I'm so angry

SWMBO

pipkin71 wrote: »

It was my biggest worry, when I took my DDs out of school, bungle, but turned out not to have been a problem at all.

I often find myself smiling whenever I hear the 'What about socialising?' question, now

These days I tend to reply, " Well yes, it can be a problem finding time to study with so much socialising going on!"

reeree

PicnicBasket wrote: »

I hope you don't mind me reactivating this thread. After reading the whole thing this evening, I was compelled to register here (usually I lurk for tips only!) so I could respond.


Your grandson's story makes me feel deeply ashamed of our education system - what happened to him shouldn't have happened, and I can only suggest in defence of the school that in many ways their hands are tied; excluding a child has been made incredibly difficult, and they will also have a full picture of the lives of the bullies- no excuse, I know, but many bullies experience bullying themselves and some will respond accordingly. This means they can feel helpless and hopeless in situations like yours, but their attitude to you and your family was nevertheless appalling. Without doubt you did the best thing for him with remarkable bravery and determination.

I was gripped by your story - and almost in tears by the end of the thread. I have always felt that for some children, school just isn't right even though in an ideal world it could be. What you are doing for your DG is quite amazing and I wish you could come and speak to all schools in the country about it - it would be very humbling for them to hear about the enormous change you have made to his life. You are a true hero. And as for your DG, it sounds like he has been amazing, taking on board the changes with what sounds like a very mature sense of responsibility, relearning how to learn thanks to the wonderful relationship he has with his fabulous Nana. How brave of him to contact his ex-friend and reignite the relationship.

You have proved that you don't need to be a qualified teacher to teach a child, and in many ways shown that you can do the job enormously better than a school can in his case.

I have a very good friend who is now in her early thirties - she left school at the age of 12 because of bullying and more or less taught herself with the support of a loving grandma. She went on to uni. But the best thing about her is her amazing problem solving skills - she wasn't spoon fed answers (as I fear many schools do now thanks to the league tables and the pressures on teachers to see attainment in terms of numbers and grades), they worked out everything for themselves, they had to; how to negotiate the syllabus, how to find the information she needed, how to reach the higher grades. Now she can tackle anything, and is not afraid of challenges. She's a remarkable, successful woman. She is still quiet - that's her way - but she is happy, confident, capable and has wonderful friends.

I wish you every continuing success and thank you for sharing this remarkable journey; it has been an absolute inspiration.

thankyou so much for taking the trouble to write to me, lve shown what you have written to my grandson and he thought it was wonderful that someone had taken the time to write about him, l have to say l agree with what you say about the schools and also the fact that school is just not right for some children, l really feel that if we hadnt taken him out of school when we did he would have ended up a very different person to the person he is now turning into, which is a much happier child altogether, he has also been dischared by the councilor as she feels he is doing so well and dosent need it anymore so we are really happy about that, l know some children need years of counciling because of what theyve gone through which is so so sad
l think your friend is an inspiration and a testament to what can be achieved even when the odds are against them , thankyou once again you've made our day

UKTigerlily

I've just read through this thread from start to finish & what a rollercoaster, I can't even begin to imagine what you & your Grandson have been through. I think that your Grandson is extremely fortunate to have such a wonderful, caring Gran & that he himself shows remarkable bravery & maturity in how he has coped & dealt with the situation.

I was bullied from 5-16 by the same girl, as we got older it got worse & worse & even though I left school in 1995 it is still causing me problems to this day. I remember all too well the fear of going to school, missing lessons to avoid her, not being able to keep up with work due to it, not having friends etc

When I read that your Grandson had the courage to call one of the bullies & to become friends with him, well, I was speechless. That takes courage & maturity, I know I couldn't have done that. I truely believe you're a hero, you did the right thing & I only wish someone had done that for me. It's thanks to you that your Grandson has a future ahead of him - and to his hard work & attitude too of course - and i'm so glad to read he's doing well & the counselling helped.

I don't have kids but I know that if I did & they went through what I & your Grandson did, i'd be doing the exact same thing myself. I feel though that it's terrible it has to come to that, the child causing the problems should be removed from the rest of the class, whether they go to a school that can help them as many have issues themselves & know no other way to be, or they have teachers that specialise in kids that bully etc I don't know the answers but this shouldn't be happening.

