Is 43 too old for a baby

ailuro2

Why not visit your GP and have some tests done first before you throw your heart into the ring?

They can test your hormones to see whether you've a chance or not - in which case you could start on the adoption road earlier, or go for it if your hormones are still fine.

Look at when your Mum had her menopause, and look at your life expectancy too - if there's a family history of keeling over at 55, then it's not really fair on any potential kids is it?

See, in an ideal world, even before conception you need to do what's best for the child.

Sit down and talk to yourhubby, talk through what would happen if you struggled to conceive, would you go for IVF, how would you fund it, how long for etc, would you want to try for adoption, what would happen if your amnio test camme back with a high risk of down's, what if it didn't and the child had other requirements, could you cope, are you both fit etc?

The list is endless really, if you're both strong enough physically and emotionally then what's stopping you?;)

Good Luck, whatever you decide.

ladypinkof66

Loretta wrote: »

My mother in law was 53 when she had my husband, her 12th child and he was a great uncle as soon as he was born. She died when she was 96 so she was around for him and her masses of grandchildren, my youngest son is the 62nd, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren etc. She was very wise and a great mother in law and Nan and I know none of us would have managed without her, I only had 3 and couldn't manage!

You don't know what is around the corner in life just go for it, don't worry about what anyone thinks, all a child needs is love

Gosh did she manage to conceive with her own eggs at 53 ? There might be some hope for me and others yet.

poet123

I had my last child at 38, so not too far removed from your age. He was the easiest baby of them all, I approached it with trepidation (he was a surprise!) but we have enjoyed every moment of his life so far, he is a joy, to us, and to his doting brothers. We actually have to prise him out of the house in school holidays because they entertain him so well! Th eldest at 25 has even been mistaken for his Dad when he took him to a sports fixture....(he was none too pleased about that though!)

So, I would say go for it,if it is right it will happen, you will be tired, but you could just as easily be tired from working long hours. Good luck!

laurel7172

Nothing, absolutely nothing, gives a child a better start than to be loved and wanted. Older parents/younger parents/working mum/sahm-they're just side issues. They don't really matter.

The law of averages applies to all parents-a child would be extremely unfortunate to lose both parents young, but it happens. It happens to children born in their parents' twenties. At 43, you're probably good for another 40 years yet, so I wouldn't choose not to have a child on that basis.

There's no need to worry too much about details, because a loved child isn't going to regret being born because s/he has no cousins. S/he will make their own family and network of friends, as you and your DH have done.

Do what is right for you-it sounds as if you deserve it-and everything else will fall into place. I wish you luck and contentment, whatever path you choose. X

ben500

"Is 43 too old for a baby"

Yes definately, 43 is an adult.

GFN123

I don't think 43 is too old at all. What a child needs is to be loved and wanted.

I come from a family with a situation like you describe. My parents were aged 36 and 48 when I was born, both sets of their parents were long gone, and I am an only child with no grandparents, no aunts or uncles, cousins or anything else. Do I love my little family and have I had a great life & upbringing? Absolutely!

My parents age and all they have experienced in life has always been a huge bonus, I don't miss family that I don't have, and I have a very close circle of 'second family' around me. I know how much I was wanted, and I have always relished being the only child!

Given how much thought you have put in, I think you would make wonderful parents & I hope you are able to have the child(ren) you want I wish more people would genuinely question themselves before having children.

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Whatever feels right go for it. We never know what's around the corner. My mum-in-law had my husband when she was 40. I am 41 and going for a second IVF cycle. If it happens then its meant to be. People are so judgemental about this. Yes some are lucky to meet someone early in life and have children but not everything works out that way. Age does not come into it because we can all die at any time or get terrible diseases.
Good luck I wish you all the best.

Tigsteroonie

Marley and I have just had our first baby at 40, so we'll probably be around 42 or 43 if/when we have a second child. Other than pointing out increased health risks, my midwives and doctor have never treated me as "older". I say go for it

Natalie6999

No 43 isn't too old, I'm 43 & still trying for another child.

I know someone who at 49 thought she was menopausal but was actually 3 months pregnant, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl & says she is finding it easier than when she had her 2 older children 22 & 24 years ago, she was breezing round the supermarket 2 days after giving birth looking healthier & happier than anyone I know.

If it's what you want, go for it.

skintchick

How old is your OH? Personally I think it is too old for a woman to have children, but then I've just had a baby at 34 and my OH is 42, so that's sexist I guess. If your OH is a similar age then I'd say maybe it's OK but if he is 10 years older then no, because there does come a point where it is selfish to have a child and then be too old to do stuff with it properly (and let's face it we all slow down as we get older, I'm not as sprightly as I was in my 20s).