Has anyone had any Where are you spending Christmas arguments yet?

red_devil

Have the arrangements for where you spend it and with whom started yet? Any fallouts?

We're ok we know exactly what we are doing and who will be there and its been that way for some time now?

Is it a nightmare trying to please your family at Christmas?

princessamy86

We're going to OH's family for the first year ever, and I'm cooking! (I must be a brave lady) My mum's a bit upset, but I suppose it will just have to be done alternately to be fair. Not had a row as such, just OH said he didn't want to be at my family's again, although I feel a bit mean on my family as we will be staying at in laws on Christmas Eve and waking up with them, only gives my family a few hours in the morning before I'll have to get back and start cooking. However, my mum does not live within walking distance of the pub

maggied_2

Just waiting for this at the moment - OH's X is being a right old nightmare and OH hasn't yet had a reply about Christmas yet.

What do other people do about Christmas when parents are separated?

OH has an 8 yo DD and the set up used to be that he and X would do alternate Christmas days and then DD would go to the other's house at 5 pm and stay Christmas night and Boxing Day. Whoever didn't have her on Christmas day would pop in to the other's on Christmas morning.

However things are now rather 'strained' (my fault apparently) - X managed to completely ruin my Christmas last year by calling constantly and telling OH that I had ruined her mother's Christmas by not letting her in our house (extremely good reasons for that!).

Also by 5pm DD is shattered and then has to go through opening another family's presents all over again with limited enthusiasm!

OH has suggested that they do Christmas Day / Boxing Day without the crossover in the evening so we could have a second 'Christmas Day' on Boxing Day where we're not all shattered. Also that way we could see my family on Christmas day and then invite everyone to ours on Boxing Day. I can see the X going for it this year (she has DD Christmas Day) but not next.....

chatnoir

gonna be a nightmare me thinks.
Me and OH take it turns with each others parents...and this year its my families turn ...easy so far
But we usually go to my stepdads family and we have a big family do spanning a few days...my mum and stepdad go there everyear regardless of where me and OH go. But this year mum has said she wants xmas at home as they are selling the house. She has said it since last xmas and been saying it all year but don;t think my stepdad will be to pleased as he likes to have lots of people about and play the silly games. so think it will be a bit of a battle!

RachelW1987

We always go to my Grandma's as i'm an only child whereas OH has a brother and sister and they have 4 kids between them

I couldn't spend Xmas else where it wouldnt be Xmas

borokat

This does my head in. I've been with my OH since June 2004 and we bought a flat together 3 years ago. We live in a different city to our parents, his are 2hrs away mine 1hr. We have never woken up together on Christmas morning. The arrangement is that he goes to his family on 23rd/24th and then drives up to my family on Christmas Day after dinner. Some years I haven't actually seen his family over the Christmas period. We always spend New Year with friends based in our own home. This year he's going to do the usual drive up Xmas day then Boxing Day we are going to his family for a night and then the next day going for a short break (our present to each other). It's ok, I guess, but I really miss not having him around on Christmas Day and I HATE waiting for him to turn up - once it gets past 6pm I start thinking whats the point. Plus not great for him having to drive on Christmas Day, I wouldn't want to do it. Luckily no kids yet - I think when that happens I will be staying in my own home.

Gavin83

We're spending it with my family this year. My girlfriend isn't overjoyed by this idea and it'll be her first christmas away from her family, but we spent it at her family home last year so it's only fair.

BenL

I am going to my parents house, g/f is coming with me. Its about 70 miles from home so we will go 24th - 26th. Her daughter (3) is with her dad over xmas this year so the 3 of us are going all inclusive to Morocco the week before xmas and not really doing presents as she has enough already at home.

delain

My mum wants to do christmas this year. Hopefully it will not be a total disaster like it was when i was a kid :eek: but she has calmed down a lot now.

I know OH will have christmas morning here then off to mums for dinner.

In my house and around my kids alcohol is banned at christmas, because i've never forgotten mum's ex puking up in the sink on christmas morning or my mum throwing (unwrapped) presents at me after locking me out on christmas eve when i was 11! Of course they were all sorry when sobered up :rolleyes:

My motto: you want to get drunk at christmas, do it somewhere well away from me!

OH doesn't quite understand it.

I don't know if he will come to my mum's for dinner or go see his other LO.

grastgirl

It can be such a tricky one, but I think for adults, their parents have to realise they are adults with their own lives, difficult as this must be. When exes are involved I'm sure it's really hard, but not sure it has to be, we always had 2 Christmas days, Dad magnanimously let Mum have every actual Christmas Day as she was more into it than he was. We have been doing alternate parents houses, although this year may be our last, seeing as we're getting married next year and I like the idea of spending our first Christmas together. We have changed the order once when my Grandad died, so we did dinner and Mum came to us to reduce the sad memories, I think we might be doing it for OH's mum next year unfortunately. Thankfully we've always had good family relationships, where seeing us was more important than which specific day it was.

MrsPorridge

three years ago we took a big decision and "bucked the trend" and went abroad for Christmas, just DH DS and me. No other family - IT WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS I EVER Had in almost 20 years of marriage! Now we always go away.