Unhappy and depressed, dont know if i can do this, but have no choice

icecube2009

newlywed wrote: »

You need to read them through all of your up to date figures. They will ask for all of them but don't ask for any proof of change of bills etc.

ok just trying to update it all, a few things have changes, my son now has bus fares too, whereas it was only my dughter before, gas/electric gone up by £40 (but hoping to get that down again) then the cut in working hours, will keep you posted

mumslave

Hi there, I am new to posting on the boards I hope you dont mind me replying. I am also on a DMP with payplan, we started in april last year, though our debts are lower than yours. I am also a mum to three under five and one on the way. I just wanted to say, you have done SO well to get out of the credit card vicious circle, I remember feeling the way you did a few months into our DMP, with every spare money going towards it, it does feel almost as though you were better off without the DMP, just for quality of life. One thing it helps me to remember, is that the situation you are in now, is more than likely not the situation you will be in, over the next ten years. Things can and do change, perhaps you will get more hours some day, or a change of job, there are lots of possibilities. It sometimes feels to me, that life is going to be a struggle everyday for the next 7 years of our DMP, but thats forgetting the bigger picture. You have taken responsibility and are paying off your debts, you are setting a wonderful example to your children by doing so. Be proud and keep your chin up, you never know whats round that corner.

newlywed

CCCS will be fine. If it's all income and essential bills changing then there's not much the creditors can do.

If you were trying to put down new car finance or add gym membership or increase sky or something, it would be different.

Don't forget to add a little bit extra on to you figures if you can so that you are covered if petrol/food rises next month

shrimpy_80

Hi, no advice to add as there are many more knowledgeable posters than me here already, but didn't want to read this and run.

Don't feel bad about reducing your payments to creditors, your circumstances have changed and you have less to spare, that is that. You never know what is around the corner, you may well be able to increase payments again in the future, the main thing is the well being of you and your family in the present.

Your employer sounds horrendous, you have already had advice here also, do keep searching around for a new job, it is hard going at the moment but there WILL be something better out there for you, so stick with it.

Lastly you mentioned seeing the doctor near the start of the thread, I hope that you do this, your health is irreplaceable and way more important to your family than any treats, so please please look after yourself. You have taken on a lot so don't feel that you cannot ask for help.

I wil be thinking of you and hope and believe that you will be feeling positive again soon, please keep posting x

System

Just typed a long post and lost it grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ANyway, you must reduce your payments, regardless of the whys and wherefores of getting into debt and how you repay it is actually quite immaterial. Lenders have been irresonsible, taking unneccasry risks by lending more and more money to you and I. You don't give more drugs to a drug user and you don't give more booze to an alcoholic. It is now, more than ever very important for Creditors to recoup their money. If CCCS won't entertain you consider switching to Payplan. Has anyone suggested an IVA or Bankruptcy an option (I ask because I don't know).

Remember remember remember, its only money, its not a terminal illness, you have so much in your life to live for (if only I could remember this every day) Take care. Len

WASHER

Well said lennymof, I will say it again, its only money,

Do phone the CCCS, they will want to help you.

As for your shopping bill, Loo rolls etc, Tesco value ones are actually very good for the price, I think they are £1.45 for 12. Tesco Value washing powder is fine too, a huge box is approx £1.64, you can buy a nice smelling wee box of whatever is on offer and mix it in together.

As for cleaning stuff, if you buy trigger kitchen cleaner etc, keep an empty bottle of the same type and when you purchase a new one, pour half into the empty bottle and top each up with water...two for the price of one.

Have a look at the Old Style board for tips on saving money, I have tried many of the tips and I've saved quite a lot of money by taking some of the advice of the lovely OS ladies.

Another tip I picked up, is when you cook a chilli or bolognese sauce etc, keep a portion back and freeze it in an old marg tub, if you do this over a couple of meals, you will have in effect one meal free.

I know it all takes time and effort, and I know you have lots on your mind at the moment with money etc, but honestly if you get on that OS board,you will never look back and you may find yourself with a wee bit of spare cash to treat the kids and yourself.

milliemonster

Hi Icecube

I haven't been on a DMP myself but I just wanted to say please please talk to CCCS, can you also not ask for your CCCS payment date to change to a later date in the month so if you do get paid a few days late again you won't incur bank charges?

I know 10 years does sound a long time, but then I think what you need is a realistic liveable budget that allows you a bit of leeway for unexpected bills and just to have a bit of a life whilst still paying something towards your debt.

At the end of the day you need to be able to get on with your life now and almost forget about the DMP payment each month, letting that take care of itself, but by being so worried about how long its going to take is taking the focus off what is really important, ie, you and your family and enjoying your children while they are still young and at home.

Unfortunately this means getting the balance between the DMP being realistic so you can still have a life but it taking longer to pay off or keeping it as it is but having all these feelings of guilt and worry about not being able to stick within your new budget and being able to provide for your kids.

Yes the alternative may have been to carry on struggling with the debt but then your DFD would be when? 15, 20 years? and during that time the total would probably still be going up and up.

I think you just need to readjust your DMP, forget about how long its going to take to pay it off, when I look back at what I was earning 10 years ago to what I am earning now it is very different! so a lot can happen in this next 10 years for you. But what is important is the here and now, it's only money and god forbid you may not even be here in 5 years time so you need to have some allowance in your budget to give you your life back

icecube2009

Thanks you to everyone for your help & advice on this, I have called & gone through my budget & i have £100 less available that on the previous debt remedy, so she looked at reducing my monthly payment to £311, then she also said the £10 a month we had down for sports & entertainment was very low so we agreed to add £11 to that making that £21 & getting the payment down to £300, so my new estimated time for this to be all cleared by is 13 years 4 months, don't sound much worse that ten years does it!!
And I feel a whole lot better too!!
Thanks you all again so much, its so nice have people to 'talk'to who know what I am going through, as I dont have anyone else to confide in x

System

Well done Ice cube and glad you're feeling better.

WorriedofSurrey

Hi Icecube

Just wanted to check on you. I'm so glad you have rung them, well done.

WoS