what should I do - advice please

MrsAnnie

:beer: Well done!!! It must be really hard standing up for yourself when your family has been steamrolling you for so long! Good luck and all us MSErs are on your side :j. So give us a post whenever you feeling yourself falling into the money guilt trap again!!!

pebbles88

Hiya,

havent got any advice to give other than what has already been said. but did not want to read n run, i agree with others on here, she will just keep asking and asking if you dont draw the line. I know its hard to say no to family though. ((HUGS)))

spugzbunny

You did the right thing saying no to her and you should keep that in mind when she tries to emotionally blackmail you again.

I understand that each time, the money she asks for are for things that can be considered important or necessary BUT at the same time, these are things that should teach her a lesson. Not having money for your own daughters birthday present should be a lesson to anyone.

If it were me, I would've helped her by getting the bike and the shower through free cycle or the boot sales. That way you have helped (monetry help is not the only kind of help) and you have hopefully given some kind of lesson at the sametime. I know it's too late for that now but something to consider in the future?

Also ... one more thought. Is there anything of your Sister's that she can sell on ebay to pay your Mum back quicker? Jewellry, games consoles, hi fi, CDs, DVDs etc?

Good Luck to you!

ETA - sorry my spelling is awful!

jackie_w

Spugs, My sister would love to sell stuff on ebay, infact the conversation to me went like this:-

Sister - Do you have an ebay account

Me - yes

Sister - Can you come down to my house, take pictures of the stuff I want to sell, list them on ebay and sell them for me

Me - Why cant you do it yourself

Sister - Because im too busy and your doing nothing all day and I cant manage down to the post office all the time.

So unless I sell them for her, she wont take the time to sell them on ebay



Jackie xx

Al24

jackie_w wrote: »

someone also asked what my sister did with all her money, well, you should see her house. OMG what a palace, she has absoluely gorgeous things,
There is just no talking to her. Oh and by the way, she is still treating her daughter to the pictures and a lunch in pizza hut on Friday!!!!!!

In that case she should sell some of her other goods to raise the £150 for this shower.

Surely if she owns a house she should have some sort of rainy day fund? Then when the boiler goes in the height of winter or the shower breaks she can dip into this fund.

Personally I would have bought her the shower head from Argos to put on the taps to have a shower.

On a side note I am newly graduated and am working however have had to make a lot of big ticket purchases recently furniture and bedding mainly and am receiving a microwave from my mother and step father for Christmas and I am quite grateful for it.

fantasia322

You've had some really sensible replies Jackiew.
Have read this thread with interest. But peeps are right.
While everyone keeps bailing your sister out she will never, ever learn. And if she has been in debt already 7 not learnt her lesson, that speaks volumes.
It's time for you to think about you and your own well being and it seems like your sister feels you owe her something. Which you most certainly do not.
Take care, stay strong and once you have said No and meant it, I promise you, you will feel so much better :T:T

zippychick

Well Jackie - well done. To be honest, I would tell your Mum politely you have explained your reasons to your sister, and don't wish to discuss it.

Sounds like your sister has lived beyond her means for quite some time now. The sooner she has her lightbulb moment, the better. Between now and then - it is not your responsibility to finance her lifestyle. Good for you telling your OH - that should help. From now on, you need to tell him any time she asks again -as he will back you up and convince you you are doing the right thing.

Do you think it has ocured to her it is costing you money? If i had the cheek to borrow that much, i would offer interest at an agreed rate.

As for taking her daughter for pizza hut and cinema (at least 30 quid im sure) , well, I would be pointing out if she made lunch for daughter and had a home movie day , that thirty quid would go quite a long way towards her fancy shower she so badly needs.

She sounds like she has a real sense of entitlement to me.

the_cat

jackie_w wrote: »

Spugs, My sister would love to sell stuff on ebay, infact the conversation to me went like this:-

Sister - Do you have an ebay account

Me - yes

Sister - Can you come down to my house, take pictures of the stuff I want to sell, list them on ebay and sell them for me

Me - Why cant you do it yourself

Sister - Because im too busy and your doing nothing all day and I cant manage down to the post office all the time.

So unless I sell them for her, she wont take the time to sell them on ebay



Jackie xx

Well there really is no helping her with an attitude like that!

Of course, you could agree to do it and use the funds to pay back some of what she owes you..........:D

jackie_w

Nope she has no rainy day fund whatsoever.

spugzbunny

Cripes - that is just lovely isn't it?! I stand by my what Is aid then ... the rest of us get by on what we can. In her situation, her only option is second hand and free cycle until she can afford better. I am reasonably OK for money yet the idea of buying the best shower because thats what I want is laughable. I would buy what I can afford and save for a replacement in the future.

It sounds like your sister never had to look after herself properly and always had someone to take care of her. You said earlier that you weren't always good with money but you learn't? Well I'm sorry but clearly your sister needs the same tough lesson!

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh here! LOL! I've got the worst cold and I'm in a major grump in bed!!