How do you feel about your OH?

WASHER

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

In answer to the OP's question, I think there are many different types of relationships that work; not all successful relationships have a spark. It really comes down to what is important to you and how you want to live your life. When children are involved and brought into the world by their parents, I do then think the parents owe it to their children to think beyond their own purely selfish wishes. Respect and friendship are key for me so personally, I wouldn't give up on a relationship without good reason, especially within a marriage where vows were made.

I feel a soulmate connection with my husband that I don't have with anyone else and would be extremely sad not to have him in my life. Do you have any idea how you would feel if he weren't around?

I agree with the above post.

I have been married for 13 years and we have had some tough times, but I can honestly say I couldn't live without my OH, he annoys me at times, but hey who said two complete strangers can live together in perfect harmony for the rest of your life without a few huccups.

I want to be with my husband for eternity, I want to be sitting next to him in our old age with blankets over our knees and him shouting at me cos I've gone deaf and me shouting at him cause I've told him the same thing three times already.

In my opinion, its best not to have too many expections where marriage is concerned, it can lead to disappointment.

WASHER.x.

gingin_2

Totally agree with your sentiments Washer.

Both OH and I are pretty unemotional, very unromantic and really not soppy at all but I like to think we have a real spark. I find him attractive, I can talk to him about anything and he makes me laugh out loud each and every day. His father is exactly the same and my MIL still giggles like a teenager at him after 40 years of marriage. I know we will be like that.

We've been together over 11 years and I look forwards to growing old with him A future without him on my own, I just can't visualise. I trust him 110% and that is vital as a lot of our marriage he has spent away from home due to work. I think him spending time away from home helps keep the marriage alive a little more and makes the time we do spend together more special. I don't miss him when he's away but I look forwards to him coming home, if that makes sense.

BADPENNY_2

have you considered relate, sometimes talking through things can help, have you told your husband how you are feeling. Sometimes it can be hard to adjust to oneanothers ways and you have a small child as well so things are bound to be a bit differrent to what they where. can you pinpoint when you started feeling this way, it may be other things in your life that are causing you to feel this way and you are taking it out on your hubby. I have been with my partner for 14 years, we where together for 4 years before we lived together but as soon as we started living together I really felt like I hated him and had made the biggest mistake of my life, but once we had adjusted to each others ways we where fine, don't get me wrong there are times when I could kill him but i'm sure he would say the same about me. Don't give up unless you are certain you want to, every relationship goes through ups and downs.

consultant31

vickitoria100 wrote: »

I know it's difficult, but can you try and sum it up for me?

I am very nearly walking out on my 5 year relationship. We are married, own our own house and have a 1 year old daughter but I just don't think I love him.

He can be a bit lazy around the house, speaks to me in ways I don't like sometimes but fundamentally he's a very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way. Am I expecting too much? Do you really need a spark to make a marriage work?

When did you stop loving him? Why did you stop loving him? Could it be that you have PND?

I have been married to my DH for over 30 years and for the first 10 years it was a constant battle to decide whether I hadn't made the worst mistake of my life. At the time I stayed because we had 3 children together and he has always been a good Dad.

I rarely go through a whole day now when it doesn't make me feel sick to think what I might have thrown away!

My advice would be to either get counselling or to grit your teeth and wait for this phase to pass, as it probably will.

There are lots of women in this world who would love to have a DH who is a "very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way".

Sorry, but I think you're chasing rainbows!

merlinormartin

My OH is my best friend.. we live together, work together, cry together, laugh together... 12 years and i love him more each day.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”

SCAMPIDOODLE

Hi
How long have you been feeling like this, you may have some post natel depression, as well as tiredness from adjusting to life with a baby/going back to work etc.
Agree with above, talking it through with a counsellor might help.

[Deleted User]

vickitoria100 wrote: »

I totally agree with you and I hate myself for being so stupid. Have you never made a mistake Paul?

OK. Fair enough. But are you 100% sure that if you were with someone else you wouldnt feel the same way as you do now?

[Deleted User]

This is definitely a sign of the day and age we live in. Couple get married, stay together for 10-15 years - reach mid 30s/40 maybe. Wife thinks shes made a mistake, decides hubbie isnt mr right etc etc etc.

Sound familiar ladies.....

miserly_mum

[quote=[Deleted User];25513723]This is definitely a sign of the day and age we live in. Couple get married, stay together for 10-15 years - reach mid 30s/40 maybe. Wife thinks shes made a mistake, decides hubbie isnt mr right etc etc etc.

Sound familiar ladies.....[/QUOTE]

I don't entirely agree with that Paul. I feel that nowadays there are more choices available to women who are in unhappy marriages.

Years ago it was really difficult for married women with children to leave their husbands. For example you couldn't claim any financial help in the way of benefits until you had obtained a legal separation. The same went for council/social housing. There was also a big social stigma regarding divorce and many women feared losing their children.

Yes in years gone by marriages might have lasted 50 or 60 years but that doesn't necessarily mean they were happier marriages.

dora37

[quote=[Deleted User];25491325]Is there any wife out there who doesnt think their husband is lazy or inconsiderate? [/QUOTE]

Mine isn't! He may not do things the way I want doing , however he certainly isn't lazy or inconsiderate.....in fact the complete opposite...and we've been together for over 19 years. :T