Please help, partner spending my cash!

angeleeyes

I've done an Experian credit score, thankully nothing out of place there, to top it off all my credits are green 0's!!

On a side note, anyone know how to close the account? I had already taken up a free one in the past and had to renew card details, never told me the cost though.

bluebag

I have been married for 25 years to the same wonderful man and I have no clue what his pin number is. I respect his right to privacy and he respects mine.
I have never taken so much as 1p from our joint account without his consent. I wouldn't dream of it.
Our relationship is based on mutual trust, honesty and a desire to work together, going in the same direction.
I would sit down and have a very good think about the direction you are headed in together if I were you. Most problems require both parties to take positive steps toward resolution.

angeleeyes

Thanks again for everyone's input.

I'm prepared to give her a last chance (before I talk to her dad). The 'this will be the end of us' trump card will have no effect on me. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Horace

angeleeyes wrote: »

Seriously, this is the only issue in our relationship, I couldn't break up with someone because they have no understanding of money.

Theft is theft...you are very misguided if you think she has no understanding of money...she certainly does by not getting herself into huge debt but is quite happily destroying your credit by stealing your card and spending your money.

It certainly isn't normal to share pin numbers with people, even my soon to be ex husband didnt know my pin numbers nor I his. I had a separate account for my money and he had the same but we had a joint account for the mortgage which has been paid off now anyway. It also isnt normal to hand her your card when you get petrol either...its an invitation to steal.

Ask the bank to send you a new pin number and rather than have it sent to your home say that you will collect it from the bank, that way she can't open your post and steal it. The same with any new bank/credit cards...don't have them sent to your home address - have them delivered to the bank. Change your internet banking access details so that she can't steal that way either.

The only way you will get your money back from her is if you take her to the small claims court...although I doubt that even then she will bother.

At the moment she has no need to change because you are her own personal banker - ask her to move out (she can go and stay with her dad). Don't whatever you do get engaged to her.

southernscouser

angeleeyes wrote: »

I just received this text when I mentioned that I will be calling her dad tonight (yes, I know I was probably !!!! stirring by telling her, ah well).

"If you are honestly telling the truth, then you will be the cause for us to end. You had my word I would start repaying friday"

I'd cut your losses and run if I was you. :eek:

bluebag

southernscouser wrote: »

I'd cut your losses and run if I was you. :eek:

Yes, me too! I've seen this sort of thing a few times in my life, heartbreaking when they have kids.

yorkshire-lad

Most of what has been said,I totally agree with.
She cannot be trusted,I have a funny feeling that she may be spending her money with/on someone else. Sorry:(,but you shouldn't be with her!
It seems you have got your head screwed on,move on and start a new life.

nearlyrich

angeleeyes wrote: »

We know each others pin numbers, it's just common sense when you;re filling up with petrol or I ask her to grab some cash for me.

I will be cancelling my cards tonight.

As for setting up the standing order, supposedly she 'lost the pin computer thing' you need to set it up online (Nationwide).

What !!!!es me off is that debt against her name is only £800.

Did I make a huge mistake writing that £2,000 off early in our relationship?

It's madness to give anyone your PIN no matter how much in love you are

jennihen

Show her the responses you've had and maybe she'll realise that no one else would put up with that sort of behaviour. . . . .

gems2381

Listen to those who speak from experience! My ex was the same (which is why he's now my ex), I'm currently trying to get almost 3k off him through the small claims court. He now lives with a new girlfriend watching the tv I paid for and playing silly games on the computer I bought!