Is 43 too old for a baby

ni_student

I think that if you both really want a child then go for it!

Obviously you will need extra medical attention but that doesn't mean everything won't turn out fine - you wont know until you try! My mum was 42/43 when she had me (a little surprise!) my oldest sister was 17 when i was born lol. But I wouldnt change it for the world- although when I was growing up I was aware my parents were older than most, I never felt different or that I was missing out on anything. My oldest sister went on to have a child at 20 so my niece is only 3 years younger than me and I can honestly say that if anything I had a happier childhood.

It also meant my parents had more time for me (and maybe spoilt me abit!!) and I can honestly say that my mum was like my best friend- unfortunately she did pass away when I was only 22 & obviously I wish Id had more time with her nobody knows what the future holds - my sister died at 20 from cancer and could just as easily have been leving behind a young family.

Sorry I think I rambled but my point is that you should go for it - it may not happen but if it does you'll not regret it.

busiscoming2

As this is your first child I see no reason why you shouldn't go ahead. It is obviously what you both want, can afford and have the love to give.

I think most people who would be wary are those of us who had their children younger and are now in our 40's & 50's and are just getting our lives back!!!

elfen

If this is what you both want, then go for it! There is nothing stopping except perhaps lowered fertility, but there isno reason why you cannot try!

Metranil_Vavin

We've just started trying for our first baby.

I'm 36 and worrying that I may have left it a bit too late (never tried to get preg before so dont even know if I can!).

Having said that, I'm SO glad I had my 20's to just have fun and be free. Having a child back then wouldn't have worked for me at all.

liam8282

I think the majority of older parents are having children in later life for selfish reasons.

They have lived out there partying days, done everything they wanted to do, are probably getting a bit bored and now "want" something else and a baby fills this gap.

When you have children, it should not be based on the fact it is something you want, like a possession or an accessory, it should be based on what is best for that child.

I know everyone here has different circumstances and opinions on this thread and that what I believe does not apply to everybody.

My view is 40 plus is pushing it as to being to old to have a child.

nottslass_2

liam8282 wrote: »

I think the majority of older parents are having children in later life for selfish reasons.

They have lived out there partying days, done everything they wanted to do, are probably getting a bit bored and now "want" something else and a baby fills this gap.

When you have children, it should not be based on the fact it is something you want, like a possession or an accessory, it should be based on what is best for that child.

I know everyone here has different circumstances and opinions on this thread and that what I believe does not apply to everybody.

My view is 40 plus is pushing it as to being to old to have a child.

Everybody who has children does it for their own selfish reasons !!!

As for being bored after "living out my party" days,I can assure you that at 41 I a) haven't done everything I wanted to do b) I'm certainly not bored and c) I really do hope there are a "few more partys" left in me !!lol

Metranil_Vavin

I think it's far better to have been 'selfish' and waited till you feel you are ready, rather than popped a few kids out by mistake in your teens/early 20's and then felt resentful that you missed out on your youth!

Obviously this isnt the same for everyone, and some folk are ready earlier, but I certainly wasnt (financially or emotionally), and I didnt meet, what I would consider, the right man until I was 33!

CGG

I had my only child when I was 36. My husband had turned 40.
I didn't know what had hit me! I was permanently kn@ckered and something bizarre happened to my brain - I couldn't think straight or remember anything until he had turned six, (years, not months).
36 for me was too old - but I can only speak of my own experience.

Molly41

Hi,
Im a midwife by trade and more women are getting pregnant later for various reasons - many of them selfish!
From a professional perspective older women have a higher risk of pregnancy complications and a much higher risk of congenital abnormality. They also have increased difficulty conceiving because obviously fertility in men and women decreases as they get older. We are "biologically" set to have children in in our twenties/ early thirties.
From a personal perspective - i was the only child of "elderly" parents and felt it dreadfully. My parents were Old and they were not trendy or interested in my culture especially as a teenager. As they were older they were very tired and I never went anywhere exciting. I spent a lot of my childhood looking at garden centres. I was desperately lonely and remember praying to God for a baby brother and sister which of course never happened because they had left it too late. I have struggled all the way through as now I have very elderly parents and four kids and Im not well. I could really do with some support and help from them but they cant and really have not been able to help me for years. My kids have mised having active grandparents who have good health to enjoy them and be interested. I missed a generation with my parents and obviously I love them dearly but I would have had things different for my childhood and indeed I did. I had my children at 22, 23, 25 and 26 and its the BEST thing Ive ever done. I made a concious decision that I did not want for children what I expereinced. I have one thing to say to you...remember children are for life not for christmas. Think carefully about what you are letting yourself in for. Just because you are older does not mean you are wiser!!

Molly

ladypinkof66

liam8282 wrote: »

I think the majority of older parents are having children in later life for selfish reasons.

They have lived out there partying days, done everything they wanted to do, are probably getting a bit bored and now "want" something else and a baby fills this gap.

When you have children, it should not be based on the fact it is something you want, like a possession or an accessory, it should be based on what is best for that child.

I know everyone here has different circumstances and opinions on this thread and that what I believe does not apply to everybody.

My view is 40 plus is pushing it as to being to old to have a child.

Lots of women dont choose to have a child later in life through selfish reasons, in fact most responsible women wait until they have met a decent partner before they decide to embark on having a child, many women unfortunately do not meet their ideal partner until late in life, they dont just settle for just anyone in order to have a child, and then by the time they feel settled enough to bring a child into this world, they may well be in their late 30's or even 40's. Why should they not then try for a much wanted child in which they feel they can afford and in which they have a loving relationship. If more people waited for an ideal partner before embarking on casual relationships and then unexpected finding themself pregnant what a different world we would have.

I am myself 43 nearly 44 and still childless due to no fault of my own, and hoping to adopt a child under the age of 5, good job adoption agencies dont think the same as several people on here as otherwise we would all be written off at 30 !!!!! and children desperate for a home would remain in care.