waiting for police to arrest my husband

zztopgirl

tandraig wrote: »

I cant help thinking girl that you see a weakness or failing in yourself that you had previous abusive relationships. what i see is a woman who tried hard and then got herself out of those relationships.....which shows real strength of character! you have proved you can only be pushed so far - havent you?
keep it up girl - decide in YOUR mind whether you are weak or strong (and i believe its the latter) then believe in yourself!
hugs hun.

You are naughty, you made me cry! I have men falling over themselves wanting to be with me now, and i dont want to know anymore (they can see im a vunerable easy target and im not falling for it anymore), they can try all they like and this is coming from someone who didnt want him to leave cos i thought i'd be alone and miserable. Im so utterly happy on my own, i dont want to be in another relationship for a long time. When im ready, the right one will come along, but only on my terms only.

The pain hurts, but i just try to remind myself that i would have got through another few boxes of tissues in the past 2 weeks thanks to his mental torture. Its 2 weeks this sunday:eek: since he was arrested and i cant believe how different i am. Im hurting that he cheated on me, lied so much and basically just used me but everyday and everyway im getting better. I just cant get my head around why he would cheat, why did he sleep with someone else a few weeks after we got married? The more i think about it the more i realise how stupid i was, all the signs were there and i just didnt see them.

I dont think i loved him at all, certainly not how i loved my previous ex. We never had that honeymoon period at the beginning:eek: but we got on so well, that i thought we were meant to be, but obviously that was the abuse. I pitied him and mistakenly thought it was love.

He cant see me as a victim anymore, by the 17th i need to be as strong as possible, if he is released from bail (which is probably unlikely but am getting worried) then god knows what he will do. The police will be fully supporting me whatever happens though.

My counselling starts next week:j am really looking forward to it, have already spoken to the counsellor on the phone and got a massive confidence boost.

BitterAndTwisted

You're doing fantastically well and I applaud your strength and determination. Good for you, lady! I suspect that in a few months' time you won't recognise the person who put up with being treated so appallingly. In fact, I'd be surprised if you do now. Onwards and upwards!

Minimum_Wage_2

Hi ZZtopgirl, For once you are in charge of your own life and you can live by your own rules (that is if you want any) You have come so far in only two weeks, that should tell you a lot! dont worry about when or even if he gets out, i'm sure the police will be on there toes and if need be have a friend come round and stay for a while. Just look how far you have come in two weeks, your much stronger now than you was! dont stop or get worried, keep going, you have a life now!

Courgette

just read the ful thread - well done on your strength and determination :T. Here's wishing you all the success and happiness in the world :beer:

Courgette xxx

zztopgirl

Thank god i have the internet and that he didnt run off with my laptop either!

There is a wealth of good information out there, it wont apply to every battered spouse as what happened to me is rather extreme but hope anyone who is following this thread finds these links helpful.

http://www.lovefraud.com/

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/

http://www.frauddouspart.org/index.htm

http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com/ although i was repeatedly 'dumped' (he told me its not classed as dumping when you are married) have found loads of good coping tips from this site.

zztopgirl

Just realised too, its exactly 2 weeks since i was crying my eyes out, literally weeping buckets as a result of his mental torture, the abuse and tears carried on all night until he eventually lashed out at me.

It now seems a lifetime ago, i cannot remember his voice, i cannot visualise what he looks like, I can barely remember anything about him to be honest, when i (very rarely) look at a photo of him, i dont recognise the stranger that he now is. I have looked at my wedding photos a couple of times, they were only taken 8 weeks ago and im not the same person anymore. :A I have come such a long way, and i wont allow this to happen ever again.

Minimum_Wage_2

you stick by your guns on that one!

Tulip

ZZTopGirl,

I am sorry you had all this to deal with,But I am glad that you are now starting a new journey into a nice new life and are getting better,Take each day as it comes and do something that you enjoy that you couldnt do before.I really admire you for sharing what happened to you with us here.

Keep it up and you know something,you have come out stronger and look after yourself as you are No1 now


Katie

zztopgirl

I totally forgot too, that i treated myself to a lovely new handbag and some make up, and had lunch with a friend yesterday.:beer:

Couldnt do that when i was with him, was made to feel guilty if i ever wanted to spend money on myself, all the money went on him.

tandraig

now the money can go on you!! like i said hun - do what he didnt like you to do - and take pleasure in it!! oohhh my sister said after her divorce - her best revenge was - she is happy!!!