Opinions plz before i phone uni....security guard at uni walking into DD room !

carolinosourus

I was in halls in first year. We had male and female cleaners who came on a particular day of the week, usually in the mornings, however I'd usually be in lectures. We had security staff who doubled as porters, and I requested a new bed as the one I had used to squeak and creak in the night when I rolled over so loudly it used to wake me up (lol). I was still in bed when it came one morning and was a bit dozy, there was a knock at the door and I heard a key being inserted into the lock so I yelled pretty loudly and it stopped. I grabbed a dressing gown and opened the door and there they were with my new bed!

Are you sure she's not making it sound worse than it actually was? For example someone knocked on the door and she didn't shout or show any indication that she was in? How are they supposed to know? They can't see through doors.

I wouldn't suggest the wedge trick, or leaving a key in the door, what if something were to happen to her and they needed to get in in a hurry? Why doesn't she put a sign on her door saying "please knock and wait" or something so that it doesn't happen again? That seems sensible...

If it really bothered her that much then it is for her to sort out and make a complaint. She's an adult now, if she's capable of being away at uni she should be capable of sorting this out for herself. If my mother had even tried to get involved I would have been mortified as it was my business. If you continue to fight her battles for her, how is she ever going to learn?

My ex had a mother like that, he was 30 and was incapable of doing anything for himself and still lived at home. She thought she was helping and protecting him, but really she's damaged him and he is incapable of behaving like an adult.

worriedsik wrote: »

yep the door was locked he opened it with HIS key :rolleyes:

Yes, security HAVE to have a key in case there was an emergency... I would have thought that was self-evident.

worriedsik wrote: »

An 18yr old girl just leaving home needs to feel safe ..yes she is an adult but iam 47 and i would not feel safe if i thought that somebody was just going to walk into my room at any given moment would you ?

Again, I would feel safer knowing that, if I locked myself out then someone would be able to let me back into my room, and that if there was a medical or other emergency, people could get in to help me. What do you think would happen if she was to lose her key? If no-one else had a key simply to give your daughter "peace of mind", what exactly do you think would happen

98jdougl

When I was in halls (only a couple of years ago) we had it in the contract about staff having keys etc etc and it was also explained in induction.
You quickly learn to just yell to let them know you are there.

I also think it is slightly different than the instance of a father walking into a teenagers room because 1) the dad knows she is there and 2) he isnt trying to get through hundreds of rooms in a set time, most of which are empty.

The porters/security staff were well used to seeing me in my pj's because I would often go round halls in the (as did most folk etc) and we had some 3am fire drills as well. I was rarely naked in my room as I would get dressed in the shower etc... although Anne (my cleaner) once caught me n bed with my fella (We just found it funny though- think I got her a birthday card that referenced (s) it )

littlemissmoney

Did he actually walk into her room? Or did he just open the door and throw a cable in? Did he even notice your daughter was in bed?

littlemissmoney

littlemissmoney wrote: »

People come and go all the time... testing your electrical equipment, cleaning the windows, emptying the bins, testing the smoke detector, etc.

I've just thought of another one... I was ensuite so I used to have the sanitary disposal unit bloke/women knock and walk into regualarly too.

brighthair

littlemissmoney wrote: »

Has anyone who is saying this is out of order ever actually lived in a uni halls of residence?? It's not like a private rental or your bedroom at home! People come and go all the time... testing your electrical equipment, cleaning the windows, emptying the bins, testing the smoke detector, etc. They will just knocks, waits 2 secs (if you are lucky) and unless you shout otherwise they will enter using their key. It's their job and all the things they are doing are for the students benefit!

As for a mum phoning up the uni... :eek:

this ^^^
Just take it as a lesson, you do learn to shout quickly or cover up. Especially when the lock is broken, your boyfriend is round, and the head warden walks in :rotfl:
Could she put a do not disturb sign up? I used to have a joke one that said something like "In bed... with Brad Pitt... leave me alone!" and on the other side "Working hard..... PLEASE come in and distract me!"

