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Am i being paranoid?

Just a quick question to see if it's me being paranoid, ive had a bit of a argument with my boyfriend so were sort of not speaking, ive had my suspicions that he's been messaging other women on facebook and on msn, ive asked him if he's doing this and he replied no, i don't believe him so ive asked him for his passwords for facebook and msn i know some of you will think that's his private stuff, but to me if theres nothing to hide then whats the problem, his reply was you can have it when i change my password as its the same for everything, to my knowledge those are the only two things i know about, am i just being paranoid?
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Comments

  • What gave you the suspicions ?
    Resolve not to be poor, Whatever you have , Spend less.
  • CG77
    CG77 Posts: 1,210 Forumite
    Hmmm sounds sus to me. But then I've had it done to me too and OH denied and denied it only for me to find I'd been right all along, so maybe I'm just paranoid now too!

    CG. x
    New Year, New Me!!!
    Weight loss mission 2012 has officially begun!!
    :jLoss so far: 3 stone 4lbs:j
  • tizhimi
    tizhimi Posts: 457 Forumite
    If you keep thinking your paranoid eventually your suspicions will come true...
    I run an event management company, I put on events, I go to events, if I don't know anything about events - its not worth knowing!
    :j:j:jNegotiate, Negotiate, and Negotiate again.:j:j:j
  • linz32
    linz32 Posts: 29 Forumite
    Firstly when im at work he's facebook a lot i ask him about it and he says he was talking to his sister, then this might sound stupid but he add's this one girl off a course he's doing then makes her admin on a group he's created, this makes me sound stupid i know, ive not seen him for 4 days he's been on facebook loads, when he comes to my house he brings his laptop goes on facebook then straight off it again, 2 weeks ago i noticed he had a message in his inbox he never opened it while i was there, i went out of the room and when i came back in he had opened it the little one next to inbox had gone, i asked him later on that night who it was off and he said it was his sister, when he's here and goes out like the other day he was here one night went to his mums the following day then was meant to stay here the same night he took his laptop with him and came up with the excuse, he can check the bank to see if his money had gone in. I think maybe im probably a bit paranoid as when i met him for around a year after i found him still on dating sites, he doesnt do that now as far as i know.
  • harley1
    harley1 Posts: 1,350 Forumite
    I've had it done to me too so I understand your reasoning. However, his passwords could be the same for his banking and credit card verification and stuff so I wouldn't assign guilt just based on the need to change the password.

    However, if you feel something is wrong then obviously the trust is gone and this is probably the issue that needs addressing the most.

    Hope you get a positive outcome.

    xxxx
    Cross Stitch Challenge member 11 - May challenge well under way

    Very proud mummy to Gorgeous baby girl - 29/09/09 :j

    Thanks to all who directed me to Quidco - £289.30 since Nov 09 :beer:
  • tizhimi
    tizhimi Posts: 457 Forumite
    Facebook/ myspace/ yourface etc.. just causes trouble. The potential data breaches - there is only so much that one should advertise their life online. Depends how much you want to keep this guy, if you want to keep him you'll just have to get over it and move on.

    I'd get rid of anyone I had suspicions on, I find that if I follow my nose it is right 99% of the time. The other 1% is margin of error, lol.

    If you found him on dating sites you've obviously forgiven him before, why don't you forgive him this time - is it too much? Its odd how us girls work I know but just do what you feel best in doing, just don't be a door mat.
    I run an event management company, I put on events, I go to events, if I don't know anything about events - its not worth knowing!
    :j:j:jNegotiate, Negotiate, and Negotiate again.:j:j:j
  • linz32 wrote: »
    Firstly when im at work he's facebook a lot i ask him about it and he says he was talking to his sister, then this might sound stupid but he add's this one girl off a course he's doing then makes her admin on a group he's created, this makes me sound stupid i know, ive not seen him for 4 days he's been on facebook loads, when he comes to my house he brings his laptop goes on facebook then straight off it again, 2 weeks ago i noticed he had a message in his inbox he never opened it while i was there, i went out of the room and when i came back in he had opened it the little one next to inbox had gone, i asked him later on that night who it was off and he said it was his sister, when he's here and goes out like the other day he was here one night went to his mums the following day then was meant to stay here the same night he took his laptop with him and came up with the excuse, he can check the bank to see if his money had gone in. I think maybe im probably a bit paranoid as when i met him for around a year after i found him still on dating sites, he doesnt do that now as far as i know.

    That is the reason then that you have these isues because off what happened at the begining off the relationship ie he was on dating sites for the first year.

    you should tell him that this is the reason you are paranoid and ask him if he can help you to overcome this by being honest and letting you see his email ....it shouldnt be a problem if he has nothing to hide

    good luck
    Resolve not to be poor, Whatever you have , Spend less.
  • I think you know the answer yourself.

    Tell him to shape up or ship out.;)
    Nature wants the human race to survive. However, it does not depend on us because we are not its only invention.
  • linz32
    linz32 Posts: 29 Forumite
    Thankyou for your replies that was quick, i don't think ive 100% forgiven him for the dating site business that was ages ago, im going to ask him again when i see him and see what his reaction is like, i asked him by text the first time.
  • tizhimi wrote: »
    Facebook/ myspace/ yourface etc.. just causes trouble. The potential data breaches - there is only so much that one should advertise their life online. Depends how much you want to keep this guy, if you want to keep him you'll just have to get over it and move on.

    I'd get rid of anyone I had suspicions on, I find that if I follow my nose it is right 99% of the time. The other 1% is margin of error, lol.

    If you found him on dating sites you've obviously forgiven him before, why don't you forgive him this time - is it too much? Its odd how us girls work I know but just do what you feel best in doing, just don't be a door mat.

    lol at facebook/myspace/yourface etc

    yes i agree it just causes trouble why are so many people these days inclined to display there lifes / pics etc i dont understand it :confused:
    Resolve not to be poor, Whatever you have , Spend less.
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