Please help, partner spending my cash!

Red_Fraggle_3

My ex started off like this then I ended up with 17.5k in debt becuase of him
Never stoped him going out with his mates buying stuff well it wouldn't because the money he used was mine - it won't get better unless she wants to change

POSSETTE

I bet her mates cut down on asking her out when she cant pay for them on your cards!
Please also do as suggested,check with credit expert and see if she has any loans etc in your/both name.
you could also find out what she has in her name if you register her!

CaroleM_3

Sorry took so long typing the below, didnt see that you had already replyed to everyone, changing the pin etc is a great start, just remember to put yourself first and protect yourself and your money xxx

Its not the only issue though is it?

Because the issues are:
that you cant trust her,
that she makes promises she doesnt keep,
that she steals from you and thinks its acceptable,
that she funds her friends nights out with your cash,
that she has you taking out debts in her name,
that she takes advantage of your trusting nature
....and probably more that I cant think off,

I know its hard when you love someone to see the worst in them, but please try to look reality in the face

You cant change her, nothing you say will make her act any different, only she can do that for herself, and do you really want to carry on like this for another 5 years? Do you not see how soul destroying that would be for you, and how resentful you would become of her, and how used you would feel?

angeleeyes

I just received this text when I mentioned that I will be calling her dad tonight (yes, I know I was probably !!!! stirring by telling her, ah well).

"If you are honestly telling the truth, then you will be the cause for us to end. You had my word I would start repaying friday"

So anyway, ultimatum is "You will be paying me back £x per month, one missed standing order or one more use of my card(s) will result in a phone call to your dad. End of discussion."

spykey_uk

angeleeyes wrote: »

I just received this text when I mentioned that I will be calling her dad tonight (yes, I know I was probably !!!! stirring by telling her, ah well).

"If you are honestly telling the truth, then you will be the cause for us to end. You had my word I would start repaying friday"

So anyway, ultimatum is "You will be paying me back £x per month, one missed standing order or one more use of my card(s) will result in a phone call to your dad. End of discussion."

I feel the powah!

Well done, that can't have been easy. She says you'd had her word, but she's broken that before so its not worth much.

Like you said, one more missed payment to you and then you should tell her dad and/or consider it over.

Good luck!

sarahs999

Manipulative madam! Unbelievable. NO, SHE is the cause for your relationship to end by acting like a spoilt brat.

I hope you kick her to the kerb, or her !!! into gear, whichever is less effort. I'd show her this thread if you want it to be crystal clear to her.

myothercarisaferrari

she sounds horrible and manipulative

Caroline73_2

Are you sure she is paying the household bills?

Well done on making the first steps to sorting her out.

spykey_uk

Its also classic emotional blackmail. "If you do this, the relationship will end and it will be your fault." - No, its her fault for breaking your trust time and time again, stealing from you and not showing you any respect.

Tixy

If you do decide to give her one last chance make sure it is that.
Don't accept any more excuses from here

(view it like this - you love her too much to break up with her, but if she breaks her word again she doesn't love you enough to want to save the relationship)