On verge of ending it all

Hobsch

Hi Hourami,
As you will see you have lots of support from us all here. I am new here too and since I have visited I have found lots of help from everyone.

Although my debts are not as high as yours I felt very scared about ringing Payplan and hung up the first 3 or 4 times I got through. I wish I had stayed on the line the first time cos they were so helpful. I kept saying sorry, and I was stupid and they said not at all, and they were great. Also once dealing with them or similar the stress is lifted, and the creditors are more helpful. Barclaycard for example rang me no end of times and I worked out a budget for my creditors and told them I could afford £51 (They wanted £98) and they refused everytime. Then I said I am dealing with payplan and they immediately said they would accept 1% of the debt (£42 at the time).

So you will see there is lots of hope.

For weeks I thought there was no hope of ever paying my debts, but with help from payplan, frozen interest etc. there is a date when I can be debt free. And not feeling so stressed has meant I can concentrate on doing some extra work, doing some ebaying and so forth cos I feel happier.

Please talk to us all and not have negetive thoughts. There is a way out and everyone here will help you.

QueenB.

Sending you a big hug.

Ok so many people have already given you some great advice and i will just be repeating it but here goes.

1. Your life is priceless and you are unique and so no matter how much money you owe it does not compare to your value. No matter how bad things look or how hard it is or how bad that depression hits you remember that your life is precious and find strength from those who love you.

2. Talk to your parents if you can, whatever their first reactions i am sure after a few minutes they will be ready to help you on your DFW journey, i am sure knwoing how bad you are feeling will make your money problems pale into insignificance.

3. Talk to payplan, cccs or the CAB, they won't judge and they will know which is the right way for you.

4. Finally, there is a real solution, and you are strong enough to find it and follow it through, afterall you had the courage to come on here and that is the first step. It is only money (i knew it doesn't feel like that at the moment) you are not the first or the last and as so many have said they can not take what you don't have. True status comes from within, and that they can not take.

Stay on here and you will find support and advice and hugs galore.

Good luck.

BrokeBrunette

after reading your post I had to respond to you. I am no expert regarding the debt you are facing and you are receiving lots of good advice from all the lovely people on here in that respect.

What I do want to tell you is that nothing is worth taking your own life for. Your parents/family would be devastated beyond belief, and nothing you can tell them about your debt problem could compare to how they would feel if they lost you. I feel qualified to tell you this because my brother-in-law took his own life last year, on my daughters birthday. As a family we still haven't come to terms with it and doubt we ever will.

I don't want to dwell on this but please, please talk to someone about how you are feeling. As I said before, your mum and dad will no doubt be on your side and will want to help you. Money means nothing compared to you, and how much your family love you.

I am thinking of you tonight, and sending you mega hugs.

westernpromise

Your gross income is about £24,000 a year and your debts are £84,000? You have no chance of repaying that, ever. Sory but there it is.

Eating lentils from Lidl and saving 50p here and there are not going to get you out of this one. You cannot hope to pay off a debt of 3.5 times your gross salary. It cannot be done, not at credit card rates of interest. Even at much lower rates of interest, it usually takes 25 years, and is called a mortgage.

You are either going to go bankrupt, or you may be able to come to some deal with your creditors whereby you pay them 1p in the £ or something. I don't know. I do know that you have no hope of repayment so you have to do someting else, and killing yourself ain't the answer because 1/ it's only money and 2/ it inflicts your problem on your family.

cheets99

Could you not sell the stuff you bought, you could atleast wipe out some debt by selling items, like the stuff bought from Harrods or John Lewis.

£85K is an crazy amount of money and you will need help from your family and counselors.

bluezone

Hey there,
Dont give in to the debt - I've been there and come through the ending it stage. When I first realised the scale of the debt I didn't want to tell anyone in case I was classed as a failure - how wrong I was. I have been on 'happy tabs' for a while now and they really do help.
I see your amount of debt and raise ya!
My family were more hurt that I couldn't go to them for help and support. I was sleeping for only a couple of hours a night, shouting at people, etc. I then found this website and amI thankful to all these guys or what! Once I told my family I even showed them this website and the posts I had written as well as all the replies from people - my parents cried. They couldnt believe how much support I was getting.

