Partner got no common sense

nothappy1

lynzpower wrote: »

Run us through it.

What is he saying about it. Is he saying OMG i cant believe I was so stupid- I cant believe I "fell for it" if thats what happened.

Or his he really baffled as to what the fuss is about?

Are you talking about it at all?

No to honest i have hardly spoken to him as soon as he came home suspended i knew that was anouther job gone .When he first told me he tried to play it done and pretend it was all inocent but he had gone over the line more than he let on i found the disaplinary letter and it was more than he said it wasnt anything teriable in the real world but where he worked its a big NO NO

nothappy1

Thankyou all for your replys i can see why people come here with there probs ,it's amasing how much better i feel

lynzpower

Im so glad about that.

It really sounds like you are in a right old state.

For what its worth I would have had a huge go- its vitally important for him to know how you feel

nothappy1

lynzpower wrote: »

Im so glad about that.

It really sounds like you are in a right old state.

For what its worth I would have had a huge go- its vitally important for him to know how you feel

Yes i think your right,the prob is i will end up feeling as if i'm nagging he won't get into a row.He just won't say anything he would never get into a argument with me which makes me soud a nagg

Money_maker

Maybe the thing is to have a bit of a go but follow that up with a resolution. Right, here are the bills, what are you going to do to help me pay the mortgage this month?

That way you can focus on a positive of needing to get the finances in order rather than what has been done and cannot be undone.

pickle

I know it sounds harsh but I think that they might have the best motivation. That is, that they really do want to keep him and his family safe. It may ultimately be for the best. He'll just have to try another area more suited to him, hard I know but better to dust himself off and get on with it. I'm afraid you'll have to grit your teeth and encourage him to get more work, unfortunately I think that having a go at him might just discourage him and backfire on you. He needs his confidence now to get out there again and earning. Hopefully the next job will be the right one for him?!

nothappy1

Money_maker wrote: »

Maybe the thing is to have a bit of a go but follow that up with a resolution. Right, here are the bills, what are you going to do to help me pay the mortgage this month?

That way you can focus on a positive of needing to get the finances in order rather than what has been done and cannot be undone.

My car was booked for a service last week and he was going to take it :eek: I asked were did he think the money was going to come from to pay 4 it .I am going to have to discuss the bills but because i'm so mad i wont be able to aviod getting in nasty digs so i'm waiting till i can get myself under control a bit i'm really stressed.I suffer fom bouts of anxiety so trying hard to keep it under control the last thing i need is to go off work sick Thanks all for your advise

nothappy1

pickle wrote: »

I know it sounds harsh but I think that they might have the best motivation. That is, that they really do want to keep him and his family safe. It may ultimately be for the best. He'll just have to try another area more suited to him, hard I know but better to dust himself off and get on with it. I'm afraid you'll have to grit your teeth and encourage him to get more work, unfortunately I think that having a go at him might just discourage him and backfire on you. He needs his confidence now to get out there again and earning. Hopefully the next job will be the right one for him?!

Yes they didn't do wrong he broke the rules.Cant fault him over looking for work he started looking as soon as he was suspended i think he knew he had gone to far .He's not having any luck finding anything else

PasturesNew

Did he get chummy and bring some stuff in for them? Not "bad stuff", just "normal stuff", but it shouldn't have been done?

nothappy1

PasturesNew wrote: »

Did he get chummy and bring some stuff in for them? Not "bad stuff", just "normal stuff", but it shouldn't have been done?

Coffee biscuits