Opposite Sex Friends?

maturelearner

Just a thought but do people think it is dis-respectful to have opposite sex friends if you're in a heterosexual relationship?

I'm in a co-habiting relationship with a school-aged daughter from my current relationship.

January20

I believe that you can have friends of the opposite sex without any problem. Why would it be dis-respectful? unless the person who is "friends" with people of the opposite sex fancies them or flirts with them... otherwise I can't see a problem.

alyth

Not disrespectful as such, but I'd query why you would want to have opposite sex friends. I seperated from my ex last year after 15 years, and at one stage due to working in a predominantly male environment had a few male friends, one by one they all proved to be sterotypical, only after one thing, unable to speak to a woman without sexual innuendo.

Guess it depends on what your partner thinks. My ex had a few friends of the opposite sex, mainly work colleagues, he used to mention them occasionally, he then decided he wanted one of them more than me and dumped me!

I'm not bitter, truly I'm not, I have a fantastic life now, but I can see that having tried to have male friends it just does not work, despite the fact you are in a relationship they may try and see whether they can make you leave your current partner, or make things uncomfortable for you.

gordikin

maturelearner wrote: »

I'm in a co-habiting relationship with a school-aged daughter from my current relationship.

I do think that could have been phrased a whole lot better!

creased-leach

No! Most of my friends are male. I get on far better with blokes- they don't !!!!! (as a rule) don't chatter inanely about handbags, or which c-rate celeb is sha**ing who- and don't take themselves too seriously. I do have close female friends, but they're exceptional women.

It's not disrespectful at all- and I'm often called upon by male mates when they want a bit of company (and muscle) for road trips etc. I'm happy being one of the boys- long may it remain so.

PolishBigSpender

Erm, anyone normal will have friends of both sexes without any sexual intent whatsoever.

I'd question the maturity of someone who couldn't have good friends of both sexes.

happyfili

Absolutely not! I'm female, co-habiting with my male partner and our small daughter, and my very best friend is male. We have known each other for over 10 years and even though we are both heterosexual we have both managed to keep our privates well separated, purely because we don't fancy each other!

It's not at all disrespectful, and like creased-leach above me I, on the whole, get on better with men than women. If on the other hand your partner has a problem with your opposite sex friendships, that's another question and nothing to do with respect

UKTigerlily

alyth wrote: »

Not disrespectful as such, but I'd query why you would want to have opposite sex friends. I seperated from my ex last year after 15 years, and at one stage due to working in a predominantly male environment had a few male friends, one by one they all proved to be sterotypical, only after one thing, unable to speak to a woman without sexual innuendo.

Guess it depends on what your partner thinks. My ex had a few friends of the opposite sex, mainly work colleagues, he used to mention them occasionally, he then decided he wanted one of them more than me and dumped me!

I'm not bitter, truly I'm not, I have a fantastic life now, but I can see that having tried to have male friends it just does not work, despite the fact you are in a relationship they may try and see whether they can make you leave your current partner, or make things uncomfortable for you.

Strange, to me that's like saying why would someone want friends! Gender has nothing to do with how people may get on, I don't go looking for friends & when I meet people that become friends their gender is the last thing on my mind, most of my friends are the opposite gender.

jimexbox

happyfili wrote: »

It's not at all disrespectful, and like creased-leach above me I, on the whole, get on better with men than women. If on the other hand your partner has a problem with your opposite sex friendships, that's another question and nothing to do with respect

I agree its certainly not disrespectful, but lets all be honest for a moment. I'm a bloke so I will phrase it for the women who are predominant on this board. What would you think if your husband/boyfriend received regular texts from his female friend? What would you say if he wanted to go out for a quiet drink with his female friend? Or an Indian on a Friday night, rolling in a little worse for wear around 2.30am.

I've often done these things with male friends, not too sure how my wife would react if it was a female friend. We can all be 'right on' it doesn't matter, and to a certain degree it doesn't. Though as I pointed out its how far you can safely push that degree without damaging your own relationship.

As a man for many years;), I can tell all the ladies that the vast majority of my mates who have female work colleagues who are 'just' friends would love to slip 'em one. Pardon the language, but most men in male company talk like that. Face facts ladies most men are lead by one ugly feature....

poppyolivia

My husband is close to a female work friend...doesn't bother me..her number is on his phone he used to speak to her on the pc (she hasn't got internet the now)...he only sees her at work though so maybe thats why it doesn't bother me...mmm not sure?? She is always telling him about her marriage problems etc and stuff like that and I'm ok with that..she doesn't have much friends I think and she appreciates him listening.

I used to have more male friends than female but not now its changed since I have had the kids...my husband hated one my male friends (and he hated my husband) but I still see him now and again in the passing and its fine...I think it stemmed from the fact I was in a room with this guy by myself 9 hours a day and people started to talk and my husband heard about it...he was more like a brother to me and he said I was like a sister.

At the end of the day if you trust your partner it shouldn't matter what sex they are.

poppyolivia

jimexbox wrote: »

I agree its certainly not disrespectful, but lets all be honest for a moment. I'm a bloke so I will phrase it for the women who are predominant on this board. What would you think if your husband/boyfriend received regular texts from his female friend? What would you say if he wanted to go out for a quiet drink with his female friend? Or an Indian on a Friday night, rolling in a little worse for wear around 2.30am.

I've often done these things with male friends, not too sure how my wife would react if it was a female friend. We can all be 'right on' it doesn't matter, and to a certain degree it doesn't. Though as I pointed out its how far you can safely push that degree without damaging your own relationship.

As a man for many years;), I can tell all the ladies that the vast majority of my mates who have female work colleagues who are 'just' friends would love to slip 'em one. Pardon the language, but most men in male company talk like that. Face facts ladies most men are lead by one ugly feature....

Talk about making me paranoid!!!:rotfl: