I'm so angry

joeblack066

OMG!! Yout thread could have been me writing about my daughter! She hates school because of the bullying, the school is useless and has a long history of ignoring the problem, and every day she breaks my heart as I look at her sad face going off in the morning. The school photo thing.....my daughter did exactly the same. Then I realise you're in Derbyshire................so are we! We are visiting a different school for her to go to if she likes the look of it, and if I was able to I would pull her out of school till then. I would find this very difficult in reality as I am a single mum so cannot give up work. I seriously wonder if it's the same school.............? Well done you on being a great grandma, your DGS is very lucky to have you, and with you behind him he'll go far.

reeree

joeblack066 wrote: »

OMG!! Yout thread could have been me writing about my daughter! She hates school because of the bullying, the school is useless and has a long history of ignoring the problem, and every day she breaks my heart as I look at her sad face going off in the morning. The school photo thing.....my daughter did exactly the same. Then I realise you're in Derbyshire................so are we! We are visiting a different school for her to go to if she likes the look of it, and if I was able to I would pull her out of school till then. I would find this very difficult in reality as I am a single mum so cannot give up work. I seriously wonder if it's the same school.............? Well done you on being a great grandma, your DGS is very lucky to have you, and with you behind him he'll go far.

I so feel for you and your dd, its awful sending them off to school each morning knowing what they are going to have to face he used to beg every day please dont send me, it broke my heart, I worried about my grandson all day every day after sending him off to school, every day someone had done something to him, the teachers were worse than useless, we pulled him out because we couldnt see him suffer anymore, also he was so behind with his work because he was getting barely anything done in class, he still is behind and its going to take a while for him to catch up but to us that dosent matter, if it takes an extra year so what, we did think about another school but because of his lack of confidence we risked it happening all over again and goodness knows what that would have done to him, his well being has to come first he is much much happier now and is a different child although he is still painfully shy with strangers but it is getting better. Have you been in touch with the lea to discuss your fears with them, l found them much more helpful than l expected. Three weeks ago my neice phoned me up to tell me she had taken her son out of primary school because she could no longer put up with the bullying, her son is so much smaller than the other kids so is a target for them, also a week later my sister in law phoned to say she had done the same, please let us all know how you get on, lm going to pm you the two schools involved as l dont know if l can mention them on here, if anyone know different please let me know

bungle82

quatrofromageo wrote: »

Home schooling detaches young people from their peer group and does more harm than good in the long term.

People saying things like this really angers me! What detaches young people and does them harm in the long-term is constant bullying in a school environment!!!

I was taught at home from 12 to16, managed to go to college at 16 and have worked full time since (I'm now 27). I'm able to socialise perfectly well with people of all ages and backgrounds and I'm not a recluse or loner.

On the other hand, whilst at school I was quiet and withdrawn.

If I had a pound for every time someone has said "What about socialising?" when hearing I was taught at home I'd be a very rich woman! People need to get out of the belief that school is the only place you can mix with other children and get an education.

Removing me from school and teaching me at home was the best thing my parents ever did and has made me a much happier adult as a result.

I hope everything works out for the OPs grandson in the long-term. Bullying is an awful thing that schools don;t always seem commited to stamping out. Having an anti-bullying policy is not enough - schools need to take action.

joeblack066

Hi Reeree, I would be very grateful if you would pm me, not least incase it's the school we will be visiting. Thx Joe.

reeree

bungle82 wrote: »

People saying things like this really angers me! What detaches young people and does them harm in the long-term is constant bullying in a school environment!!!

I was taught at home from 12 to16, managed to go to college at 16 and have worked full time since (I'm now 27). I'm able to socialise perfectly well with people of all ages and backgrounds and I'm not a recluse or loner.

On the other hand, whilst at school I was quiet and withdrawn.

If I had a pound for every time someone has said "What about socialising?" when hearing I was taught at home I'd be a very rich woman! People need to get out of the belief that school is the only place you can mix with other children and get an education.

Removing me from school and teaching me at home was the best thing my parents ever did and has made me a much happier adult as a result.

