don't know what to do

Minxy_Bella

Is there any chance you can get a restraining order against him, on the grounds that you're fearful for your safety (and that of the kids) ?

Barneysmom

But still he is their dad and you have to put them first, so even if you don't get back together - and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't - you still have to sort out some sort of visiting for him?
It's a real nightmare for you ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) I hope you are coping, it helps to have a plan to fall back on?

bluebag

sandhawk2701 wrote: »

Hi Barneysmom,
No I don't want him back, not after he put my kids through that.
He says he is going to change, but don't they all say that don't they??

He has been in hostipal since sunday night is that not enough time to 'dry out' I haven't a clue how it all works?

Trying to change is good, but he needs to make those changes, HE needs to make those changes. You can not change him or his drinking. You can only change how you respond to it. You may still care very much about him, he is very ill, but, you need to protect yourself and your children. You have a right to live in a peaceful enviroment. You could contact Al anon for support and advice from people who are coping with similar difficulties.

daska

if he does become a nuisance you could investigate getting an order to try to prevent it

sandhawk2701

Have been stuggling for the last few days not even getting dressed, I hate feeling like this

Kandipandi

Sandhawk - I so sorry for this situation you have found yourself in. Please try to keep strong, keep the fight in your belly and you can collapse and have a good cry/scream session when this is all sorted out.
I know you are hurting but the children must also be upset by all of this you have to try your best to keep some stability for them even when you are dying inside. I am speaking from exerience here.
Thinking of you x

Minxy_Bella

sandhawk2701 wrote: »

Have been stuggling for the last few days not even getting dressed, I hate feeling like this

I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. You've been so strong, you're bound to feel rubbish for a while. Don't give in to his emotional blackmail though - things will get better for you, I'm sure.

((HUGS))

sandhawk2701

I have just had my children's school on the phone, my first reaction was ooh no whats happened.

The year head rang to tell me that in the light of the situation going on at home they would like to send some gift vouchers for the children to help them have a happier half term. They just needed to ask for my authoraisation before they sent them out.
I didn't know what to say but thank you and started crying. I have got off the phone and I'm sobbing my heart out.

I have got to get strong again or he will win!

sandhawk2701

An update......

OH came round last night and we went out for a bite to eat.Was all idle chit-chat about nothing really.
We sat in the car before he dropped me home and out of the blue said "I bought a new tv on friday"
He hasn't given me a penny since he moved out and he does something like that!!! I was fuming, His reply I've given up drinking its only £4 a week so why shouldn't I.

I have hardly any food in the house out of loo rolls, tampons, washing my hair with shower gel, and he does that...


We have been text arguing today and im getting worried about what he is saying now..


1: hope i have a good weekend and meet the love of my life good luck good bye x.

2: instead of saying suicide you can say liver failure or what ever u want. you have shown u dont care any more by saying i didnt do it properly 1st timehave a good 1 better luck 2nd time round

3: you have made urself clear you dont want me back as for the kids i have always put myself 1st (your words) so it wont matter they will get over it. there is no pointin going on all we do isrow find urself adecent bloke 1 who isnt an alki



IS he going to do it again????

Minxy_Bella

Oh dear! He's certainly trying it on again, hun but you can't take him back just because he threatens suicide.

My ex used this emotional blackmail to keep me from leaving him. For 17 years. I was such a fool!

IF he chooses to do something silly, then it's his choice. You can't be responsible for his happiness, lovey. You are only responsible for your kids and you.

xxxx