Opinions plz before i phone uni....security guard at uni walking into DD room !

brightonman123

dont think anyone should be going into bedrooms, without permission- i take it there are no locks?

dizzybuff

Answer is leave her key ikn the door or , lock it ... easy although this is not ideal if there is an emergancy .. id have waggles my bits at the bloke told him to have a good look coz once im dressed hed have no eyes.. but thats just me

Oldernotwiser

brightonman123 wrote: »

dont think anyone should be going into bedrooms, without permission- i take it there are no locks?

In my experience there are always locks.

smartpicture

worriedsik wrote: »

yep he is a starnge man and whether strange or not her own dad whom by the way isnt a 'strange man' to her... would not just walk into her room and she wouldnt want him too !!!!

iam her mum and i wouldnt walk into her room its her privacy is she not entitled to that as any human is ?

Agreed. I have a 19 and 17 year old daughter, and their dad would always wait for a 'come in' before entering their rooms, in case he caught them in a state of undress and caused embarassment for both of them. It's polite, and respectful.

So all the people on here who think it's okay, tell me:
(a) are you happy for the dads of your teenage daughters to just walk straight into their rooms without waiting for a 'come in'?
(b) and are the teenage daughters also okay with that?
(c) if the plumber or builder or whoever needed access to your teenage daughter's bedroom in your home, you'd be happy for him to knock briefly then walk in, risking them being in the middle of changing or any other private activity would you?
(d) and if you're happy with all of the above, would you also be happy for the same thing to happen to you in the privacy of your own bedroom, when you're sleeping / getting changed / shaving your legs / naked / wearing a face mask / looking a sight / using your vibrator / inspecting your breasts for lumps / plucking out your mustache hairs or whatever else you undertake when you believe you are safely in your own private space???

Savvy_Sue

TBH, I don't think you EVER have the same level of privacy in a university hall as you do in your own home.

And in answer to c) and d) above, if I knew there was someone in the house I'd make darned sure I wasn't engaged in any intimate activity, and that if I NEEDED to do any of the above that it wasn't possible for anyone to come in. We have a door wedge for such times (but we don't leave it wedged overnight).

Been thinking about it some more, there will be a senior student / tutor in residence / someone of that ilk, and if your daughter has a problem with her room it should be relatively straightforward to contact them and discuss it. If any of her friends want to raise the issue too that will increase the chances of 'instructions to security' being changed.

MrsTinks

Firstly I'd say stop doing your daughters complaining for her - she's 18 and at 18 I knew darned well how to complain without anyone doing it for me... Unless you let her take the oppertunerty that Uni is of learning life skills like standing up for herself then how will she manage in future? Give her advice by all means but stop doing everything for her.

As for my view on the "incident"... it was 10 am... I think it's fair to expect that most normal people, EVEN students might be out of their pits by then... I'm also reasonably sure that the general way of running the halls would have been explained to the students - as for leaving the cables, they'd go missing in communal areas, some might "forget" to collect them from security and remember at a stupid time of day and try and collect one at 2am... I am guessing this is a system they have found works for them - it's guaranteed to get to all students because they get placed/chucked in each room and no-one gets more or less than anyone else. As for the Security guard only knocking quick and entering - fine, only your daughter will know how long it was between knocking and entering - assuming she wasn't hung over or slept through the initial knock then it's up to HER and not you to complain.

Personally my advice would be for her to ask if they could next time knock and wait at least 10 seconds before entering, after all she might have come straight out the shower and she wouldn't want to embaress who-ever might be coming in... If she says it with a smile and a please and thank you she is far more likely to actually get somewhere with her request than if her mum phones up because her daughter felt uncomfortable about it...

minimoneysaver

Door Stop Alarm - Magellan's Travel Supplies

I don't think it is right that the male security guard was going into rooms. To be honest, I think he was opening himself up to complaints/possible issues by doing so.
It's actions like that, that can make people feel unsafe in their teritory. The girl who is being talked about is only 18. It is probably her first time away from home. She needs to feel like she is safe and secure in her new place. As a parent... no matter how old/young my daughter is, I would do anything to make sure that she feels safe.

Savvy_Sue

minimoneysaver wrote: »

To be honest, I think he was opening himself up to complaints/possible issues by doing so.

Now THAT I agree with. However, he will probably say, if challenged, that he was knocking and waiting, and then knocking again and letting himself in IF HE DIDN'T GET AN ANSWER.

Your DD may be very sure that he wasn't doing that, but if she was asleep, as you say she was in your first post, how does she know?

worriedsik

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That may be the case at her university but it certainly isn't the case everywhere - I've been a student and a cleaner in halls of residence and I've not come across a set time before.

yeh but iam not talking about the university you went to am i so that statement doesnt really help

worriedsik

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

In my experience there are always locks.

yep the door was locked he opened it with HIS key :rolleyes: