don't know what to do

sandhawk2701

is hiding under the duvet and shutting the world out, having a very down day, well weekend really..

Savvy_Sue

Nothing wrong with that sandhawk, we all need duvet days sometimes, and the weather didn't exactly encourage anyone to get out of bed this morning!

Hope next week is better.

IWish

Hi Sandhawk - sorry this weekend hasn't been too good. I'm not sure about rules for posting links to other threads - but did you read 'myothercarisaferrari - 6 weeks ago today' on this board? It shows how far she has come and that there will be good times again. I'm with SavvySue too, we do all have days like that and this weather definately doesn't help. Hugs xx

lilmissmup

Just found this thread and wanted to wish you all the luck in the world.

Me and my ex split over 3 months ago, hes gone from a cannabis addiction to going out drinking all the time to stop feeling anything and hes the one that left me :rolleyes:

I wish I could help him more than anything, saw him the other day and hes skinny, had cuts all over him and even told me in an email he has felt like killing himself.

Hes tried to manipulate me into thinking we can get back together although he says he never meant to hurt me by dragging everything up again this week after I was starting to move on but hes not been moping around too much, he told me there has been another girl since we split.:mad: Apparantly the grass wasn't greener like he thought it might be when he left me....

Anyway my point is I love him so much it hurts, but I can't be the one to help him through this, I hope for his sake he comes out of this whatever happens with us but me and you cannot live our life waiting to see if people will change.

Will keep reading your progress, big hugs xx

sandhawk2701

lilmissmup I really hope you find the strenght to let him find out for himself and not take him back because you still love him and he is still at a low point in his life.

My OH turned up on Saturday evening, freshly shaven, freshly ironed shirt, bunch of flowers and chocolates asking me to go out for dinner with him. I was feeling fed up with it being a Saturday night and all the kids would be out so I agreed.
We went to a pub in town to get something to eat but as it was Halloween they wern't serving food!!! So we sat in a corner, him with blackcurrant and soda and i had a wine spritzer. He asked what was to happen now as it has been nearly six weeks and we were still nowhere forward.
I suggested mediation to sort out money and seeing the kids. He started ranting I'd made my mind up and I wanted a divorce. I hadn't said nothing of the sort at all, I just need him to start to understand that there is no future for us and we need to sort out some sort of financal arrangement as I was now paying all the bills aswell as having to feed the kids.

He just said come on I'm taking you back home there is no point talking about it. This is when I said we need a third party to listen to what is being said without the other getting angry and the money issue was just one thing that could be discussed.
He told me..... book it, pay for it, I will turn up. So in my eyes I have to do it all, just like before.....
So I ended up in on my my own on Saturday night after all.

Sunday he rang again wanting to talk I said lets do it at mediation as I think last night was a mistake and we shouldn't of met because it just put things up in the air again. We are both finding this hard to deal with and maybe the no contact thing would be best. He said ok.

So I need to find out where to go for mediation because I won't let this go.

RAS

Well done keeping your cool.

You seem to have got the message over a box of chocs is welcome but this is rather more serious.

fabforty

Good for you. :T

Contact the National Family Mediation or the Family Mediation Helpline. I don't know the rules on posting links and telephone numbers, but if you do an internet search on these two organisations, it explains how to get in touch.

sandhawk2701

Its been a month since I last posted on here.

He has attempted ODing again, gassing himself in the car, slashing his wrists and ODing again on Wednesday night. He is now in a mental health unit getting sorted.

I am so low now I am really struggling to carry on.
Why has he had to bring me down aswell..

IWish

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling down - but remember you are not responsible for his actions - only he is. There is nothing you can do for him and at least now he is somewhere where he can be helped.

Is there anyone you could phone? Big hugs xx

sandhawk2701

so why cant i get all the help????