Opposite Sex Friends?

Seraphseven

I'm a fella and all of my mates ares guys,

My girlfriend has male friends that come and go, I don't have a problem with her going for a drink and having a chat with them as I know that a chat is all she wants.

In nearly every case though they will get too flirty, read the wrong things into the friendship and ask her to leave me for them :eek:, at which point she freaks out and breaks off contact with them saying she never saw it coming :rotfl: . It makes me laugh every time because i spot the telltale signs, I know that if I was a jealous person then it would keep me up at night that she has guy friends especially as i know what they are after!

But I know that telling her she can't hang out with who she wants to would be damaging to our relationship. I'll always be there to break some legs if any of them get all weird and stalkerish but she is an individual and i don't want to hold her back from anything that makes her happy.

Unfortunately Men that are friends with Women generally ARE only after one thing and that is, as another poster so eloquently put it to "slip 'em one"

Luckily i'm secure enough in myself, and in my relationship with my OH that i know it's never anything more than friendship for her, In fact the only one of her guy friends that bothers me is the gay fella that makes a point of trying to grab my knackers at any opportunity :eek::eek:

jackomdj

What an odd question! I have some great male friends.

Where I used to work one of the guys was lovely & we got on so well. We ended up having meals at each others houses & our partners both got on brilliantly as well.

My OH has some female friends & I don't have a problem with that either.

I think if you are in a good relationship then other sex friendships do not matter at all.

jimexbox

jackomdj wrote: »

What an odd question! I have some great male friends.

Where I used to work one of the guys was lovely & we got on so well. We ended up having meals at each others houses & our partners both got on brilliantly as well.

My OH has some female friends & I don't have a problem with that either.

I think if you are in a good relationship then other sex friendships do not matter at all.

Genuine question, do you go out for a evening drink/meal without your partner with a male friend?

Caseyface

Of course you can have friends of the opposite sex but as someone pointed out it depends on how much time you spend with them and the things you do etc that may impact on a relationship.

My ex had a female best friend who had lived on the same street for years which was fine until he started to drop me at 11 o clock of an weekend evening to go and pick her and her mates up from town. He did this all the time and couldn't understand what i was on about.

The other time was a girl from work who lived alone, he used to go round on wednesday evenings for a 'chat' but i'd never met this girl and he hardly knew her which i found odd.

I think if your partner knows them and is introduced to them and you have a secure relationship etc etc then there will be no problems. However, if they start to come before you or you don't have that much trust in place, it's never going to work regardless of anyone's intentions.

carolan78

I have lots of male friends too probably more than female, but they are alson in the main my DH's friends as well. So when we go out more often than not it is in a group (generally I find I am the only female though).

DH works in an enviorment that is male only so doesn't really meet any females. If he did and got friendly with one I wouldn't have an issue with it, but as a male poster has said I would have issues if it was just them two going out alone (one off's don't count but a regular thing would).

There is one particular male friend that wouldn't think twice about slipping me one and he has made that extremely clear, but DH trusts me enough and we both know that is a defect in this friends make up...he will sleep with anything as long as it is female with a pulse lol So his flirting when DH isn't there is something DH and I later giggle about.

[Deleted User]

maturelearner wrote: »

Just a thought but do people think it is dis-respectful to have opposite sex friends if you're in a heterosexual relationship?

I'm in a co-habiting relationship with a school-aged daughter from my current relationship.

Not at all. Doesnt matter which sex your friends are as long as they are just friends.

3plus1

jimexbox wrote: »

Genuine question, do you go out for a evening drink/meal without your partner with a male friend?

I would. But my male friends are ones I've known for years, who have seen me as a spotty fat teenager committing crimes against fashion. I'm pleased to say I don't look like I used to, now I'm an adult, but I think my male friends and I are firmly in a place where attraction is not possible...

I often go out with my friends on a one-to-one basis, which is why it's not unusual for me to go out with a male friend, without any other company. I'm not one for crowds...

carolan78

3plus1 wrote: »

I would. But my male friends are ones I've known for years, who have seen me as a spotty fat teenager committing crimes against fashion. I'm pleased to say I don't look like I used to, now I'm an adult, but I think my male friends and I are firmly in a place where attraction is not possible...

I often go out with my friends on a one-to-one basis, which is why it's not unusual for me to go out with a male friend, without any other company. I'm not one for crowds...

I think them been long standing friends makes a huge differance to the whole going out alone with them. If it were a female huby grew up with then I wouldn't have an issue because the dynamics all change over time and you become more like family iyswim.

oystercatcher

I think it is possible to be opposite friends when in a good relationship. The problems can occur when a relationship hits a dodgy patch though, as most relationships do at some point. It's very easy then for jealousy to arise and also perhaps for someone to accept the 'dodgy offer' that normally they would refuse.

How many posts are there on here about jealous OH's or people regretting something that happened when they were feeling low and had had a few drinks !!

I wouldn't mind my OH going out with a bloke for a beer and a curry but if it was a female I would feel very insecure. Yes that speaks volumes about our relationship, and it could be the last straw!

Paparika

Yes it is possible and easy, as long as rules are set out from day one.

One of my best mates is male, 10 years younger than me, we used to go pubbing and clubbing together, we both made a an agreement that it would be platonic, and i see him as my big brother, he sees me as his lil sister.

He has seen me in some states and never taken advantage. He's been a rock to me, when emotionally i had relationship problems, supported me, I even let him move in when he needed a home, but that was a disaster because he is not house trained, i told him to leave, gave him 6 months notice, it made him grow up and be more independent, I've never been to his place since he moved, he knows his place is a mess and i don't want to smell or see it. but still loves me just the same.

My partner became friends with him through me,