Don't know what to do for the best...

mummy_Jay

have you considered this may be some misguided cry for help?

He may just be feeling there is something missing and he just doesn't know what it is, so has done this to see if this can fill the gap?

That said to use a username that friends and family know him by is not fair on you or your children.

If I where you I would ask him 4 questions

1. Why have you done this?
2. Did you consider the effects everyone knowing his personnal business would have on your marrage?
3. Did he consider the effect this will have on his kids?
4. Do you still want to pursue this?

Then hand him an over night bag with his stuff in and tell he needs to go and stay with someone else whilst you think over whats he's said and whether or not you still want him. If he asks how long for tell him as long as it takes you.

juliescot

I would print out his profile and hand it to him and ask him to explain.

Can I ask why you were looking at a dating site anyway?

rjc73

Thanks Maxine! I didn't think he had any mates that did that kind of thing but, hey, there seems to be a few things I don't know!

rjc73

mummy_Jay wrote: »

have you considered this may be some misguided cry for help?

He may just be feeling there is something missing and he just doesn't know what it is, so has done this to see if this can fill the gap?

That said to use a username that friends and family know him by is not fair on you or your children. Yes, this is awful

If I where you I would ask him 4 questions

1. Why have you done this?
2. Did you consider the effects everyone knowing his personnal business would have on your marrage?
3. Did he consider the effect this will have on his kids?
4. Do you still want to pursue this?
these are great concise questions...thank you.
Then hand him an over night bag with his stuff in I don't think I have the b***s to do this! and tell he needs to go and stay with someone else whilst you think over whats he's said and whether or not you still want him. If he asks how long for tell him as long as it takes you.

I know that he is very self centrede and will not have considered his actions to have any effect on anyone else.

Kandipandi

mummy_Jay wrote: »

have you considered this may be some misguided cry for help?

He may just be feeling there is something missing and he just doesn't know what it is, so has done this to see if this can fill the gap?

That said to use a username that friends and family know him by is not fair on you or your children.

If I where you I would ask him 4 questions

1. Why have you done this?
2. Did you consider the effects everyone knowing his personnal business would have on your marrage?
3. Did he consider the effect this will have on his kids?
4. Do you still want to pursue this?

Then hand him an over night bag with his stuff in and tell he needs to go and stay with someone else whilst you think over whats he's said and whether or not you still want him. If he asks how long for tell him as long as it takes you.

Im sorry you are going through this - I would have given the very same advice as above.
I would imagine that as he has not hidden his info he wants this to come to a head. Perhaps he has always been Bi and is curious now to actually do something about it........ however Gay/Straight or Bi if he is contemplating this then he is not happy with the relationship that you share.
I would definately make time to sit and discuss this, can you arrange for the children to be somewhere else tonight so you can talk/scream/cry and try to get some answers that you deserve.
The fact that you found this tells me that you have had your suspicions anyway and great dad or not do you want to live in constant worry and pain? It is not always best for the kids if the parents stay together, and I speak from experience both as a child of divorce and a divorced woman.
Thinking of you x

rjc73

juliescot wrote: »

I would print out his profile and hand it to him and ask him to explain.

Can I ask why you were looking at a dating site anyway?

I wondered why he had 'unfriended' me on facebook...I thought he might have set up a new account under his common user name...google was not my friend on this occassion!

rjc73

Kandipandi wrote: »

Im sorry you are going through this - I would have given the very same advice as above.
I would imagine that as he has not hidden his info he wants this to come to a head. Perhaps he has always been Bi and is curious now to actually do something about it........ I think this is likely. can you arrange for the children to be somewhere else tonight no, they are a bit little so you can talk/scream/cry and try to get some answers that you deserve.
The fact that you found this tells me that you have had your suspicions anyway and great dad or not do you want to live in constant worry and pain? It is not always best for the kids if the parents stay together, and I speak from experience both as a child of divorce and a divorced woman.
Thinking of you x

Thanks Kandipandi, I hope I can maybe get some answers tonight.

Thanks to everyone who posted, its a big help me!!x

Sea78

hun!!

God, not much I can add - I know you won't be on here til tomorrow now, but massssive hugs and I'll text you tomorrow as well xxxxxxxx

zippychick

rjc73 wrote: »

I wondered why he had 'unfriended' me on facebook...I thought he might have set up a new account under his common user name...google was not my friend on this occassion!

Your husband removed you from his friend list on facebook? :eek:

NO advice as such, just couldn't read and run. What would you do or suggest if a best friend went through the same thing?

He needs to fully understand the implications of his behaviour..... how would he feel if you had a profile up looking for bisexual company (or any sexual company?)

I would be angry and want full proper explanations. Now is not the time to !!!!! foot around him - you need proper exact answers. DO NOT BE FOBBED OFF!

hugs hun xxxxx

cleopatra4485

I really do not think you should ignore this. Its not like you have found out that he is emailing one specific women! but is stating man/women anyone and everything, it could be very dangerous for your sexual health. It could also be just be nothing. I would try and catch him out first personally just to see if he is and then you have your answer. Good luck