How do you feel about your OH?

vickitoria100

I know it's difficult, but can you try and sum it up for me?

I am very nearly walking out on my 5 year relationship. We are married, own our own house and have a 1 year old daughter but I just don't think I love him.

He can be a bit lazy around the house, speaks to me in ways I don't like sometimes but fundamentally he's a very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way. Am I expecting too much? Do you really need a spark to make a marriage work?

Buddingblonde

I remember my mother once saying to me that if you truly love someone you dont have to always like them.

I am a bit like that with OH - he is lazy and has a foul temper (and he sulks too which makes it worse) but I love him dearly. I dont have to like everything about him to love him I am sure that there is lots that he doesnt like about me too. Oh to be perfect eh?

We are 7 years together and the only thing I would change is that we never go out together (he aint the sociable type) and I would like to get married but OH doesnt believe in it. I go periods of that bothering me but to be honest it isnt a deal breaker.

blossomsuz

I know this is going to sound soppy but my hubby is the most important person in my world. I love him with everything I have and I know he feels the same way about me.

Yes he can be a pain and lazy round the house but I knew all of this before I married him. He is also sweet, kind, loyal, considerate, loving and a whole lot of other good things that definately outweigh the very few bad things.

I am sure if you asked him there would be things about me that bug him too mainly my OCD :rotfl:

That is part of loving someone and sharing your life with them though. You have to accept them for what they are otherwise its never going to work. You cant change a person from what they are deep down inside.

Glen0000

If she was not here my world would fall apart.

Sure, she drives me nuts sometimes, but without her I would feel dead inside.

Been together for almost 20 years and I love her more each day.

dmg24

My OH is probably my least favourite person at the moment. He is selfish at the best of times, but I have recently had a bereavement and he just doesn't care (although he insists that he does).

Five years and he would rather work on a house (he is a property developer) than be there for me. Hopefully soon I will have the strength to let him go.

foxy-roxy

I am very annoyed with my OH at the moment, he always seems to do something to really p**s me off at least once a month.
He has no consideration for my feelings and it's only when i threaten to go, and once when i did go for a couple of weeks that he seems to be really great, and then couple of months later he slips to being am idiot.
But he does have his good points, i feel secure and loved (sometimes), he is great with money...can't really think of anything else at the moment as i am to mad at him for what he did last night.:mad:

RoxieW

You could have been describing my OH OP, but, we do have a spark. When we spend time together it's brilliant - i thoroughly enjoy his company, he's gorgeous, affectionate, generous. I think you do need a spark to some extent - otherwise are you not just friends?

Little_Vics

life without him would be so much worse...

miserly_mum

My OH is caring, honest, funny, hardworking, generous (with his time and his money) and although he gets it wrong sometimes its not for the want of trying to get things right.

I know it sounds like a cliche but he's my lover/companion/best friend all wrapped up in one.

I can't imagine life without him now. I never felt like that about my ex hubby even after 12 years together. Looking back I didn't even like my ex that much although I did love him (at the time)

I actually like my now OH as a person as well as loving him. We get on very well as people. Sometimes in relationships lust takes over and after that dampens down you realise that you don't really have enough in common to sustain a relationship long term

amalis

he drives me mad, makes me cry and sometimes I think I would be happier on my own, BUT... I cant imagine my life without him.
Yeah, after 8 years together there is no spark anymore (from my side) , it is different now and feelings are not so intense, but with all this the connection between us is much stronger.
I miss that time when he was giving me flowers every day or taking to posh dates, but I learned to appreciate different signs of love, eg, sitting with me when I am sick, going shopping with my mum, takin day off work when I need his help...
Seriously, OP think of it.You dont have to feel crazy passion to know that you love someone.

londoner1998

vickitoria100 wrote: »

I know it's difficult, but can you try and sum it up for me?

I am very nearly walking out on my 5 year relationship. We are married, own our own house and have a 1 year old daughter but I just don't think I love him.

He can be a bit lazy around the house, speaks to me in ways I don't like sometimes but fundamentally he's a very good man, who works hard, is a fantastic father and would never cheat on me or hurt me in any way. Am I expecting too much? Do you really need a spark to make a marriage work?

I love my OH wih all my being... even though he has gone through a phase of being a full-time t***at (my definition) for a few months... now h eis growing outof it and being a charming, consirerte, affectionate man that I completely adore.
Like you , I don't always like the off-hand ways in which he talks to me or sware at me if he is getting stressed out and I am on OCD mode. I had to remind him that in my book, you don't speak to your spouse like that, is completely unnecessary and really upsets me. he did it yesterday and I reminded him... I guess a lifetime of men in his family who are disrespectful to their wives in many different ways leaves a mark, but he is trying and I am happy with him 95 % of the time. Let you OH know you don't appreciate being spoken to in that way. Be serious and calm about it. If you need him to help around the house, let him know and come with a compromise. remind him you love him for what he is: loving, hard-working, a good man... but tell him how you feel. If he tends to be lazy, may be you need to acept that but try and see if he can help more around thos house: My OH is learning!
Re: Spark- yes, definetely, you need that to make the marriage work in the long term...and there are many ways to get it back.