Don't know what to do for the best...

rjc73

Hi there,
I don't really know where to start. My oh and I are not in a very good place at the moment and yesterday I found a profile page on a 'dating' website where he has left his details requesting all manner of sexual activity and stating that he is bisexual. :eek:

I just don't know how to go bout dealing with this....does anyone have any experience like this???

I am slightlyflabberghasted and very upset

Just to add the majority of our problems in communication stem from his complete inability to control his cash...just to keep it ms!!

Minxy_Bella

I'm not surprised you're upset, hun. It's one thing for him to be touting his wares to pick up other women, but he's not limiting his options at all, is he?

If it was me, I'd pack his bags and change the locks.

Others might want to register with the same agency and wind him up a bit, but I wouldn't see the point - he's been busted.

rjc73

Easier said than done there are 2 little 'uns to consider and he is a fab dad...

iolanthe07

Is he going through some kind of mid life crisis? If he is a fab dad as you say, I would hesitate to do anything drastic at this stage. Also, some usually hetrosexual men fantasize about gay sex from time to time, as do some usually hetrosexual women - it's part of human nature and I wouldn't worry about it too much as long as it remains just a fantasy. But you do need to sit down with him and talk it through.

rjc73

Thanks iolanthe I 'm not sure about the mid- life crisis although he's nearing his mid century! I thought he'd had his mid lifer when he left his first wife!!
Its a big trust thing too...he often works late or goes out with mates...now I'm going to be wondering who he's with!!
I've also found an empty viagra packet in the past year....tried to forget about that but obviously I haven't!!!

Minxy_Bella

rjc73 wrote: »

Easier said than done there are 2 little 'uns to consider and he is a fab dad...

I've left a marriage with three children under 7, so I know it's not easily done.

You have to decide whether to put up or shut up. I couldn't live with my partner doing this, no matter how great a dad he was. You won't get any medals from your children, or anyone else, for being unhappy when you could have put yourself first and started afresh.

rjc73

[QUOTE=Minxy_Bella;25723201

I couldn't live with my partner doing this, no matter how great a dad he was

This is where I think I'm going to struggle...is this always going to be in the back of my mind??????

I have emailed him with a link to his profile page because I don't think I have the nerve to explain why i'm so upset...I'm also very upset that he hasn't bothered to hide it at all he has used his user name that tons of people know him by!!

I don't know how I am going to talk to him rationally about it...I think he will brush it off and tell me not to be so silly, that its nothing for me to worry about

God, I feel so sick

maggied_2

rjc - just wanted to give you a big hug! What a horrible thing to find.

I like what you've done by emailing him - don't you dare let him tell you it's nothing though! You're entitled to a bloody good explanation.

Hope it goes well, will be thinking of you xx

Tartanmax

Hi,

Before you think about killing him... there might be an explaniation for it... could one of his"mates" has set it up for him as a joke?
We've all heard the stories of fella's thinking those kinds of things funny.

I think o matter what you are cgoing to need to confront him otherwise it will just keep playing on your mind until you find out the truth.

Don't jump too far ahead with what you would do if it is true.. just take one step at a time.

I hope it works out for you.

Maxine

rjc73

Thanks maggied! I think it might be a long night.

cheepskate_2

rjc73 wrote: »

Easier said than done there are 2 little 'uns to consider and he is a fab dad...

But he can still be a fab dad even when you are seperated.

You also have to think of your health, physically and mentally in all of this.

It unfortunetly cannot be swept under the carpet if he is actively looking for opposite sex partners.

No advice really as dealt with same sex affair but not opposite attractions.

You need to have a long chat to find out what is really going on, could be all inoccent , friends playing pranks etc

Hope it all goes well for you

Take care.