How do you feel about your OH?

jane130

its my huble opinion that too much empahsis is put on being in love and wanting that spark - My mum has been married 5 times everyone of them started with that spark but when it passed so left looking for the next big love of her life- she's now 55 and alone .

MY hubby and I have been married for 16 years in december and we have been through very tough times but when we married we said for better or worse and we are sticking by that - the spark comes and goes but the love is still there and I am sure always will be ( even if he does drive me insane a lot of the time).

pelirocco

vickitoria100 wrote: »

I know it's difficult, but can you try and sum it up for me?

I am very nearly walking out on my 5 year relationship. We are married, own our own house and have a 1 year old daughter but I just don't think I love him.

He can be a bit lazy around the house, speaks to me in ways I don't like sometimes but fundamentally he's a very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way. Am I expecting too much? Do you really need a spark to make a marriage work?

You are expecting too much , it takes 2 to make a spark , how would you feel if he wrote this about you?

pie81

jane130 wrote: »

its my huble opinion that too much empahsis is put on being in love and wanting that spark - My mum has been married 5 times everyone of them started with that spark but when it passed so left looking for the next big love of her life- she's now 55 and alone.

MY hubby and I have been married for 16 years in december and we have been through very tough times but when we married we said for better or worse and we are sticking by that - the spark comes and goes but the love is still there and I am sure always will be ( even if he does drive me insane a lot of the time).

:T hear hear.

been with my OH for 9 years, a couple of times during that time one or other of us has felt like we're not sure we love the other one (I am sure this is the case for most couples), but we got married "for better for worse" so we stick with it, make an effort, and it has always come back (not necessarily in the same form as it was but it some form) xx

[Deleted User]

pelirocco wrote: »

You are expecting too much , it takes 2 to make a spark , how would you feel if he wrote this about you?

I didnt want to be as blunt as you - LOL - but I agree entirely...

Not being sexist here but there seems to tons of women who wouldnt be happy whoever they were married too. They always want something more or something different.

My SIL is a prime example. She is continually moaning about her husband but they've been married almost 30 years. I think she actually enjoys moaning.....

vickitoria100

[quote=[Deleted User];25491325]Is there any wife out there who doesnt think their husband is lazy or inconsiderate?

Not being funny but you've listed one or two negative issues and five good points...[/QUOTE]

Two plus the biggy at the end of the second paragraph.

vickitoria100

pelirocco wrote: »

You are expecting too much , it takes 2 to make a spark , how would you feel if he wrote this about you?

I agree it takes two, but I don't think you can "make" a spark. I agree, it takes two to work at it but when I think about it we've been working at it for a long time. And before anyone says "how can you have been working at it for a long time when you've only been together for 5 years?" I mean in relative terms.

And to be honest, I wouldn't be that bothered if he wrote this about me. He says he still loves me but I don't believe him. Not in an insecure way, I just don't think there's much about our relationship to love. We're just friends (and not even particularly good friends) with a baby

miserly_mum

[quote=[Deleted User];25492947]I didnt want to be as blunt as you - LOL - but I agree entirely...

Not being sexist here but there seems to tons of women who wouldnt be happy whoever they were married too. They always want something more or something different.

My SIL is a prime example. She is continually moaning about her husband but they've been married almost 30 years. I think she actually enjoys moaning.....[/QUOTE]

" I moan therefore I am" is the saying SOME women live by.

(I'm not saying the OP is one of them BTW) but I also know some women who are married to some lovely men who treat them like queens and they still moan about them.

vickitoria100

To everyone else, thank you for all your replies. Although there seems to be some contradiction between the "make it work" and the "fairytale" camp. Ho hum.

LJM

vickitoria100 wrote: »

I know it's difficult, but can you try and sum it up for me?

I am very nearly walking out on my 5 year relationship. We are married, own our own house and have a 1 year old daughter but I just don't think I love him.

He can be a bit lazy around the house, speaks to me in ways I don't like sometimes but fundamentally he's a very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way. Am I expecting too much? Do you really need a spark to make a marriage work?

at the end of the day have you tried discussing this with him.though if you have tried all avenues and you really do not think it is working then i would have to say do what is best for you and your child,only you can make the decision but you should speak to hubby.
im very lucky i have been with my partner for nearly 16 years with 2 beautiful children and almost morgage free lol. he is like my partner and my best friend all in one and i couldnt imagine being without him,we work really well together. good luck with whatever you decide to do

[Deleted User]

vickitoria100 wrote: »

Two plus the biggy at the end of the second paragraph.

Then why did you marry him?

I'm sorry you cant promise someone forever then just 5 years later completely change your mind because they dont tick 100% of the boxes. MArriage is not like changing your favourite socks !!!