Please help, partner spending my cash!

spykey_uk

gfplux wrote: »

Wow if that is the ONLY issue in your relationship.
Don't you recognise that this "issue" is SO SO BIG that it is exactly the reason you should NOT have a relationship.
This is (almost) the same as saying "we have a great relationship the ONLY problem we have is she hits me every Saturday night.
Please wake up.


(I am not making light of physical abuse and have no wish to offend anyone)

No you're right, the most common cause of arguments is money and when you have a partner who is so fundamentally bad with money that she steals from you to fund her nights out etc then you've got a BIG problem!

bryanb

A lot of well meaning advice on here, but she will never change. Dump her, she will only continue to give you heartache. Even if you manage to control your own money the deceit will continue in other ways.

misspoppy

Hi

Whilst i agree with everything everyone else has said I really think you need to get real and keep your cards in your wallet in your pocket and change your pin, your thread title is help partner spending my cash, what is it you want us to do? You need to get tough what ever you do don't get a joint account because she'll be able to spend your money even easier.

angeleeyes

Thanks for everyone's feedback.

Pin is being changed and I'm closing the other Current account which she has access to (used primarily as a backup).

We will talk tonight, this is her last chance, one more step out of line or missed standing order = a phone call to her dad.

Thanks for the feedback people, I've been seeing this through loved up eyes.

KipKip_2

wow this sounds dreadful, wat a situaiton to be in, albeit you havent helped yourself by allowing her access to your cards!

you need to immedietly change ur pin, get your cards back. You need to talk to her, if shes' using all your money to fund her nights out, holidays, chinese's then where is her money going?

bryanb

angeleeyes wrote: »

Thanks for everyone's feedback.

Pin is being changed and I'm closing the other Current account which she has access to (used primarily as a backup).

We will talk tonight, this is her last chance, one more step out of line or missed standing order = a phone call to her dad.

Thanks for the feedback people, I've been seeing this through loved up eyes.

Are you sure her Dad will care? Presumably he brought her up and taught her standards to live by.

angeleeyes

"then where is her money going?"

Don't get me started on that, I have no idea and whatever she tells me I wouldn't believe.

The more I look at this the more I'm realising, oh dear.

kissjenn

Reminds me of one my dad's favourite sayings that people who act dumb and say they're no good with money are usually the ones who are never worse off due to their "stupidity".

Only thing wrong with the relationship is money...

oh and

respect
honesty
trust
decency and
commitment.

She would quite happily give you her money each month I bet because then you hand her the keys to kingdom. For the input of her salary she gets her bills paid, her debts paid and all the spending money you and your credit cards can afford. She and her friends will happily hae that until you're broke and she needs an alternative cash machine.

You know all this though...you just want us to tell you to leave her to make it easier!

angeleeyes

bryanb wrote: »

Are you sure her Dad will care? Presumably he brought her up and taught her standards to live by.

I have an excellent relationship with her family, they love me to bits, I get on really well with her dad (he'll call to speak to me and not her at times!).

I know he'd be very embarrassed over the matter, so would her grandma who would find out within 5minutes of her dad knowing.

Her grandma is probably the most sensible woman I've ever known with money.

misspoppy

Hi

I hope you are ok, realising that things are worse than you thought won't be easy look after yourself.