Is 43 too old for a baby

Sam-Barr

This may not be of any help but I'd like to share it with you.
My mam gave birth to me when she was 42, I was a little surprise for my mam and da after they had fallen out for many years and decided to reconcile and have a celebratory shag lol! Out popped me, then when I was 8 my da had three heart attacks and died, then when I was 11 my mam lost her battle against lung cancer. Must admit though they were both the smoke-like-chimney, drink-like-fish type...
I was brought up then by my family, which consisted of 3 brothers and a sister, all with at least 3 kids each of their own (I'm an auntie to a lot of kids the same age as me, its weird haha). Even though I miss my parents I have turned out pretty well.

What I am really trying to say here is, well, go for it, as long as you know your child has support if anything happens.

[Deleted User]

mark88man wrote: »

no way would anyone ever want a teenager ever, but it happens somewhere between adorable and sensible

most definitely not at 60. We are enjoying life now as a couple and our adult children are all happy in their own little families

energy levels do change in your 60s, believe me

Broken_hearted

Both my partner and I had older parents we would have preffered younger ones. I amin my 30's and teenagers are hardwork at 60 there is no way I could keep up with him.

nottslass_2

Hi I'm 25 weeks PG and due to give birth a week before my 42nd birthday.

I don't feel any older than when I was 18 and due to give birth to DS1,who's now 23 !!!

Yes,i have aches and pains & expect the night feeds will leave me me with bags under my eyes and I'm sure that running after a lively toddler and coping with the "terrible two's" will leave me pulling my hair out and ready for bed at 9pm !!!
BUT so did all these things aged 20 !!!

Oh,and I'm sure that by the time this child is a teenager they'll think I'm on another planet (& vice versa) but then again so did DS1 and I was only in my (very) early 30's then.lol

I'd say go for it - Parent hood is full of surprises, you never know what challenges its going to throw at you,maybe they'll be things a 20 year old can handle better than a 40 (something) can and they'll be other times where maturity is a distinct advantage,but mostly you'll find that being a good parent has absolutely nothing to do with age and your child will feel the same way !!!!

Js_Other_Half

At any playgroup/class we attend there are any number of mothers who are in their late 30s onwards. I know DS could be an only child, hence me encouraging other relationships such as Godparents children, cousins, etc.

There are always going to be pros and cons for any decision, but as has already been said, get yourself checked out to see if it's possible, start taking folic acid, reduce your caffeine intake, move to lukewarm baths or showers, and the best of luck to you !

blackcoffee

from witnessing a mil with an unplanned number 3 when she was 45 I'd say you are too old. But that is only my opinion in amongst lots more go for its, at the end of the day Id rather see a baby go to a mum and dad who wanted it,to a homewhere it would get much love.

My only concern would be she/he may end up being an only, lonely child, who will one day become primary carer, and I know that is an awful thing to think.

My mil at 57, is exhausted, and is honestly miserable, she is now at a place in her life that she hadnt planned, they have expenses that they hadnt anticipated at thier age, while thier friends are looking forward to retirement, they are contemplating school & university fee's, they mix with people thier age, (thier children are all grown up and most are grandparents) so thier number 3 is very lonely.

Number 3 hasnt a clue how to mix with children her age, as her out of school time is spent with her parents and adults, she is naturally a loner and isnt overly sociable in school, her mother has never mixed with mums at school as she doesnt feel comfortable.

I could go on and on!!!!

inkie

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loretta
My mother in law was 53 when she had my husband, her 12th child and he was a great uncle as soon as he was born. She died when she was 96 so she was around for him and her masses of grandchildren, my youngest son is the 62nd, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren etc. She was very wise and a great mother in law and Nan and I know none of us would have managed without her, I only had 3 and couldn't manage!

You don't know what is around the corner in life just go for it, don't worry about what anyone thinks, all a child needs is love

Gosh did she manage to conceive with her own eggs at 53 ? There might be some hope for me and others yet.

She must have done - it would have been well before the days of IVF

inkie

I am just 38 and would not like to think that I was starting again with babies at the stage. I'm a midwife and have looked after several older mums. Many times they themselves say that they find it a struggle physically. Your fertility will be reduced, and so you may be looking even beyond 43. Best thing is to go and have a talk with your GP and take it from there.

Reds-on-Sea

I think you should go for it. My mum was 33 when she had me, but my dad was 54. Sounds like you'll make an amazing mum! do it! x

AbFab

blackcoffee wrote: »

from witnessing a mil with an unplanned number 3 when she was 45 I'd say you are too old. ...

But that's different to the OP - they really want this child(ren). It's also different because they haven't already been there done that and are exhausted from already having had a couple of now-older children.

Lots of 43-year-olds are plenty fitter and healthier than many younger girls in their twenties.

OP (and others ttc), good luck, hope if it is meant to be, you get pregnant soon.