Hypno's "no more boom or bust" diary

milliemonster

Lovin' the new chapter Hypno, cracking first post, brought the first smile to my face today xx

Different_Corner

*is so pleased that I am not alone in contents of desk from previous employment is stuffed in old carrier bag 'somewhere'...*

I too have said Christmas is here. (well a few subtle hints by a few family members helped..) More than welcome, enter at own risk due to mad dog/teenagers building bmx's/playing guitars.

hypno06

Truth is, I've not really enjoyed Christmas since Dad died, and end up being a miserable b*gg*r who in turn makes it miserable for everyone else. Think of a stroppy, ungrateful child, and that just about sums me up.....:rolleyes:

So I have to snap out of this somehow, and the only way I can think of is to take control of it and do it MY way.....whatever way that might be! Also, if I am miserable, I can cover it by being busy in the kitchen :rotfl:

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

Truth is, I've not really enjoyed Christmas since Dad died, and end up being a miserable b*gg*r who in turn makes it miserable for everyone else.

:grouphug:

hypno06 wrote: »

Think of a stroppy, ungrateful child, and that just about sums me up.....:rolleyes:

Somehow, that just doesn't ring true...

hypno06 wrote: »

So I have to snap out of this somehow, and the only way I can think of is to take control of it and do it MY way.....whatever way that might be! Also, if I am miserable, I can cover it by being busy in the kitchen :rotfl:

A better way is to explore why you do feel unhappy, and to try to change that.

Deflection is not cure...

hypno06

ZTD wrote: »

A better way is to explore why you do feel unhappy, and to try to change that.

Deflection is not cure...

Because Dad worked away all my childhood - first in the RAF, then in the Middle East, and although he was usually away for birthdays, which were a bit of a non-event, we always made a big thing of Christmas, because it was one of the few times we were all together (even if that meant having Christmas dinner on a different day because he was working).

I don't care much for birthdays - they were always just another day, but Christmas was always supposed to be the day that made up for everything else.

And so it is one of the times that I miss him most, and just want things to be the way they *should* be.

Even typing that makes me cry - so you can imagine how pants it is when it gets to December and everyone is trying to make me enjoy something that I don't want to enjoy!

Not that easy to change really.....

benbenandme

I know how you feel Hypno, but in a slightly different way; ever since ex left Christmas isn't the same. I try to enjoy it for ds sake but my heart isn't really in it It isn't the same when its just me and ds, and i watch him open the stocking that I wrapped and I know whats in every parcel, then theres only me to take the photos, so they all end up being of ds, never of both of us We do go round to Mums, but again Dad being as he is, that just isn't the same anymore either :rolleyes: ... reading this back I sound a right miserable cow and its about time it changed So, somehow I will enjoy it this year, theres no going back to how it used to be, so I need to find a new way of doing things and start enjoying it again, easier said than done, but I can at least try and at least theres no-one else here to moan if I start online sale shopping at silly o'clock xmas morning :rotfl: :rotfl:

Surfbabe

Afternoon - well DD is safely delivered to Nottingham - her room is nice (glad we paid for a big room) and she has taken most of the contents of her room here !!!!

She has been out with her flat mates and seems to be quite happy.

DH and I have been to Audley End House for a walk round the grounds this afternoon

I know what you mean about Christmas Hypno. Hope you are feeling a bit happier now.

Raquela

Damn, where's a hugging smiley when you need one? I know what you mean. Maybe you could try and institute a new tradition so there is something new that in time you can come to look forward to? I'm not a big fan of christmas either, but I want to be, and am trying to be - not in a spend way too much on rubbish kind of way, but spending time with family etc when my natural inclination is to hide from everyone preferably somewhere far far away!

I must admit that I would like to host christmas for my family one year, but have never lived anywhere big enough to do it, or near enough. Now I can actually fit a dining table, maybe it's a possibility (once I have obtained necessary table!)

hypno06

We did go completely away a few years ago - skiing with friends, (before Dad died) and I would really like to do that again......taking ourselves away from the "fakeness" and just enjoying what we are doing but that is not a cheap option because I want a chalet, log fires, and someone to cook for me so I can relax completely.

Perhaps next year, when I am debt free........hmm..........now there is a serious thought......

Back to reality and I have cleaned one bathroom and made a start on the hall :cool:

benbenandme

I think my problem is my parents made xmas so lovely for us as kids that I worry I'm letting ds down I know I'm not but as a kid I loved big family xmas's and I want him to enjoy the same but its not happened like that. I know its all in my head and he loves it anyway, but I do need to get my head sorted round it