On verge of ending it all

CosmoCat

just wanted to add my support to all the wonderful advice you're getting on here.

your admitting all your debts on here is a wonderful first step to a new and brighter future. as you can see now from the above posts, there are a few options other than your original choice, all of them involving steps to a healthier financial future.

you've got to take care of you mate. and it's time to gather your resources. talk to your mum and dad, i'm sure they'll want to be a shoulder for you to lean on, not more people for you to hide from.

call payplan. theirs is not to judge, yours will not be the worst scenario that they would've encountered. but they do have the experience and advice to help you on your way.

i want to wish you all the best.

homersimpson_3

first of all debts can be divided into priority and non priority debts Priority debts are those things you need to pay to live or things which can result in criminal conviction if not paid- e.g. rent, gas, electricity, food, poll tax - not paying poll tax is a criminal offence. credit card debts are non priority debts i.e. your living expenses take priority over debts you owe to credit card companies. creditors- banks and credit card companies- may try to intimidate you but under the law you have rights. you need to contact one of the various free agencies such as payplan, citizens advice bureau or consumer credit counselling service who will negotiate with creditors on your behalf. they will look at all you income, outgoing and debts and you are given allowances for things such as rent, food, travel to work costs etc which some people say are quite generous.
if creditors call you just tell them you are not prepared to discuss it over the phone and they must put it in writing- if they keep on just put the phone down. once you have contacted cccs, payplan etc you can tell them they must deal with payplan or cccs etc . if they contact you by letter just send it onto payplan etc who will deal with it. if they still call you, ring payplan and payplan will call them and tell them to leave you alone. don't be afraid of them- the law protects you just as much as them.
payplan, cab, cccs etc hear stories of yours every day and are not interested in judging you- why would they- they just want to sort the issue out. at the moment things may seem bleak but there is help available and there are many people on the forum who have got out of similiar messes so it is possible. if you don't believe me search the forums.

2 questions
a) have you tried to give up smoking?
b) why do you go through alot of trousers?
if you cut back on these would save £150 per month- this would help knock a large hole in debts

you could clear one debt (overdraft ) in just one month

Jezebel49

Please, please don't do anything rash. I only joined this board yesterday but it has already brought me a great deal of comfort.

The first thing to remember is that you are not alone. That is how I felt until a flood of people responded to my message yesterday, and you have had the same response.

It sounds very flippant, but what is getting me through this at this moment in time is the thought that this is all just about bits of paper, nothing else.

Please, phone/contact payplan if you feel able to. My husband has his full counselling session on Wednesday - come on, lets face this thing together!

Jez

System

Once you have spoken to payplan and they accept you you will get a client ID number. When anyone phones you explain that you are dealing with payplan, here's my client ID and you will find the calls and letters will die down considerably.

kickingkay

hourami wrote:

Thank you for your support, I feel a little better that I have actually sat down and gone through all my bills and had to write it all down and see what the damage was.

I get nervous calling Payplan because I fear that they won't be able to help and will judge me.

I was getting 4-5 calls a day and my parents were starting to ask me qujestions so I told the creditors that I have changed number. I set up a skpe number and they all call that. I open the programme at the end of each day and am now averaging 20 calls a day, some creditors like HFC bank call me 6 times a day. I don't wanna talk to them, and have told them to only communicate by post but they don't listen. Whenever I speak to them they railroad me into committing more than I have.

I also don't understand that if someone is already struggling to meet the monthly payments then how on earth is sending letters asking for the FULL payment gonna help matters.

Thanks again for all your help, need a lie down now.

you sound a bit better already!
as for the above its part of it refuse to deal with creditors put in writing (and photocopy one for each creditor)
you will only deal with them via letters from now on if they continue to call you , you will have no alternative than to contact OFT (there aer others im sure peops on here can name them) what theyr'e doing is harrasment you do not have to talk to them so long as they have an address they can write to then thats all thats needed as for asking for more money thats jsut how it goes, i have a couple of creditors out of 12 taht keep demanding more money "well can you pay the difference" in a word |NO! do not feel rail roaded repeat it over to your self im paying what i can when im in a posistion to increase i will keep saying it you will soon feel in control again
take care xx
Klare

Molanole

Please please please please please, I beg you not to do anything rash. The damage that you will leave behind will be far worse and your parents would rather have you and all your debts than not have you. It doesn't seem this way at the moment I know but there is more to life than money.

Please call Payplan and start the ball rolling. You will then be safe in the knowledge that you are making positie steps and believe me that will help. Even if it takes away some of the nasty phone calls and letters.

Then you must talk to your parents. Yes they will be shocked, they may even be angry but most of all they will be worried about your welfare. If you find it hard to talk to them face to face without them butting in maybe you could put it all in a letter to them, explaining how you got into your situation, how worried you have been about telling them, and yes, even that you have thought about taking your own life. Tell them how you have started to think about positive ways of addressing your problem. Ask them for their support, I'm sure they will be more than happy to give it.

Above all, take care, look after you. Keep us posted on here if that helps you, we're an understanding bunch.

jessicamb

Just to add my support to others posted here.

It might look bleak now but you'll come through the other side - as others have said its only money.

Big Hugs & Good Luck

In_Search_Of_Me

Welcome & a bug hug from me! Agree with the abive (1) Speak to parents (2) Contact payplan or CCCS - they wont judge you...rememeber that they CHOOSE to work where they do so WANT to help you. They are used to people crying etc so dont be ashamed or affraid...I was incoherant when I rang CCCS but they were great... (3) When did you change anti-depressants - they can take 6 weeks to kick in so give them time but if worried go back to GP who again will want to help (& if they dont see another GP!). Once you have done all these a huge weight 9or 3!!) will have been lifted because you will know where you are, will understand your options because you will be making informed choices, creditors will stop, your parents (who must be wondering/worrying what is wrong) will know & regardless of their reaction will at least know so no secrets. Big hugs and like the others said its just money...makes me SO mad though that people lend these amounts...its immoral.

gallygirl

:grouphug: bless, life seems s**t at the mo, but it will get better. Listen to the advice you've been give re Paypal etc., but also consider bankruptcy.... ok it costs £450 (I think) but in the circs could be the best money you've ever spent.
As for your comments on it - a friend has just gone bankrupt. Yes, she had to go to court, but the whole thing was a non-event, she'd worked herself up into such a state for nothing. The relief she now has when telling debt collectors who don't know is immeasurable - I saw how she used to shake when she came off the phone before.
As for what others think - how will they know, and what do you care? Anyone who knows you will just be relieved the stress has gone from your life.
Finally, no-one will judge you as harshly as you're judging yourself. Give yourself a break hon and get some more help. xx

miss_angie1

Firstly here's a hug from me!!

Don't be downhearted or depressed. You have done the best thing by coming onto DFW as there are so many people who are in the same or similar situations and can give you all of the support and advice you can ever hope for.

As others have said it is only money and you and your life are worth SO much more. Don't let this beat you. Keep your chin up use the practical advice by our expert money savers on this board and take one day at a time.

All the best to you and keep us updated on your positive progress.

YOU WILL SUCCEED!