Reading this thread has made me not only remember what I went through again but has made me feel that maybe I can help kids being bullied, whether that's volunteering for a helpline or similar idk but thanks to you & your Grandson I will be looking for ways to help.

Please give him a hug from me, he's a star for how he has coped, I wish him all the best & hope he does really well & continues to improve & be happy.

Thankyou for posting his story x

reeree

UKTigerlily wrote: »

I've just read through this thread from start to finish & what a rollercoaster, I can't even begin to imagine what you & your Grandson have been through. I think that your Grandson is extremely fortunate to have such a wonderful, caring Gran & that he himself shows remarkable bravery & maturity in how he has coped & dealt with the situation.

I was bullied from 5-16 by the same girl, as we got older it got worse & worse & even though I left school in 1995 it is still causing me problems to this day. I remember all too well the fear of going to school, missing lessons to avoid her, not being able to keep up with work due to it, not having friends etc

When I read that your Grandson had the courage to call one of the bullies & to become friends with him, well, I was speechless. That takes courage & maturity, I know I couldn't have done that. I truely believe you're a hero, you did the right thing & I only wish someone had done that for me. It's thanks to you that your Grandson has a future ahead of him - and to his hard work & attitude too of course - and i'm so glad to read he's doing well & the counselling helped.

I don't have kids but I know that if I did & they went through what I & your Grandson did, i'd be doing the exact same thing myself. I feel though that it's terrible it has to come to that, the child causing the problems should be removed from the rest of the class, whether they go to a school that can help them as many have issues themselves & know no other way to be, or they have teachers that specialise in kids that bully etc I don't know the answers but this shouldn't be happening.

Reading this thread has made me not only remember what I went through again but has made me feel that maybe I can help kids being bullied, whether that's volunteering for a helpline or similar idk but thanks to you & your Grandson I will be looking for ways to help.

Please give him a hug from me, he's a star for how he has coped, I wish him all the best & hope he does really well & continues to improve & be happy.

Thankyou for posting his story x

thankyou so much for your touching words, my dg read what you wrote and l wish you could have seen the big beaming smile he had on his face when he had finished reading it, he said it made him feel proud that someone thought that about him and he thinks its wonderful that he's inspired you to help children that are bullied, Lord knows someone has to help them and l think you would be amazing as you know first hand what its like to go through it and for so many years, l dont think you ever get over being bullied, my daughter was bullied for the whole time she was at secondary (same school that dg went to surprise surprise) but unlike dg she didnt tell us until she left as she thought it would make it worse if we complained, it still affects her to this day 18 years later. l really hope you do find a way to help the kids that are suffering in this way you would be an absolute Godsend

reeree

l just wanted to give those of you who followed my grandson's story an update as to how he is doing now, firstly let me start by saying l can't believe how far we have come since my first post and how desperate l was to help him, some of you will remember how l found a letter saying that he wanted to kill himself because he was so tormented by the bullies.

l just want to let you all know that he is now a different child to the one we took out of school all those months ago, he's so much happier and brighter than he was, he laughs an awful lot now which he never used to do much of back then, he has done so well with his school work and l'm amazed at what he has achieved.

The inspector paid his last visit to us last week and in his report he has said how pleased he was with what dg has achieved and he thought his art work was fantastic, l felt so proud of dg when he said that. I have to admit l have enjoyed helping to teach dg and am surprised at what l myself have learnt, its been an amazing experience that l would not have missed for the world (although l accept it's not for everyone we just felt there was no alternative)

It's been an incredible journey from start to finish, a few lows along the way but mainly highs and if l was asked to do it all over again theres no question as to what my answer would be.

jackieb

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear that he's doing so well - all credit to you.

reeree

jackieb wrote: »

Thanks for the update. It's great to hear that he's doing so well - all credit to you.

thanks jackie, that's so kind of you to say so

Shelldean

how bizarre I was only wondering this at the weekend. But of course forgot to check when i was on here!!!

I am SO pleased things turned out for the best I always said a grandmothers love is extra special and you've proved that.

Keep up the good work reeree xxx

meritaten

thanks for the update - I am so pleased its working out so well!

pixelation

I've been following the story as a lurker and am delighted for you both.