what should I do - advice please

libra10

I would tell her that you have cancelled the Argos card as you've just realised the interest rate.

Don't give in to her, if you paid for the shower this week, next week it would be something else, followed by something else ....................

Your sister will never realise the value of money while you and your family continue to bankroll her.

It's not easy to say 'no', but good luck.

Barny1979

My shower thermostat broke a few months back, I bought one of those shower heads that fits onto the taps, that made do until I had the money to fix the shower

BeenieCat

I never had a shower for years and years, it felt like a real treat to have a nice shower after swimming at the leisure centre lol! Only got one this year and it's lovely

Mind you i had a bath, find it strange that your sister doesn't have a bath, i've never come across that before

vaio

If you factor in the 27% interest it'll take her over three years to pay what she owes already.

It would be a kindness not to let her get into any more debt particularly in your name. (although she might not see it that way & families can be funny things)

Pssst

Jackie_w...kindly refer your sister to MSE. If you find it difficult to tell her,then we will. It sounds like she is well overdue for a reality check.:D

busiscoming2

jackie_w wrote: »

No doubt though my mum will say somethign to me about it later when I see her, and it will be something along the lines of what my sister has said to me, to try to make me feel bad.

When (if ) this happens just think of all of us behind you, on your side. I know it must hurt like hell, but be brave and strong!!!!

Fork86

My situation was sort of the same but different, but nonetheless ended up in me taking out over £30,000 of student loan debt for the sake of my mum, dad and brother, and me only being able to keep around £8,000 of it in a 5 year period.

The reason my situation is different from yours was because it only started because my dad owed £3,600 in mortgage repayments, and was threatened with repossession. He had only asked for a tiny bit of money, and never more after that. (He was taken out of the family business by his dad due to a family feud, which is why he fell behind on the mortgage).

It was my stupidly kind nature that actually applied for the maximum loans. only to give to my family, but I was never emotionally blackmailed. I just couldn't bare the thought of my parents suffering.

Now a sizeable chunk of my salary is being eaten away by student loan repayment, and my dad isn't in a position to pay me back (probably not for a few years yet anyway). I am lucky in the sense that I can still just about manage, but I will never be able to live life comfortably, at least for the near future.

I wasn't even planning on taking out nearly that much student loan, but I know I would have felt monumentally worse if I hadn't helped my family. If I was being emotionally blackmailed though, I wouldn't have helped.

I just can't believe you're being seen as a bad person even after all the help you've offered your sister. Unbelievable.

I would just like to elaborate to any trolls that do decide to comment, I do realise it was MY decision to take out the student loan (which some say isn't a real debt, but it is if it is automatically taken out of your wage).

zippychick

Fork, that's awful - really unfortunate. Poor you.

OP - even though you have paid th balance and are not paying the extortionate interest rate, it is costing you in interest you could have earned having it invested. Maybe only a few percent, but better than nothing. I would say your sister absolutely hasn't realistically thought out the implications of this on you and your finances.

And the more I think about the bike - it is infuriating. You poor thing. I don't think the response to this thread has been particularly harsh either - bar one or two comments.

How are her finances so bad? Is she a fritterer and just no sense? Sounds like it.

BeenieCat

I can imagine sister has furnished her house with 'buy as you view' and that's where all her money goes! I know a few people who she sounds similar to!

jackie_w

Gosh so many more replies. Thank you everyone, I could really do with you all following me about when I next see my family and also answering my phone for me. My mum has phoned me a couple of times today and ive purposefully ignored her calls.

Someone had said that my dad would benefit from the tv too, but my mum and dad arent together, so, he would (believe it or not) look to be getting a new tv from me if I bought my mum one (yes playground tactics I know, but thats the way he is).

someone also asked what my sister did with all her money, well, you should see her house. OMG what a palace, she has absoluely gorgeous things, but boy did she get into trouble with all the debt she took on. her and her Dh split up, he moved out, she just about managed to get the mortgage in her name, then he said he wasnt paying any of the bills, so she was left with it all, and had to enter into a trust deed. I tried at the time to get her to come onto this site and she didnt. i tried to get her to join pigsback and quidco etc, but, she said that she wasnt wasting time doing that!!!!!!!

There is just no talking to her. Oh and by the way, she is still treating her daughter to the pictures and a lunch in pizza hut on Friday!!!!!!

She hasnt learned her lesson with regards to money, when shes allowed to get credit again, i really do think she will run up all the debt again. My mum has even said that too.

Ive still stuck to my guns and I havent given her any money for the shower, and Im not going to. ive told my Dh about the bike, and he said to me I have to stop somewhere, and hes right, so it stops right now.
He even said to me (and I never thought of this before, and he is so right), she hasnt saved any money for Christmas, so that will probably be the next thing, where she will ask me to get Christmas presents on my Argos card for her daughter. Watch this space, I will be so surprised if she doesnt.

Jackie xx