19 year old son's girlfriend to stay over?

andyaj0807

vaio wrote: »

Yep, but the danger is it soon becomes “when we’re sure they are asleep”, and then “when they should be asleep” and eventually “when they go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea”

Then you pretend your having a cuddle! Hmmmmmmmm.

ailuro2

It's probably because he didn't ask your permission too.

I'd put up wifi CCTV in it, tell him you want to keep the place secure as the woman in the newsagents says there's been a spate of burglaries on outhouses.:p

If he protests tell him it won't have sound on it, and that he's only playing XBox anyway, so what's the worry??:rotfl:

I agree - your house and garden - your rules!

seven-day-weekend

andyaj0807 wrote: »

... i am glad my parents dont use this website!

How do you know that, son?????

seven-day-weekend

We lived in Spain for five years (still doing half and half) and our son lived in our house with a lodger and then when he got a girlfriend she stayed over sometimes. As we were not there, there was not a lot we could do about it.

Had we have been there, I think we may have allowed it, but only after a good talk to our son about respecting our boundaries and our wishes.

My son was 25 though when we left, there is only so much you can say at that age.

He does respect our place and so does his girlfriend, she doesn't stay most of the time.

mummy_Jay

I think there's a big difference btw 'they were playing xbox when we got up for breakfast' and they were half naked wrapped in sheets. But then again if they want a bit of nookie they will have it any time of the day, so not having her overnight wont stop that.

IMO I would have a chat to him on the lines of his sisters was not allowed her BF overnight, its not fair for him to have his GF overnight, however inocent it may or may not have been. Your happy to have her come over but please can he make sure he walks her home after they've finished hanging out, you don't expect to see her for breakfast unless she's just arriving.

floss2

My sons were both allowed to have g/f to stay over from being 16....they slept in the spare room, or in his bed while he slept on the sofa....AFAIK...

They've both been on holiday with their gilrfriends, and now when they come to visit, I will ask if I'm making up 1 bed or 2 and see how relaxed they are with sharing their bed in my home with my knowledge

DVardysShadow

McKneff wrote: »

I cant beleive this last sentence, your blaming your parents because yur wife got pregnant when you were young :eek:.

I don't take it quite that way. It is either a bit tongue in cheek, or it is actually reflective in the sense 'My parents did X, with result Y, so when I am in their position, I will not do X'. I don't think that correlating the results with causes and contributory actions is sufficient to make it 'blame' - if the person translates the conclusion into modifying their own approach rather than into anger at the person who originally took the action in question, it is actually constructive.

funky_snow

The issue seems to be that you are uncomfortable - and fair enough its your house - but what are you uncomfortable with? the idea of sex or the fact that you are being unfair to your daughter who had different rules, or the fact that he didn't ask you?
Work out what it is you have a problem with and tackle that...
In all the scenarios - discuss it with your son and come to a joint decision - he's old enough now to be involved in household decisions - although it doesn't mean he has the last word - ultimately its still your home!
If its the second scenario - then also talk to/involve your daughter

NAR

21 year old daughter has being going out with boy for 3 months or so and wife and I both like him. DD does stay over at his house, his mother is ok with it. However my wife is not comfortable with "strangers" in the house as it could affect her privacy. I understand where she is coming from so DD was told no overnights for bf.
However at the weekend we told DD while we are away in London for 3 days in October bf would be allowed to stay; to our amazement she said he might stay one night, but no way is he staying all three!! :rotfl::rotfl:

jackieblack

98jdougl wrote: »

As the older sibling (and I know I am not a rare case) you quickly get used to the younger siblings eing able to do things at a younger age

How true!!