mate?

Everest

Before you talk to any of your lenders, discuss everything with Payplan or as mentioned earlier the CAB or CCCS. They will advise you as to the best strategy for dealing with each creditor, and may be able to take over communication. That will make it infinitely easier and at least then you will be sending your lenders the right messages as devised by the people in the know.

Good luck tonight!

missk_ensington

Actually Amex can do a lot, they will come round and try and take everything, they'll have debt collectors on a weekly basis, they will harrass you 10 times a day by phone until you really do want to commit suicide and then eventually force bankruptcy upon you from their end. They are by far the worst of all them (Be aware MBNA/Amex are essntially the same).

I can't see another solution, have you considered changing your phone numbers just to give youself a break?!

$17mma

Honey (hourami)

I know that all of this seems unbearable, but just remember that you are loved, unique and special. You are worth so much more than those debts.

You have been given some good advise from others on this thread and remember that no one here will pass judgement on you. The majority of us have been through or are still going through our own financial struggles but here you will find support, encouragement and advice. :grouphug:

No matter how hard or bad it seems dont give up. Start your own diary like James and Southernscouser have done so that we can cheer you on and so that you can keep track of your finances and look back on how much progress you have made. :j

I know that starting is the hardest part and it will not all be smooth sailing but once that first step is made things will be easier.

You really need to talk to your parents so that they can understand and support you. They may reduce or totally remove your rent for you for a few months to help you out.

I will be looking out for your posts and will be cheering you on.

Good luck fleur

p.s if you do not want to talk to any of your creditors the try this site for letters.

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/debt_advice.php#6

southernscouser

missk_ensington wrote:

Actually Amex can do a lot, they will come round and try and take everything, they'll have debt collectors on a weekly basis, they will harrass you 10 times a day by phone

They can only enter your home if a balliff has been legally authorised to collect a debt of behalf of the creditor.

If they only send a collector they are not legally allowed to enter your premises and do not have the power to sieze your goods.

The two are very very different and shouldn't be confused!

As for the phone calls, if you make a note of the times and days they call you can report them to the financial ombudsman for harrasment!

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Its all very well giving hug and kisses and saying there, there... BUT

I think somebody has already asked the question, and it has not been answered, what did you spend £83,000 on:eek:, you live at home with your parents, you have no property, no responsibility apart from this massive debt, so where did the money go? I can see the logic of what everyone is saying about declaring bankruptcy, which is short term fix for this kind of debt, but this will not help the underlying problems of why you amassed such debts in the first place.

Are you into gambling? were you spending and what on? Something is seriously wrong and should be confronted, no use going bankrupt now if further down the line you are in the same position again, you will have learnt nothing from the advice being given now!!

missk_ensington

Its not difficult to authorise a bailiff, that can be done by a simple court order and would take 2 weeks (if my memory serves me correctly my mum did this to get someone out of her properties through issuing proceedings) If they know they ain't gonna get any money cos of bankruptcy, they'll give up and chase someone more worthwhile, who they might get a result out of.

Honestly, as soon as I phoned my ex's creditors and said bankruptcy, they stopped calling- They know at that point its a lost cause!