what should I do - advice please

MrsAnnie

jackie_w wrote: »

Nope she has no rainy day fund whatsoever.

Maybe she believes she has one........YOU!!:D

VanyaHargreeves

I'm sorry to say this, but your sister is absolutely despicable. Does she have no sense of pride or at least any concience whatsoever? I'm fifteen years old, and I believe I could probably handle money better than her.

Sorry to be so rude about her, but that's how I see it from your side of the story. Well done for standing up to her, keep it up. She has to learn at some point.

Pssst

I pity any man who would bother with her. She sounds high maintenance. No wonder her partner did one...as we say in Manchestoh...

paddy's_mum

Jackie - the plain fact that your sister is jeopardising the very roof over her head in her determination to keep buying whatever takes her fancy should be ringing alarm bells for you all. It doesn't display much mother love in putting herself, and her child, in that position and all the bikes and pizzas in the world won't help if the day arrives where she can't pay the mortgage!

Be glad that you are now out of it. Don't rise to any taunts that may come your way. Hold your peace and let any support you give your family in the future be practical help not money in any way, shape or form. They're none of them thick - they've been able to work out how to press your buttons, haven't they? - and they'll soon catch on that you are not their personal banker.

I'm so pleased that you've confided in your hubby, and that he is on your side. What man doesn't like being made to feel strong and needed, and I'm sure that he must secretly have resented the shenanigans of the past.

I would repeat my suggestion from earlier in this thread that you find out where you could go for an assertiveness training course. It will help you in other areas of your life, not just with the situation with your sister.

Today is a new day and I'm sure that with your new found determination it will be the first of many where nobody makes you "feel bad". Well done and good luck in keeping to your word.

neneromanova

I had a thought about your mum Jackie. Your mum gave you that money so that she wouldn't spend it and so that she could get a nice TV yeah. Maybe she did that as she knew your sister would ask her for the money and she new she couldn't say no so you should just turn round to your mum and say that she told you to never give the money back under any circumstances.

Also, on the Ebay thing, Sell her stuff. Try to get as much as you can for it. Then when she ask for the money back, say you thought she wanted to sell her stuff and pay back the money she owes you and that she now owes £XXX amount

hot.chick

you sister acts that way she acts because the people around her let her!!!

She asks for hand outs because she gets them, if she was told NO earlier she would be acting differently now.

Stick to your guns, stop bailing her out, she won't even help herself by selling things for herself.

She is spoilt and selfish, do not pander too it any more.

If you famly can't see it t's because they have helped to make her the way she is.

Well done for sticking upto her - keep it up it will be better for you in the long run as she will stop asking you for hand outs.

Happy_Girl_2

the_cat wrote: »

Well there really is no helping her with an attitude like that!

Of course, you could agree to do it and use the funds to pay back some of what she owes you..........:D

I was about to reply with the exact same thing. Tell her that you'll do it, and perhaps give her back the first £100 for xmas presents for her daughter, then when the rest comes in, tell you have deducted it from what she owes you so she can get back on her feet quicker

zaksmum

Your sister is just taking the p*ss Jackie. This is a joke. She has zero respect for you or your mum and you have to call a halt now.

So she has her house like a palace and goes out regularly...probably smokes and drinks, too? Anyone would help a sister who had genuinely hit hard times and was making huge efforts to get back on track, but your sister's just playing you for a fool.

Tell her to bog off.

caevans

Hi Jackie
Sounds like you have realised that your family are using you for money! Sometimes you just need to take a step back from a situation to see the bigger picture, so well done you for putting your foot down. Like everyone else has said, you aren't a bank. Your sister and Mum are grown ups and can control their money just as you can. If your sister wants to waste her money, then thats up to her. Let her do what she wants, but stick by your guns and don't bail her out. Even at Christmas when she is crying that she can't afford to buy her girl a present, tell her that she should have been saving like everyone else has to do to afford to buy presents. Don't feel guilty!!! You didn't put her in her situation, she did that herself. Ditto with your Mum. If she want to lend your sister money then she has nobody to blame but herself.
Anyway, well done. Don't go changing your mind though!!!

Amber_Sunshine

zippychick wrote: »

Two words chick - Emotional blackmail.

Too kind. I'd call it bullying and extortion.