I hope everything works out for the OPs grandson in the long-term. Bullying is an awful thing that schools don;t always seem commited to stamping out. Having an anti-bullying policy is not enough - schools need to take action.

l totally agree with all youve said, what really is the point of socialising with people who only bring you down and chip away at what little confidence you have left, you wouldnt do it as an adult so why should children be expected to, better to chose who you want to associate with than to have it forced on you, Im so pleased things worked out for you.

reeree

joeblack066 wrote: »

Hi Reeree, I would be very grateful if you would pm me, not least incase it's the school we will be visiting. Thx Joe.

Joe, have just pmd you the schools, please let me know if its any one of them

reeree

joeblack066 wrote: »

OMG!! Yout thread could have been me writing about my daughter! She hates school because of the bullying, the school is useless and has a long history of ignoring the problem, and every day she breaks my heart as I look at her sad face going off in the morning. The school photo thing.....my daughter did exactly the same. Then I realise you're in Derbyshire................so are we! We are visiting a different school for her to go to if she likes the look of it, and if I was able to I would pull her out of school till then. I would find this very difficult in reality as I am a single mum so cannot give up work. I seriously wonder if it's the same school.............? Well done you on being a great grandma, your DGS is very lucky to have you, and with you behind him he'll go far.

Just bumping this in the hope someone will come along with more advice for you, Tandraig and Pipkin have a wealth of advice and hopefully will come along soon

PicnicBasket_2

I hope you don't mind me reactivating this thread. After reading the whole thing this evening, I was compelled to register here (usually I lurk for tips only!) so I could respond.


Your grandson's story makes me feel deeply ashamed of our education system - what happened to him shouldn't have happened, and I can only suggest in defence of the school that in many ways their hands are tied; excluding a child has been made incredibly difficult, and they will also have a full picture of the lives of the bullies- no excuse, I know, but many bullies experience bullying themselves and some will respond accordingly. This means they can feel helpless and hopeless in situations like yours, but their attitude to you and your family was nevertheless appalling. Without doubt you did the best thing for him with remarkable bravery and determination.

I was gripped by your story - and almost in tears by the end of the thread. I have always felt that for some children, school just isn't right even though in an ideal world it could be. What you are doing for your DG is quite amazing and I wish you could come and speak to all schools in the country about it - it would be very humbling for them to hear about the enormous change you have made to his life. You are a true hero. And as for your DG, it sounds like he has been amazing, taking on board the changes with what sounds like a very mature sense of responsibility, relearning how to learn thanks to the wonderful relationship he has with his fabulous Nana. How brave of him to contact his ex-friend and reignite the relationship.

You have proved that you don't need to be a qualified teacher to teach a child, and in many ways shown that you can do the job enormously better than a school can in his case.

I have a very good friend who is now in her early thirties - she left school at the age of 12 because of bullying and more or less taught herself with the support of a loving grandma. She went on to uni. But the best thing about her is her amazing problem solving skills - she wasn't spoon fed answers (as I fear many schools do now thanks to the league tables and the pressures on teachers to see attainment in terms of numbers and grades), they worked out everything for themselves, they had to; how to negotiate the syllabus, how to find the information she needed, how to reach the higher grades. Now she can tackle anything, and is not afraid of challenges. She's a remarkable, successful woman. She is still quiet - that's her way - but she is happy, confident, capable and has wonderful friends.

I wish you every continuing success and thank you for sharing this remarkable journey; it has been an absolute inspiration.

pipkin71

Sorry to hear your daughter is going through a difficult time, joeblack.

This thread, and the difficulties originally faced by reeree's grandson compared to where he is now, demonstrates how successful Home Education can be.

I don't know what route you will take, or whether your daughter is happy with the new school you have looked at, but feel free to ask anything and hopefully someone will know the answer

pipkin71

bungle82 wrote: »

If I had a pound for every time someone has said "What about socialising?" when hearing I was taught at home I'd be a very rich woman!

It was my biggest worry, when I took my DDs out of school, bungle, but turned out not to have been a problem at all.

I often find myself smiling whenever I hear the 'What about socialising?' question, now