Moral is dont let the debt win, its not worth it - you are stronger than that!

Keep us up to date regularly with hoe your getting on xx

missk_ensington

Hi there, I aven't read through all your replies so somsone might have said this. From what I gather you don't have a property? If I were you I would go bankrupt, the implications being you can't obtain credit for 12 months and for a few years after that you would struggle, plsu when you get a mortgage you'll have to pay a higher interest rate. n the plus side, all this debt is totally written off, you just have to make a contribution (that you cxan afford without being really sjort) for 12 months until discharge.

It isn't very pleasant, but if you keep it to yourself no one will need know and okay, you might not get credeit for a few years, but you aren't going to get any m,ore credit for a few years anyway on what you owe, so nothing ventured...

There are so many legal loopholes and legislation to protect people from creditors, I'd get good proper advice. It's not worth being seriously depressed about.

Take care x

nomoredebts

Aww I can see why you are feeling so low it must feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. But coming here was a good move you will get lots of support here and lots of good advice. I hope you are feeling a bit better. You will find a way through, and we will support as much as we can on your journey, whatever decisons you make about your finances. You have already written down what you owe, that's a major step in itself. Now you need to write down your options and the pros and cons of each. Most have been mentioned and are all worth investigating before you decide what is best for you. As has been said, your health and wellbeing are paramount.

Have you heard of Christians Against Poverty? They are a charitable organisation based in Bradford but have branches in London too. They will not judge or preach at you but have helped a lot of people in debt get control over their finances. I am not sure if I am allowed to link to their site or not but you will find it on google and I would highly recommend you speaking to them. They will speak to your creditors on your behalf and get the phonecalls etc to stop. Do contact them as well.

It is outrageous the way these companies behave when it is obvious someone is in trouble...harrassment at its worst, IMO.
There is lots of help and advice available. I am just throwing CAP in as another (non profit) organisation to consider, even if you just need to talk to someone.

Big hugs to you, keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

Everest

To add my tuppance ha'penny worth to this thread, I just want to say how impressed I am by a number of things:

1. Generally: The responses to Hourami's post within just a day or two have amazed me by both their number and the sense, understanding and genuine care that they shown from the respective posters. I hope that Hourami is able to take the time to read them all: the advice is mostly insightful and sound and should definitely be followed.

2. Specifically to Hourami: I can only imagine how you are feeling right now, and how difficult it must be to pick-up the phone to the CAB or CCCS. But I am tremendously impressed that you have had the courage to start this thread. You have let people into what has been taking its toll on you. In doing that I hope you have started to feel better; your later post did seem more positive. Well done!

Hourami - take from these views what you will, but I would like to draw a number of secondary points. If you have read all the responses to your posts you will have hopefully noticed that no one has judged you, just like you asked in your first post. However, I don't think that was because you asked, rather, each poster, like the people at CCCS and the CAB, just want to help. Whether because they have had similar experiences, they are in a position to give you sound advice, or because this site attracts people who simply wish to support each other through encouragement and moral support.

What you admitted to says nothing of your worth as a human being or as a solid, respectable member of society who has much to give, and deserves much in return. By taking the advice of the posters who have written before me, you can help yourself. Be brave, take those next steps you'll be so glad you did!

Take care.

hourami

WOW, that's all I can say at the moment. Had a lie down last night and slept for nearly 12 hours, the most in a very very long time.

I have read through all the posts and am so touched that there are so many caring people in the world. None of you know me but have been supportive. It means a lot.

I am going to call Payplan and see what they say but it seems to be that bankruptcy is the only way out of my mess.

I am not feeling suicidal at the moment but still feel very low. I will sit down with my parents and discuss everything with them tonight.

I just have one quick question, shall I tell my creditors that I am going bankrupt or not, I am thinking of AMEX especially as they have already sent my case to a solicitor who had given me 7 days to send back a income/expend form, and my time is up.

Again, I am really touched that so many of you cared to reply to my thread.

I will update later tonight about how everything went.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.