waiting for police to arrest my husband

Teapartymum

Ive just seen this and Im soo sorry you are going through this awful situation, I really do hope this can get sorted out very soon once and for all.

DX2

Morglin fantastic post!

Stephb1986_2

Hi zztopgirl I hope your ok this morning

Sending you lots of love and hugs

Steph xx

PrincessPlaty

Morglins post was spot on! :T

Im so sorry to hear what you have been through, i have been there myself and it is not nice

If you do want to stay in your home get in contact with WA and find out if there is an outreach centre in your area (they are in most areas now i do believe) they can provide you with support whichever route you want to take, they can also refer you to a counsellor aswell as referring your children for counselling if you feel that it may help them. A lot of areas have what they call a safe at home scheme now though the name differs from area to area, where they can fit extra security measures to your property at no cost to yourself.

When i had this done they took out my letterbox and blocked it up, provided me with an outside letterbox. Added extra locks to doors and windows, fitted metal grids over my front and back doors (they were glass tops) fitted security lighting at the front and back of my house and created a 'panic room' by fitting locks to a bedroom door at the front of my property so that i could shout for help if i needed to, and provided a cheap mobile phone to be kept in that room as a spare so that i could call the police in an emergency.

It may seem dramatic but it made me feel a lot safer in my home

I was also given the number for these http://www.ncdv.org.uk/ who got me an emergency injunction within 3 days! When you call them they take the basic details of what has happened and then refer it to a team of solicitors who do all the work for you, with me they did an affidavit over the phone and then met me at the courts for me to sign it just before going in to see the judge for the injunction. I contacted a lot of local solicitors about getting an injunction and tbh none of them were particularly interested :eek: NCDV were brilliant though

If you dont want to stay in your current property you can apply as homeless to any council because you are fleeing DV, it is classed as unreasonable for you to stay in the property they therefore have a duty to house you under the homeless act. This gives you the chance to start again in a new area without the fear that he could turn up anytime because he knows where you are. Even if you went with this option you would still be entitled to all the help i have listed above.

Nobody deserves to go through what you have been through, there is light at the end of the tunnel though, i do completely agree with the others that have said stay away from men for now you need time to find out who you are!

Good luck xxx

gedebage

The minute any woman is abused by her husband/ partner, that should sound the warning bells. It is time to part company.

Unfortunately too many women let the abuse carry on hoping that it will stop.

Violent men without intervention will only escalate their violence.

Please keep that in mind.

A person that loves you will not abuse you.

I really hope and pray that you get the love and support you need and that things will work out for you

zztopgirl

Morglin I beat you to it, rang the police dv unit, they are going to call me as soon as they hear from court, am seeing my advocate in an hour so I need to get my skates on, have sorted out my benefits over the phone and know what I need to do regarding those until I am strong enough to get a job. Dont need to change the locks cos I can lock the doors so he cannot gain entry, My front door has a middle door too which can be locked and there is only one key. Am seeing the psychriatrist later so will hopefully get another cpn who will support me.

Will stay strong:D

edited to add huge thanks for all the support, I will press thanks later but just popped online for something else and thought i'd add an update.

PrincessPlaty

gedebage wrote: »

The minute any woman is abused by her husband/ partner, that should sound the warning bells. It is time to part company.

Unfortunately too many women let the abuse carry on hoping that it will stop.

There is one thing to remember. A person that loves you will NOT abuse you.

Please keep that in mind.

Thats easier said than done especially when they are emotionally and mentally abusive too...

It takes strength to have the courage to tell anyone or to leave the situation and when they strength is being knocked out of you on a daily basis either physically or mentally it makes it increasingly difficult.

Very good sentiment in hindsight though.

Good luck today zzztopgirl, you have come this far the rest is easy in comparison xx

pelirocco

I thought your oh was in a wheelchair?

Morglin

zztopgirl wrote: »

Morglin I beat you to it, rang the police dv unit, they are going to call me as soon as they hear from court, am seeing my advocate in an hour so I need to get my skates on, have sorted out my benefits over the phone and know what I need to do regarding those until I am strong enough to get a job. Dont need to change the locks cos I can lock the doors so he cannot gain entry, My front door has a middle door too which can be locked and there is only one key. Am seeing the psychriatrist later so will hopefully get another cpn who will support me.

Will stay strong:D

edited to add huge thanks for all the support, I will press thanks later but just popped online for something else and thought i'd add an update.

Good for you!:T

Get all the help and support you need - you really are worth more than all this.

To walk away is never easy - but it can be done. My husband of over 30 years decided he would (because he thought he could lol..:rolleyes:) start to emotionally abuse me when I became disabled and ended up in a wheelchair, even though he would never have gotten away with all that crap beforehand..

He thought it was his one chance to start throwing his weight about, I think .............:rolleyes:

He tried everything- bullying, threatening so called overdoses, using our adult kids, playing the victim - the works. But, none of it did work with me - (too stroppy, I expect.......;)) - when I got out of that marriage, I felt 10 years younger.

He thought wrongly that he could be in dominating and in full charge of what I did, how I was, who I saw etc.,- but, that wasn't right so I walked (well, I wheeled really lol) out of his life, dealt with all the practicals, and now I'm married to a wonderful guy (also disabled and the love of my life).

My mates threw me a divorce party (lol.......:eek:), and I have never looked back.

My ex is still alone and sulking..............:rolleyes:

We have one life, and we don't know what's round the corner - do what will make you happy, (and keeps your kids secure and happy) and with a person who treats you properly.

Lin

kelloggs36

pelirocco wrote: »

I thought your oh was in a wheelchair?

I think this is a new husband - the other ran away with her lap top back earlier in the year, or late last year - from what I can work out.