Has anyone had any Where are you spending Christmas arguments yet?

swampduck

A few years ago I worked with a lady who had never in 25 years of marriage had Christmas at home with her husband and daughter. They always went to her mothers' which meant that hubby couldnt have a drink and inevitably they had to troop back home when the day was over and done with.
We were chatting one day when I said I was amazed that she'd never put her foot down and upset the family. What if anything happened to her or her hubby and they had regrets that they had never had a crimbo in their own home?
She discussed it with her hubby and they jointly put their foot down and said they were staying home and all were welcome to join them on Xmas Day and they had room for those that wanted to stay. Well they had Xmas at home and loved it and had a wonderful time and with all the comings and goings of family they had a christmas fest that lasted for 4 days!
And how glad am I that they did cos her hubby passed on in his sleep six months later and he was only 54.
She said to me that she was so glad that they had one wonderful xmas at home because it gave her such lovely memories and her hubby had loved cooking for everyone.
Sometimes you have to be selfish and this was proved to be true but I wish he'd lived to enjoy more Christmasses in the way he would have liked - what an unselfish man to give 25 years worth of crimbos to keep his wife's family happy?
But back to the original question - since I split with my ex-hubby and had my first christmas waking up without my kids - I drove 250 miles to stay with my aunts overnight and then drove another 70 miles to see my children on Xmas morning and my exhubby would not allow me in the house. So I spent a few hours unwrapping pressies, giggling, eating sweets and generally having fun in the local car park!! Then drove 120 miles for Xmas dinner at my sisters' before drivin the other 200 miles on Boxing Day back to my partner.
Now my kids aged 24 and 21 insist on spending Crimbo with me and my partner even though my son lives with his Dad. But even then we are very relaxed - we have grandkids now and drive around to see them all before relaxing at home with whatever remains of xmas day with open house on Boxing day for anyone who wants to visit us. Make time for people but dont be a slave to them - 9 weeks to go!!!!!!


Swampy

red_devil

well hows it going all sorted now:D;)

Skint_Catt

This year will be my first ever Xmas Day away from my parents and I'm devastated!




I'm 32 :rolleyes:

Zozo1985

I am splitting xmas this year with my family and my boyfriends family. It is the first xmas where I have not had my mum or nans xmas dinner though!! Think I am gonna miss it badly!!! It is the best! lol

We're going up to my mums on xmas morning til dinner time and then heading down to a local restaurant to spend the rest of the day with his family. Felt like I wasn't giving my mum enough xmas day time so we're also going out for a meal xmas eve with my mum and partner.

Then I have to fit my dads family in somewhere too!! Its hard work pleasing everyone at xmas! lol

kitka

Go away for christmas and new year, i did it last year, was great fun, puts a stop to hearing the arguments..lol :beer:

shazrobo

after this reading this thread, i'm happier knowing that i am not the only one spending christmas without their boyfriend. we've been together just over a year, but do not live together, he has decided to go to his parents on xmas day as he always has. i on the other hand will have xmas dinner at home with my kids, then visit my parents in the afternoon

flybynight

there definately seems to be more females bothered about spending christmas with their family than males, i wonder if its coz they get nagged more, or if lads jsut arent as bothered. most of these threads seem to be "we are going to my mum / nan / aunt and then we will go see husband boyfriends parents the day after because i couldn't bear to not see my mum on christmas day".

pukkamum

The problems have just started here.

We spent the first four years of ds's xmas's going over to my sisters to spend the day with her OH's family and my mum sister etc.

However the older DS got the harder this became as he just wanted to stay at home with all his pressies, add into that a very frail woman (Sis's OH's mum) complaining about DS's noise making and i refused to do it anymore.

I never had to tell my family this as my sis split up with OH and went to Oz with her new BF the following xmas.

We stayed at home, my mum and her OH came round and it was bliss!!!

The year after sister had a baby and they decided to go away for xmas fair enough another year of peace only this time other sis was here too, still bliss.

THIS year i have made it clear that we will be spending xmas at home and i am not bothered about where mum and other sis go (we've had them for two years) so told my elder sis if she wanted to invite them no prob i would n't be bothered.
Sis lives an hour away and my mum works on xmas day til 3 so elder sis said she wasn't willing to wait til mum got there for her dinner so okay i thought.

Don't get me wrong i would be more than happy to have everyone here but i just can't seat ten people for dinner!!!!

Just got an email from elder sis saying how upset she is at the thought of us all having xmas dinner together and her family being alone.

I feel really bad and i know she wants us all to go to her but i just don't want to do it!!!!

Am i being really selfish????

tsstss7

red_devil wrote: »

Have the arrangements for where you spend it and with whom started yet? Any fallouts?

We're ok we know exactly what we are doing and who will be there and its been that way for some time now?

Is it a nightmare trying to please your family at Christmas?

yes YES YES

Always a bloody nightmare!!!!:mad::eek:

Tizz

Its reading other peoples trials and tribulations that makes me really appreciate how relaxed mine and DHs family are. DHs parents are sadly no longer with us, and things are different as a result, but they were never difficult. We had a flexible one year with DHs family next year with mine, now its usually at our house because we can offer beds and seats in numbers. We can end up with just OHs family if my parents are going to one of my brothers, just my family if OHs family are going to his sisters in Yorkshire or a complete mix, both families get on famously. Everyones welcome - in the past we have had my brothers in-laws and regularly have my OHs brothers MIL! can be 20 or 22 people if you count children.Just a small gathering this year me and OH, our teenage daughters, my parents, my brother and his wife and two littlies.

Best memory is my OHs 80 yr old father and 90 year old uncle sitting in the jacuzzi with a glass of champagne on Christmas day, it was like that film Cocoon! Love my family!