Unhappy and depressed, dont know if i can do this, but have no choice

munkiemunkie81

I know how that feels!!! Hope he gets his head out of the sand soon.
I owe similar to you - probably over 8 years - my son will be 10 then! I can't quite get my head around that. But I know it will be paid off eventually and in the meantime I WILL manage, I won't let myself be put in the same situation again (with men or money!). I'm hoping to reduce my years eventually, up my payments gradually - it has to work out doesn't it!!

Please just call CCCS

stoocake

Congratulations on handing out to your daughter though! It's one of those decisions that you'll probably regret either way, but being able to continue to provide for your family in whatever small ways possible will undoubtedly help you in the long term - it doesn't sound like you've gone over board by any means with regards to that, so don't regret it at all.

Like the others have said, the pain you're feeling right now will fade away once the initial shock has gone, and you'll be able to take more control of the situation. You're not a failure - you've done all the right things all along, and other things out of your control have happened to put you back a couple of steps.

Here's a faceless internet hug to help you through the day a little.

icecube2009

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Hi, sorry to hear things are so grim for you right now. Surely your DMP is curretnly set to run for 10 years based on your current income ? You never know what's around the corner, so you might be able to increase your payments at some point & it will take less time. As to your children, I have a very strict policy that the amount of Child Benefit I receive goes towards anything my DD needs. It is paid into a a separate account & used for any clubs, trips, hobbies or clothes / shoes she may need. I therefore allow £20 a week towards any of her needs other than food. It may not work for you but it has certainly helped me feel that she still gets some treats.

Best wishes & dont despair, I'm sure you're are just feeling the reality hitting after the initial relief & will soon settle into a routine & even find more ways to save / earn extra money.

Lula
xx[/QUO

my child benefit it just included in income & goes towards the dmp paymets or whatever

icecube2009

misspoppy wrote: »

Hi

If your wages were late your employer should refund the charges, speak to them and explain whats happened.

You do need to speak to your DMP people things shouldn't be as tight as this.

my wages were also late a few months ago & they did agree to refund the charges then and say they wont do it again, my employer is awful. I luckily have never been paid more than a few days late but before I started she went away on holiday & made everyone wait till she got back to be paid so they were all paid 2 weeks late!

I work in a nursery, its a nightmare, if some children call in sick & we are over staffed someone gets sent hom so not paid (yet she still gets paid for the sick children) the other month she stopped £30 each from our wages to pay for toys that had been broken or gone missing.

WorriedofSurrey

Hi IceCube

I was going to say the same as Lula-Hula, it is 10 years now, but your situation may well improve over the course of that time and you will be able to put more towards your debts then.

When I reduced mine the creditors were fine. I was paying around a thousand a month and reduced to £800 per month which seems a lot but then my debts are much higher than yours, so it is all relative.

And last month I reduced the payment for one month only as we had a £700 car bill to pay. I sent a letter to all of the creditors with a copy of the receipt explaining that they would not get their usual payment this month, but considerably less.

Please call CCCS, I am sure they will help you.

WoS

icecube2009

munkiemunkie81 wrote: »

I know how that feels!!! Hope he gets his head out of the sand soon.
I owe similar to you - probably over 8 years - my son will be 10 then! I can't quite get my head around that. But I know it will be paid off eventually and in the meantime I WILL manage, I won't let myself be put in the same situation again (with men or money!). I'm hoping to reduce my years eventually, up my payments gradually - it has to work out doesn't it!!

Please just call CCCS

at the moment my dmp will run ten years my children will be 21 & 24 by then & I will be 53! once I am debt free and can afford things my children will be earning their own money (hopefully) and wont need me!
Can i speak to the cccs on my own or does it need DH to be here too (as we have gone into it as a joint thing?)

icecube2009

When we did our initial on line debt remedy we put down some additional expenses & it came up with a monthly payment figure of considerably less but advised me go on a iva, so we tweaked it, and got a figure of £350 a month but it said this was a low start dmp, and i was advised by a few people on these forums to try not to do a low start one so we tweaked it even more!

WorriedofSurrey

icecube2009 wrote: »

at the moment my dmp will run ten years my children will be 21 & 24 by then & I will be 53! once I am debt free and can afford things my children will be earning their own money (hopefully) and wont need me!
Can i speak to the cccs on my own or does it need DH to be here too (as we have gone into it as a joint thing?)

No you don't need your SH there too, either of you can talk to them.

Go do it - now!!!!

ps Ive got 4 kids too, I do understand, but get yourself back on track, and you will feel positive again and much much happier.

Best wishes
WoS

HHH_2

I would seriously think about looking for a new job if you are being paid late. also look at your rights regarding paying for broken equiment I am sure this is illegal and I am a day nursery manager! As regards CCCS dont worry about the length of time your dmp will last mine started at 22 years but has gone down as things improve and a little more money is available. the trick is to leave enough in your budget to live a resonable life and that includes buying your daugter trainers and school trips. please talk to CCCS as soon as possible and alter your dmp payments.

WorriedofSurrey

Hi again

I agree with HHH, you need to be able to balance your debt repayments with having a life otherwise the DMP will fail. Once you have the balance right you can relax a little.

Also agree about getting another job. I know that is easier said than done, but your boss sounds totally unreasonable.

WoS