don't know what to do

Minxy_Bella

Sandhawk, I can't string a sentence together yet as your post has just whisked me back to 7 years ago when I reached the end of my tether with my ex-suicidal-alcoholic-drug-abusing-husband.

So just ((HUGS)) for now - and I'm glad you're feeling angry. Stuff him. You don't need this !!!!!!!

xxx

inamess200

Big hugs - I left my alcoholic husband at christmas and i still get nightly txts telling me he is going to kill himself but he is still there in the morning. At christmas he came into the house plastered grabbed a kitchen knife and tried to slash his wrists in front of our children - that was the last time i classed him as my husband - it is hard cause they never think the problem is with them but stay strong.

The finanical stuff will get sorted I am £40k in debt due to him and he will not give me a penny but i and my children are alot happier now. So stay strong and make sure you ask for help xxxx

Forgot to add we have been together for 19 years married for 14 1/2 - he still struggles with the fact i dont love him anymore he thinks cause i put up with the rubbish for soo long i must love him - quite a strange view of the world even now 9 months on he is paranoid i have a boyfriend - chance would be a fine thing !!

Any

OMG:eek::eek:
This is called blackmail. Ignore him.

You are doing so well, you are a strong woman and I feel you will get through this. Loads of hugs for you.
xx

Any

lolababy wrote: »

Please take this on board, just because someone has informed people that they have taken an overdose does not mean it was attention seeking. Its a misconception that people who mean to commit suicide dont communicate.
Your other half needs help and support which I hope he now gets. I can see your angry and that he has left you in a bad situation financially but that can be sorted . Had he died would it have made you less angry.
If you go to the job center you can get a crisis loan even if your from a working household.
Will the bank give you an overdraft to cover your direct debits.

All it shows is selfishness.

sandhawk2701

Thank you so much for all your offers of support, it is a great comfort to know that others have come out the other side of this.
I rang about my mortgage and they have agreed to give a 3 month payment holiday which will take us up to Feb now, but I still need to get him to sign the form when it arrives. I'm sure his mum will take it into him and explain that it needs to be signed.
When I rang the council about c.tax, they were really helpful til the heard my address (on council estate with a bit of a bad name), her attitude totally changed and said because I had a son of 18 i wouldnt receive to single persons discount.
There is a community house in our road that I am an active member on the residents assocation, Went to our monthly meeting and had a chat with the community house manager, Paul he is putting me in touch with an organisation that will help me deal with the situation, and a support group for the children to help talk throught their dads drinking problems.
Feeling a bit happier now I've had a chat with the banks and made them aware

sandhawk2701

MIL has just rung me to say that they are still keeping him in as he has damaged his liver and has had some counseling.
She spoke to him and he was very tearful as he has now realised what he has done.
I'm feeling quite sick right now and don't know why............

Money_maker

I'm sorry, hun but don't forget its not your fault. This may be the reality check he needs to sort himself out.

Either way, you need to look after yourselves and the children. You are what matters and you neither deserve nor need any emotional aggravation on top.

Oh and Any is right. Alcoholics are very selfish and self-centred as a rule.

inamess200

Money_maker wrote: »

. Alcoholics are very selfish and self-centred as a rule.

Oh how i agree with this even now he rings me for 30 mins at a time telling me how bad his life is!!!:mad:

Any

I understand how you are feeling - but please be strong. You cannot give up now. He has to touch the complete bottom to be able to get himself together. And if you give up now he will not touch the complete bottom.

Be strong and continue as you were doing. As you said yourself - he's got to prove himself first. And win your love again if he seriously loves you.

It's not fair on you or the children to live your life according to one man. It's your life and noone elses!

belfastgirl23

You are feeling sick because you're still in shock, which is absolutely normal, so don't worry about that.

You are doing amazingly well in getting organised considering how recent all of this is. I think in the meantime you just need to keep going. Leave the big decisions to one side for now. You and your husband both need thinking time. He needs to figure out if he wants to give up drinking. The good thing in one way is that this is clearly decision time, if he has liver damage and can't give up drinking then he is sort of a lost cause and you can't help him. If he is prepared to give up drinking then there might be space to talk about your future, but only you can decide whether he has used up all of his goes or not.

But really well done on all you have achieved, you're obviously a strong and competent person and whatever you decide, you will be ok. And so will your kids.