Getting out of my comfort zone

gilligansyle

Thanks for your thoughts.:A

Been awake since silly o'clock again, really tired, but can't sleep.

Mum is managing to breathe on her own now, but is still in the critical unit. On Tuesday we were told she may not see the night through, but she's still battling. Any little thing will put added pressure on her heart, so they don't want to move her. The consultants are *very* blunt though, and have told us not to think beyond each day.

It's difficult though, as I don't get paid if I don't work, so have got some work I can do at home - if I can concentrate enough - but if this is going to be a long term thing, we can't spend half our lives in the hospital. My brother drove a 400 mile round trip to see her on Tuesday night, but can't decide what to do.

***THIS IS A BIT DEEP********

It also brings a few things home about faith etc. Mum is a very lapsed Catholic, and we were brought up C of E, and none of us are church goers. We ask hundreds of questions of the staff, and then went and had coffee in St@rbuck$, her sisters went to church. At the moment we don't know which side will surface when Mum is more conscious. And I want to slap one of my cousins who keeps spouting stuff at me.

Okay, that's me done.

On a positive note:-
There is NO IRONING LEFT!!
The bathroom and kitchen are gleaming.
It's given us a chance to clean the china in Mum's cabinets.
There is still food left in the fridge, etc.
I've lost 5 pounds.

Catch up with everybody else at the weekend.

hypno06

Look after yourself in all this xx

Karmacat

Oh Gilly ... whats your side of the debate - not to say on here, if you don't want to, but do *you* know what *you* want to happen? They ask you about extraordinary measures in that situation, I know .... do you know what your mum wanted?

And aargh to cousins spouting stuff at you.

Horrible to have to bring your brain round to the practicalities of work - the only thing I'd say about that is, if you have to, then really do it, so you can get through it as quickly as possible .... sending you lots of hugs, and positive vibes.

sashybo

Sorry to hear about your mum gilli, hope you're looking after yourself. *hugs*

savingholmes

hi Gill - so sorry to hear that your mum is poorly. Good that she is now off the ventilater but it still sounds very scary for you - so joining with the others and sending you a virtual hug. You definitely need to look after yourself too.

I imagine it is very hard to know what to do about your job - I would try to keep things ticking over while still seeing your mum when you can. A lot easier said than done and only you can judge....

Really hope things improve for you soon

gilligansyle

Morning

Had a really good sleep last night, well collapsed in my bed at 9, and didn't disturb, so thats good for me, and am going to go into work (Cheshire) today for a few hours. Over the weekend will see how Mum is and work out what to do about Shropshire. I really don't want another 2 hour drive like I did on Tuesday, not knowing what to find when I got here. But it all depends on how she is. They are showing no signs of moving her off the critical care ward, even to another intensive care type ward, so we'll have to wait and see.

Sorry if I offended anyone over the 'faith' thing, but it was probably looking at the census form that did it. Mum''s family don't just go through the motions, it's their faith that gives them support, but I don't have that, and in some ways admire people who do.

Last night my sister said that Mum seems better as her heart rate has dropped, but had to explain to her what 'normal' was, so although she is better, she was *very* ill and still is. Runners will understand this, but its not normal for resting heart rate to be over 100. Mum is conscious for brief periods now, and knows we are there, wiggles her hand at us, so that's good, but any movement sends her heart racing again.

The other thing this has made me realise is - I need to sort my underwear drawer out Tidying things away in Mum's house, a place for everything, in contrast to mine, where things just get dumped on any available surface.

se999

Hi

Just been catching up on your thread. Sorry to hear about your mum's illness. It's a difficult balancing act between family commitments and needing to earn income, especially with no idea of how long for.

Hope managing to sleep last night helped too.

Karmacat

gilligansyle wrote: »

Morning

Had a really good sleep last night, well collapsed in my bed at 9, and didn't disturb, so thats good for me,
Lovely! You must have really needed it.
and am going to go into work (Cheshire) today for a few hours. Over the weekend will see how Mum is and work out what to do about Shropshire. I really don't want another 2 hour drive like I did on Tuesday, not knowing what to find when I got here.
That must have been a living nightmare.
But it all depends on how she is. They are showing no signs of moving her off the critical care ward, even to another intensive care type ward, so we'll have to wait and see.

Sorry if I offended anyone over the 'faith' thing, but it was probably looking at the census form that did it.
How can you possibly think you offended anyone? Of course you didn't, and its your thread anyway.
Mum''s family don't just go through the motions, it's their faith that gives them support, but I don't have that, and in some ways admire people who do.
I know what you mean, there's a Thomas Hardy poem about that, I'll hunt it out, it means a lot to me.

Last night my sister said that Mum seems better as her heart rate has dropped, but had to explain to her what 'normal' was, so although she is better, she was *very* ill and still is. Runners will understand this, but its not normal for resting heart rate to be over 100. Mum is conscious for brief periods now, and knows we are there, wiggles her hand at us, so that's good, but any movement sends her heart racing again.
Still very problematic...

The other thing this has made me realise is - I need to sort my underwear drawer out Tidying things away in Mum's house, a place for everything, in contrast to mine, where things just get dumped on any available surface.

Okay, that made me laugh :rotfl: we need that sort of stuff to keep us sane :rotfl:

Souk08

Hi love, so sorry to hear about your Mum...and get those knickers sorted when you can! X

NorthernLas

M&S and sainsbugs have knickers on offer, just throw those grey ones out and get new ones ...

Hugs and thinking of you and Mum ... can you try the following lines with relatives

1. I hear what you are saying, but actually I feel like ...
2. With all due respect, surely Mum's health and well-being is the most important issue at the moment ...
3. With all due respect, it is good to have religious faith, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the matter ...
4. Any you're saying that because ...