Getting out of my comfort zone

Karmacat

Hiya ... just catching up after my computer traumas ... your mum sounds better, but you sound like now the immediate danger has gone, you're realising how much its taken out of you. Just take care of yourself the way you have been - sounds lovely to just huddle down in the comfy chair at a friend's house, thats very precious.

savingholmes

hi Gill hope you are feeling a bit better today - and that your mum is still okay. I got your card today - thanks I really appreciated the thought! It is proudly displayed on my bookcase in the living room and gave me a real lift when I got in tonight. I'd messed up my tablets yesterday and today and not kept on top of the pain so it has been a little difficult... hopefully will do better tomorrow....

My weightloss is still going well - I got lots of compliments at work today on my weight loss so that was positive... Try to find a positive focus in all this that is going on with you too and hopefully things will feel a little easier...

gilligansyle

Thanks to everyone,

Mum definitely seems to have turned a corner, but as I posted a while ago she is never going to be 'well', and there is no indication of how long she will be in hospital for. I felt useless the other day because I was at work, but went to see her last night so feel better.

When she was seriously ill, we wanted someone to always be with her, but as she was unconscious we could just sit around, and go for coffee, read a book etc. Now that she is awake, we feel that we have to be there to keep her spirits up and in some ways that's harder, walking away knowing that she's on her own.

SH- glad the card arrived safely, I have no idea how I managed to get your address wrong last time.

Spent money yesterday, but it was mainly on treats for mum, so they don't count:) I also need a new kettle, the little red light keeps going off and back on, and it takes ages to boil. So trip to Argos at the weekend, (or wherever else I can go through quidco and collect in store!)

DS is avoiding doing jobs around the house at the moment, by being *busy* in that amazing way men have. Nothing seems to change, but he is always rushing around.

Have a good day all.

Karmacat

Hiya! I'm glad to hear your mum feels better - I know what you mean about it being harder when she's awake to amuse her, just on an every day level I experience that, being the one that entertains - must try to remember to step back tho, I'm sure its not good for me - probly for you either. I'm rambling completely, sorry, I'm a bit jazzed from knowing I need to get on, but also wanting to come on here and chat .... can't do both, I guess.

Take care - hope to see you over the weekend.

gilligansyle

morning

Feel a bit out of sorts today. Went to visit mum and overheard her criticising me and saying how I didn't care what happened to her! So I just walked out, and sat in the corridor really upset. When my cousin came out she was mortified, and kept telling me that mum didn't mean it,etc. but I couldn't bring myself to go in, as I was so angry and that wouldn't have helped either of us.

We'll see what today brings, but she's obviously better if she's back to her old ways. It also leads me to think that my cousin has been 'stirring it' a little bit.

Wages this week fairly rubbish, due to not working much last week, but no DD's etc. to go out, so on the whole reasonably OK.

No grocery order this week, never got round to doing the silly thing, so will be doing my shopping in Wilko, Netto, Iceland and local shops.

:jAlso, really important, at some point this weekend hope to catch up with KC, who is visiting her family nearby. It depends on her other arrangements, but really looking forward to that as we've arranged this a couple of times and it hasn't happened for various reasons. Fingers crossed.

Have a good day if you're reading.

se999

Sorry to hear that the visit went badly, unfortunately you can't pick your relatives, although you can chose how distant you need to be. We've had to make tough decisions about that in the past. Anyway it is good that she is improving, even if it does mean she's "back to her old ways", at least you can concentrate on you a bit more again.

Hope you manage to meet up with KC and have a fun time.

gilligansyle

Thanks se

this particular cousin is one of the 'toxic' relationships that I'm trying to step back from. Unfortunately she was also the person who 'happened' to call in on the evening mum was taken ill, and called the ambulance,so if she hadn't been there.....

You can choose your friends, but families are a different matter. Ours is so big, that normally you can pick and choose which family members you keep up with. My brother is up this weekend, so he will be visiting, taking his son's with him, so will step back a bit, and concentrate on practical stuff.

Tea and toast done. Now to attack the kitchen

hypno06

It is difficult to keep these things in perspective when they are so hurtful at the same time. Whilst deep down we know that they are not meant in the way they may have come across, the "slap" that they give us is really not nice. Hugs to you.

I hope you meet KC - we managed to fit in a couple of hours a couple of years ago now and the time just flew by!!

savingholmes

hi gill - I can so relate the to the toxic relationships thing. Now you've vented try to close the door on that and focus on something more positive. My MIL has said amazingly hurtful things to me - but I know she loves me and appreciates me she just has never learned to control her tongue properly.... Its hard but try not to take it too much to heart and just celebrate that at least your mum is feeling healthier

gilligansyle

Thanks folks, I think part of the problem is that she started to take me for granted. I'm always there for her, even though my cousin lives round the corner, and I have a sister and a brother. This cousin has been filling her head with how she (the cousin) will be able to support mum and that she doesn't need *us* . She's not doing this for mum, but so that she can earn 'brownie points' with the rest of the family.

As hypno said, it feels like a 'slap', I felt like a small child being sent from the room. She didn't mean it, but it still hurt a lot.
I've told my sister, and she has gone in tonight, I need a night off to chill. She is getting better and I am glad about it, but soon we will have to think about what happens when she comes home etc. That is something I can do, and leave sister to do the emotional support.

So....fish and chips it is:D