Getting out of my comfort zone

Double_Trouble

Oh Gill I am so sorry for all that has been happening I've not kept up with the threads recently and had no idea. Big hugs for you as you have an awful lot to deal with - glad you got to meet with KC and hopefully that refreshing break will have helped you deal with the rest of the c**p

DTxx

gilligansyle

Morning

well its a reasonable enough time to be up and about I suppose, but have been awake for a while. Birds are twittering away on the roof, church bells went off at 6, and I can see movement in the kitchen.

The final project that I came here to do is coming to the point when I can leave it soon, they'll probably start running it in the new financial year, which makes sense. This contract is subject to 4 weeks notice, which they haven't notified me about yet, but the 2 people I report to want a meeting; would they have a meeting about that? Not sure, presumably they tell the agency and the agency tell me. Sort of hoping there's more work, there is, I can see it, but its justifying the budget etc.

gilligansyle

elantan wrote: »

ahhh those big wooden spoons with skelfs on them ... just make sure the trouble maker gives it a good lick .... and lands up with a septic tongue ...

Love that view of it :rotfl:

Beatles?? Personally I don't understand how they can be such a tourist draw, but they seem to bring a fair amount of money in. Always makes me laugh when I go to my sisters; there's a very narrow road, with a hill, and if ever there is a hold up in the traffic you can guarantee its a coach load of tourists taking pictures of a gate (Strawberry Fields!)
If ever you are round and about let me know.

hypno06

Good luck with whatever is thrown your way today x

gilligansyle

Hi to anyone still reading this

Remember this?

gilligansyle wrote: »

..and there is a storm brewing on the horizon regarding Mum

yup!!!

..I am trying to head it off, but suspect I am going to become extremely unpopular.

yup!!!

My sister has tipped me off about something she noticed when she went to visit tonight, so tomorrow I will ring the ward and check it out as I'm her next of kin, so they'll speak to me.

I won't post details in case it comes to nothing, but I have my suspicions. Someone has been out with their big wooden spoon again
oh yes!!!

I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry; I've never been in hospital other than maternity ward, so can't imaging how it feels when you just want to go home, but aren't well enough. But Mum wants to go home and has worked out that there are people far sicker than her, who have gone home. The difference, they don't live alone. So, she's told them she has a carer. ME!!:eek::eek:

That's what my sister saw on the form last night, so I rang to check what that implied. They think I look after her for most of the day, constantly popping in etc. whereas I work 75 miles away, and although I do lots for her, its not that level of care.

If I tell them that, she will be in hospital for weeks, or she'll just sign herself out. Apart from the fact that she'll never speak to me again.

So I suspect that 'put the name of well meaning relative here' has told her to say that, and that said relative intends on being seen as the person who looks after Mum while her evil daughters live the high life, not caring what happens.

GRRRRRRR FAMILIES!!!!!!!

Part of me thinks, 'Oh let her! those who know us, know the truth'

Double_Trouble

That's a tricky problem seems like a lose lose situation hope you work something out.

DTxx

NorthernLas

The hospital will back track when you tell them the reality. We had to do the same with my late MIL as they were about to let her loose without even considering that she lived alone in a 3 bedroomed semi!

For practical reasons you must make them aware that you know the system and if you don't it is as follows:

1. The hospital are responsible for your Mum's care
2. The hospital are responsible for ensuring that she is safe and able to go home
3. If they are not convinced, she should have a home visit and be observed in her own home
4. A care package must be arranged before they let her loose. This includes being assigned a social worker, receiving delivery of any aids like kettle stands / toilet seat raisers / handrails / outside key safes etc.

The powers that be may well attempt to let her loose since she is adding to their bed bill, blocking a bed and if she wants to go home she will be inherently being awkward and causing 'trouble'. It is your job to explain to them that she lives alone. If you are asked to explain it to her then my approach would be 'you want her to live independently and safely and the system needs to process her correctly ... so tough she stays there until it can'!!!

[re-lurking ... no idea what to do about other relative, apart from raise my eyes to the sky and think thank crunchy you are NOK!!!]

p.s. I did a bit more ranting but lost it in the ether ... should you need a strategy to deal with the guilt trip that said relly will attempt to drop from a big height, I have a few up my sleeve

gilligansyle

Thanks dt and nl

NL - your are of course totally correct, they have a duty of care, but its the fact that if my sister hadn't noticed my name on a form, they may well have assumed I was there more than I was. It's the fact that Mum too knows the system, that has caused this.:)

I spoke to a friend last night who is an ex nurse and now does 'bed and baths', so this morning I'm going to ring the hospital and ask for an OT assessment. That will at least give an indication of what help she needs, and is easier when she's in hospital to get that support. I suspect that they've suggested this to her and she's refused it saying that I look after her, hence the note on the form.
Fortunately, she lives in a bungalow, so will be better there.

Tonight when I go to see her, I will try to make this clear to her, that I want her to be safe. I'm not being awkward, or trying to keep her in hospital, but don't want her struggling, or worse, falling. She has an open wound on her leg, that will take 6-8 weeks to heal, so she has to be careful.

As for the rellie, I am going to drop some gentle hints to the aunties etc. and they will work it out. The guilt trip?? Doesn't bother me, as I know how much I do for mum and so do my sister and brother, and tbh, thats all that matters.

Hopefully it all sorts itself out without any major fall out.

NorthernLas

Seems you are 'battle scarred' re. guilt trips - you are quite correct what you say as long as you and sis and bro are together knowing how much each do, then there is no probs. Just as well tho' 'cos now that it is late at night I have no idea what the brilliant strategies were (lost up the sleeve and on the drive to and back from Birmingham I suspect )

And oooh to an open leg wound ... something to be kept clean and something needing good circulation and poss anti-b's to get sorted... I think the safety angle is a good one.

Deep breaths

NL x

gilligansyle

NorthernLas wrote: »

Seems you are 'battle scarred' re. guilt trips - you are quite correct what you say as long as you and sis and bro are together knowing how much each do, then there is no probs.

NL x

Thanks NL

errr sister and brother actually do very little for Mum, so are currently on their own guilt trips, and I fully intend to take advantage , as they are aware how much I do.

Spoke to Mum last night, and basically she will do anything, say anything to get out of hospital. I've spoken to the staff nurse in charge and let him know my concerns, and they are arranging an OT assessment.

So, we have agreed that today, she is going to come out for a few hours, with me, just to her house for a cuppa, and then back again. Maybe then she will realise that at the very least she will need a walking frame, and a chair that she can get out of unaided.

Obviously I'm not going in to work today, but will do some admin/documentation work from home.

Have done on online grocery shop, it is helping me to be disciplined, and also saves me precious time at the moment. So grocery shop is around £48 at the moment, but have actually meal planned, and worked out what DS needs while I'm away etc.
I should only then need around £20 for sundries over the weekend, and then petrol on Monday.