I finally did it...

CosmoCat

LookingAhead wrote:

melabarrie I just wanted to add my two penneths worth and say that I am really pleased that you didn't go for the audition, I think that was an extremely brave thing to do.

Also, I sponsor a little boy too in India and I have always said I would have to be virtually homeless myself before giving up sponsoring him. Whatever we go through is nothing compared to these innocent little 'uns eh?

Lots of support coming your way from me! xx

thank you for your support, it is thoroughly appreciated.:D

i know what you mean about sponsoring. it is such a wonderful feeling to know that you can do a little which goes a long way for these little angels. i put myself in the financial situation that i'm in, he did nothing to deserve the terrible situation that he's in. i'm glad you sponsor too. i wish i could encourage more people to do it!

On another note, I've got a little extra job tomorrow, so that will bring in some much needed extra dosh. more for the brcly card!!

lynzpower

Excellent :T

LookingAhead

Good work!

CosmoCat

my old habits jumped up and bit me in the a** tonight!!

i went to a party last night, spent £3 (hubby treated me, so all i did was spend for transport). went to do the job today - didn't pack a lunch, spent £7 on lunch, £2 transport, then went and spent £46!!!! on a round of drinks!!!!!

i'm sooooooooooooo stupid! i just got caught up in seeing everybody and i missed everybody so much that i just was so stupid about the whole thing. when i paid it, i got immediate remorse and just had to come home (we were out in one of those late night places, so could have been out all night). i'm mortified that i can't yet be trusted to even leave the house and be with my old mates.

i feel like such an a**e!

and deserve every bit of beating that i get.

no wonder i'm in debt!!

i feel like such a fool

(on the plus side, got a cheque for over £2000 today - a bonus from the old job - so that's going on the debt. also haven't worked out yet what i'll get paid for today so that will go on the debt too)

i still feel like such an idiot for being such an idiot!!!!!!!

Sea78

Hey,

don't be too hard on yourself - I bet before lightbulb you would have done that and then done it again at least once in the b=night and then got taxi, food, lost money in drunken stupor (why is it that whenever I used to go on a night out I woul dwake up and there would be NO money in my purse? Not even pennies???). So you have got better.

Yes, it was a waste of money, but you'll now be even more focussed. We all do it (well, most of us!! ). I have on clothes for the children.

Now just work out where you £2000 would be best off. I bet that before you might have just spent that on stuff, not on debts, so you are doing so well. You spent it now, so don't keep revisiting it. Its done...concentrate on all the good things you've done and how muchmoney you've saved.

Sea xx

CosmoCat

i can't help it!

even this morning i feel like an idiot!

LookingAhead

Hey melabarrie, stop beating yourself up now and calling yourself stupid. You are not stupid.

You fell off the wagon. End of.

You aren't the first and you won't be the last to do that. You are still new to all this so if you didn't have at least one wobble, then I reckon you'd have to be a cyborg or something!

Stop panicking. Just take a big breath, feel that feeling of disappointment in yourself, then exhale.

The next time you go to blow a big amount of cash, you'll think twice. You may still blow some cash but it might be less. Or it'll be a long time between spend fests.

I promise you, we all fall off the wagon. But with time it becomes less - and less damaging each time.

If it helps, I had a massive wobble around my birthday time at the beginning of April. I was so disgusted with myself that I came back stronger.

I never wanted to feel like that again so I devised a plan that if I want to spend money on myself I have to be able to see where the money is coming from for it i.e. all my Quidco earning are going towards a trip to London in November to see George Michael and I am sharing a hotel room with a friend. I've earned enough on Quidco now to pay for it....it's so amazing to know I've got it covered!

That is simply what works for me....there is probably something else that will work better for you....just have a think. No-one is saying you can never spend any money again or go out, just think & plan how to do it...consciously think "Where is the money coming from to do this?"

It gets better. I promise.

Hugs.

CosmoCat

thank you guys. i really didn't know that that spend would have me feeling so down. but as you say, this feeling will certainly teach me a lesson for (hopefully) a very very long time.

on a nice dfw note - i've called and cancelled my cap one card (no more 24.9% interest for me) and i've cut it up!! made me feel very good to do so. Also sending off my signed agreement for my new a&l account. so at least i've taken a step forward from my ten steps back.

thanks for all your encouragement guys!
xx

Sea78

Hon,

I'd say it's more 1 step back and ten forward with all the changes you've made!

Sea xx

CosmoCat

hey guys. good morning and hope you all are already having a wonderful day.

somebody asked me this question earlier and i suppose it should be a no brainer but i'll ask anyway.

what should i do with the £2000 cheque. should i just bung it on the barc card, or should i put it in my new a&l savers account for a while. t's 19.9% interest going out vs. 10% interest coming in.

let me know what you think.