Katie-Kat-Kins

I'm surprised that they don't have a sort of dead bolt facility on the lock for the room, I did in my first year accomodation (not that our cleaner ever turned up - but that's another story) and my boyfriend who was in "proper" halls did too.

I'd second all the people who say that if the girl is really bothered then she needs to raise this herself, she will never get good at complaining if she doesn't practice!

I don't think it is a big issue but I'd be a bit narked if someone could pop into my room at anytime of day. Perhaps she could suggest a better system, maybe a do not disturb sign or a dead bolt or whatever so students can signal that they don't want someone coming in unless it is an emergency. She could run this via the student union reps who will raise it with the uni.

oystercatcher

If OP is so fussed about her daughters privacy maybe she should rent or buy her her own flat rather than leave her in communal accomodation which, lets face it, is just one step above boarding school or a hotel.
She is expecting far too much!
It's not like the guy let himself into the bathroom !

supermoneysaving2008

I would be scared to wake up with a strange guy in my room, and then once its happened ,i would feel constantly like i had no privacy, as it could happen anytime again. A private shared house might be better.

Blackpool_Saver

the more i read this the more i think it is unacceptable. Put a piece of very heavy furniture over the door and move to somewhere else as soon as posssible

worriedsik

carolinosourus wrote: »

I was in halls in first year. We had male and female cleaners who came on a particular day of the week, usually in the mornings, however I'd usually be in lectures. We had security staff who doubled as porters, and I requested a new bed as the one I had used to squeak and creak in the night when I rolled over so loudly it used to wake me up (lol). I was still in bed when it came one morning and was a bit dozy, there was a knock at the door and I heard a key being inserted into the lock so I yelled pretty loudly and it stopped. I grabbed a dressing gown and opened the door and there they were with my new bed!

Are you sure she's not making it sound worse than it actually was? For example someone knocked on the door and she didn't shout or show any indication that she was in? How are they supposed to know? They can't see through doors.

I wouldn't suggest the wedge trick, or leaving a key in the door, what if something were to happen to her and they needed to get in in a hurry? Why doesn't she put a sign on her door saying "please knock and wait" or something so that it doesn't happen again? That seems sensible...

If it really bothered her that much then it is for her to sort out and make a complaint. She's an adult now, if she's capable of being away at uni she should be capable of sorting this out for herself. If my mother had even tried to get involved I would have been mortified as it was my business. If you continue to fight her battles for her, how is she ever going to learn?

My ex had a mother like that, he was 30 and was incapable of doing anything for himself and still lived at home. She thought she was helping and protecting him, but really she's damaged him and he is incapable of behaving like an adult.



Yes, security HAVE to have a key in case there was an emergency... I would have thought that was self-evident.



Again, I would feel safer knowing that, if I locked myself out then someone would be able to let me back into my room, and that if there was a medical or other emergency, people could get in to help me. What do you think would happen if she was to lose her key? If no-one else had a key simply to give your daughter "peace of mind", what exactly do you think would happen

Off course he has to have a key i never disputed that he shouldnt have one

A mother like that !!! i never came on here to be insulted by you i just happen to be a concerned mother who worries about her daughter is that a crime ?
She wont turn out like your ex because she has already left home at 18 !!

Emmm i think i know what would happen if she were to loose her key !! :rolleyes:

We ( myself & her ) have decided that she will go and speak to somebody in regards to this , she was worried and at first did not want to complain , i think you are under the impresion that i was going to do it and ''mortify'' her it was herself who asked me to because she was mortified that a man came into her room !
Am i sure she is not making it sound worse than it actually is !!! mmm well i think it was a bit off a shock to her , she is not in the habbit off overreacting or telling lies i mean she is a pretty sensible girl hence how she got into uni

I have takin on board some off the usefull comments on the board and i thank everybody for the help and usefull advice