Unhappy and depressed, dont know if i can do this, but have no choice

icecube2009

We went on a dmp in June with debts of £49k, first few months were fine felt like a weight lifted, but my hours have been cut at work and a few of our bills have gone up, we have no money left at all at the end of the month, we never eat out, in fact by the end of the month are struggling to eat at all, never go out, i bought my son a pair of football boots (which he needed for school) £20 last month, that was it, my daughter also needed trainers but had to buy them herself as I just didnt have the money.
I feel so unhappy, worse than I felt before the DMP started, I feel like I am letting my kids down, they can never go out with school friends (they are 14 & 11 by the way) as we just cant afford it. I wish I had struggled on juggling credit cards for a few more years just till the kids were older.
Last month I was paid late, so my CCCS direct debit got returned & I got £30 bank charges. Car tax due this month, and should have been ok but due to those bank charges we now wont have the money for it unless me scrimp even more on food (and its bad enough as it is, i spend between £45 & £50 a week on food and its tough with the 4 of us & the kids eating like adults now!)
I am hoping we will be able to take a mortgage payment holiday in December just to pay for christmas & put a couple of hundred in the bank 'just in case' but if they wont let us do that my children will have no christmas presents.
I sit every day and try & think of a way out, its never off my mind, I really dont know what to do.

stoocake

Sorry to hear about your situation, and hopefully someone with more experience will be along to help shortly. All I can say is that it's surprising how quickly your mood can change with regard to finances, so hopefully you'll start to claw back some ground and a lot of weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

munkiemunkie81

Have you called CCCS and told them about your pay reduction and bill increases? Give them a call they should be able to go through your budget again and figure out new payment proposals to your creditors.
Fact is - your circumstances have changed.

Also speak to your bank and ask them to refund the charges based on your pay being late - you couldnt of helped that, hopefully they will and you have your car tax money back then.

icecube2009

stoocake wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your situation, and hopefully someone with more experience will be along to help shortly. All I can say is that it's surprising how quickly your mood can change with regard to finances, so hopefully you'll start to claw back some ground and a lot of weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

I know what your saying, before we went on a dmp we were really struggling borrowing from one card to pay another etc having to use cards tp buy food as no money left, but at least when the kids needed clothes etc we had those cards to use even if it was mounting up the debt. When we went on a dmp i was so happy to be finally getting sorted, but now I feel like a faliure, my daughter came home with a letter about a school theatre trip yesterday but said she understood we couldnt afford for her to go (£15 blood brothers) I burst into tears (am crying now too) I wrote her the cheque this morning, hubby furious, I dont care if i cant eat or if hubby doesnt speak to me, i cant deprive my kids of everything.
I feel so much worse now that I did before we started all this, I have a doctors appointment on friday to see if I can get anything to help me cope.

WorriedofSurrey

Hi Icecube

I am sorry to hear things aren't so good at the moment.

Have you spoken to CCCS? I started my DMP in June and like you felt great straight away, then after a couple of months found that we couldn't cope on what we were left with. I rang them and we looked at the budget and I reduced my monthly payment to them by around £200 each month. I think I was so keen to pay everything back as soon as possible, that I was unrealistic in our budget. Obviously the debt will take longer to pay back, but we really needed that extra just to live properly, nothing extravagant, just to be able to eat, get petrol etc in that last week of the month!

It is worth calling them. Hope things pick up for you.

Best wishes
WoS

icecube2009

munkiemunkie81 wrote: »

Have you called CCCS and told them about your pay reduction and bill increases? Give them a call they should be able to go through your budget again and figure out new payment proposals to your creditors.
Fact is - your circumstances have changed.

Also speak to your bank and ask them to refund the charges based on your pay being late - you couldnt of helped that, hopefully they will and you have your car tax money back then.

I am due a review with the cccs, but as it stands my dmp will last ten years, i didnt want to make it even longer than that! and how would my creditors feel about reduced payments after just a few months?

I have called the bank & they refuse to refund the charge

icecube2009

WorriedofSurrey wrote: »

Hi Icecube

I am sorry to hear things aren't so good at the moment.

Have you spoken to CCCS? I started my DMP in June and like you felt great straight away, then after a couple of months found that we couldn't cope on what we were left with. I rang them and we looked at the budget and I reduced my monthly payment to them by around £200 each month. I think I was so keen to pay everything back as soon as possible, that I was unrealistic in our budget. Obviously the debt will take longer to pay back, but we really needed that extra just to live properly, nothing extravagant, just to be able to eat, get petrol etc in that last week of the month!

It is worth calling them. Hope things pick up for you.

Best wishes
WoS

I just didnt want my dmp to go on any longer than the ten years! our debt is £49k (and has gone up slightly due to interest & charges) and we only pay £411 now. I read on here about people who pay a lot more than that for a lot less debt, rarely anyone whose dmp will last as long as ours & feel like I am going to be stuck with this debt for ever!!

munkiemunkie81

Just because they have scheduled reviews it doesnt mean you can't change things in the mean time.

TBH you are very depressed about how your situation is at the moment - unable to buy food etc - Doesn't fixing that mean more than a few more years on your DMP? The reduced payments aren't set in stone forever they are just helping you to get through NOW.



In the mean time you could look for more hours of work and aim to up your payments in time.

icecube2009

munkiemunkie81 wrote: »

Just because they have scheduled reviews it doesnt mean you can't change things in the mean time.

TBH you are very depressed about how your situation is at the moment - unable to buy food etc - Doesn't fixing that mean more than a few more years on your DMP? The reduced payments aren't set in stone forever they are just helping you to get through NOW.



In the mean time you could look for more hours of work and aim to up your payments in time.

yes i suppose a few more years wouldnt hurt. It doesnt help that i dont get much support from dh (and the debt is more his than mine) i talked him into the dmp, i set everything up, I try to talk to him & he just says 'we will be ok, dont worry'.
I have even considered these last few days splitting up with him and making him take his share of the debt with him, as it would probably make life easier! how terrible is that!

Lula-Hula

Hi, sorry to hear things are so grim for you right now. Surely your DMP is curretnly set to run for 10 years based on your current income ? You never know what's around the corner, so you might be able to increase your payments at some point & it will take less time. As to your children, I have a very strict policy that the amount of Child Benefit I receive goes towards anything my DD needs. It is paid into a a separate account & used for any clubs, trips, hobbies or clothes / shoes she may need. I therefore allow £20 a week towards any of her needs other than food. It may not work for you but it has certainly helped me feel that she still gets some treats.

Best wishes & dont despair, I'm sure you're are just feeling the reality hitting after the initial relief & will soon settle into a routine & even find more ways to save / earn extra money.

Lula
xx

misspoppy

Hi

If your wages were late your employer should refund the charges, speak to them and explain whats happened.

You do need to speak to your DMP people things shouldn't be as tight as this.